The only time we should be completely dependent on another’s for our wellbeing is when we are new-born babies. And although many would say our children are often dependent on us until they leave the family home, to what extent depends entirely on how we have raised them. It is not an inherent quality of human beings or any other life forms to depend entirely on another for their wellbeing for this goes against the natural order of things, but it is possible to distort the natural progression and growth of independence by rendering one incompetent through our actions and words. Probably the most detrimental thought a child may come to believe through having everything done for them is, “I am not capable, good enough or worthy to do this or that”. Although these types of beliefs are not based in truth, if we believe them we will make them true in our own life experiences as The Law of Attraction will bring us experiences that match what we believe until somehow we manage to change those beliefs.
I am not suggesting that anyone would do this to another on purpose, especially one they dearly loved. Nonetheless, this can be the outcome when we have taken it upon ourselves to do everything for them. When we don’t take the necessary time to teach our children how to do something that in the long run will be very beneficial for them, we unknowingly deprive them of many opportunities to grow and learn skills that will help them in all areas of their lives as they move through their physical journey. There is a multitude of reasons why we may be doing this but all will come down to the same core reason being, it feels better in the moment for us to do whatever it is ourselves than to get our children’s help.
Let’s face it, it takes time and patience to teach someone something new and sometimes we can be in short supply of both. If we are not taking the time to teach our children for whatever reason, it is something within our own thought process that we may need to change if we would like to be in a position to do this.
For example, a thought that may prevent us from getting our children to help us with household chores might go something like this. “It takes twice as long when they help and it’s never done exactly how I like it and they constantly complain”. Although this may be the reality of what initially happens one must have perseverance and a knowing that things will get easier as their child grows in confidence by being given responsibility and positive feedback. I understand there may always be some resistance from our children to help but when they understand that this is not something they do whenever they feel like it, but is the responsibility and benefits of belonging and being part of a loving and caring family where every person is valued and has input. An improved thought would be something like, “It takes me longer when I initially get the kids to help me so I’ll do it when I know I’ve got the time. I won’t expect perfection because I know it’s more important to have badly folded clothes than not giving them the opportunity to help, and I’ll let them know if they complain they are only making themselves miserable and it will probably take them twice as long!!!”
I speak frankly and honestly to my children when we talk and no subject is off-limits as far as I am concerned. I tell them I would not be being a very good parent if I did everything for them and didn’t teach them how to look after themselves and be more independent individuals as they grow. They know that even though it may be a long time away, it’s likely that Mum and Dad will make their transition back to Non-Physical energy before they will and although they will have the ability to interact with us if they so desire, it will never be the same as having someone right here, right now in all their physicalness to do this or that for them. Children can be more open than older human beings because of their limited life experiences, lack of resistance and a closer connection to the Source Energy from which they originally came that puts them in a good place to know the truth when they hear it. Resistance always comes from a long period of time of focusing on unwanted circumstances and experiences.
I know many people cope when they suddenly find themselves for the first time in their lives having to do almost everything for themselves and being unprepared for it. I can only speak for myself when I say I cannot feel good about doing this to anyone much less my own children. We live in a world knowing many different skills are required to thrive and be able to create the lives we are wanting to live so it is vitally important to be doing our best to teach our children these life skills.
If we are looking at the big picture and what we generally want for our children, not just for right now but for the future as well, this will always guide us down the best path for us to take.
I believe we are trying to raise, competent, resilient, kind, loving, caring, happy human beings and the best way we do this is through the power of our own example…….
And so it is……..