It’s true to say, most of us have held a grudge against someone at some time or another in our lives. It can be a natural reaction when we feel like someone has wronged us in some way, or we have been faced with a situation where we feel there has been an intention to purposely hurt us. It is not possible to look at something that is clearly unwanted and disregard it or be happy about it, but it is possible to move into a better feeling neutral place about it. Through my own experience, and by observing many others, I have come to the following conclusions;
1. Holding a grudge hurts the person holding the grudge the most.
2. Holding a grudge doesn’t change what has already happened.
3. Trying to hurt others only brings more unwanted circumstances into your life.
4. As long as you hold a grudge, you give others power over how you are feeling, the power that you should have, and that never feels good.
Some may say, “why should I forgive them, what they did was wrong”. Forgiveness is not about saying what they did was right or wrong, and it’s never about making the other person feel better, it’s about making ourselves feel better and being able to move on, to bigger and better things, rather than staying stuck in a miserable place that doesn’t feel good.
It’s completely appropriate to decide what it is we’re wanting to experience in our lives, but focusing on what others are doing that we may disapprove of, only attracts more unwanted circumstances with the same emotional feeling into our life experience. This is because, we get what we think about, or more aptly said, we get back how we feel. Whenever we think about something, it always produces a feeling within us, and the feeling we get is always communication from our Inner Being or the Non-Physical part of us, letting us know where we are in relation to what we’re wanting, regarding the subject being currently thought about. If we think about something and don’t have any feelings either positive or negative, we can be sure it’s a subject that currently does not matter to us, for anything that is important, will induce an emotional feeling within.
For example, if I’m annoyed about the way someone has been behaving, the fact that I am annoyed is an indication I am moving away from that which I am really wanting. One of the strongest desires within us is to be happy, and because we grew up with people around us trying to control everything we did so they would be happy, we may have continued on, in the same way. Many have realized it’s not really possible to truly control others, especially in the long-term, as it just makes everyone involved miserable, but we may not be sure how to change, or what to do.
Through our emotions, our Inner Being communicates with the physical here and now us, letting us know where we are in relation to everything we’re wanting. Negative emotion indicates movement in a direction that is taking us further away from what we’re truly wanting, whereas positive emotion indicates movement closer to that which we’re wanting.
Negative emotion is not bad, for its extremely valuable information when we start to understand what it means. We all have the power within us to move to a better feeling place about any and all subjects that are important to us, but many of us have not known this. Instead, we have taken our negative emotion as evidence that others are doing something they shouldn’t be and that it’s our job to control their behavior and keep them in line or we cannot be happy.
Nothing could be further from the truth, for we cannot control what others say or do, for they have the freedom to choose, just as you and I do. But there is something we have absolute control over, and that is how we feel, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you let them.
To begin with, it may seem like an impossible task, for if we were bought up just reacting to everything we were observing, just as many around us were doing, not knowing we had the power to feel better, and that feeling better moved us in the direction of what we were wanting, of course we wouldn’t have exercised a power we didn’t know we had. Nevertheless, that power pulses strongly within us, and like everything else, needs belief and positive focus, to bring it to the forefront of who we are.
The key is to take small steps if we can feel slightly better than we currently are, and we can maintain that better feeling place, that’s wonderful progress!
We didn’t come to how we feel all in one day, it requires focused thought over time and therefore changing our thought into a better feeling place does take some time and effort, but I cannot think of anything more important than feeling happier in our lives.
So let go of your anger and resentment towards others, don’t do it for them, do it for yourself, for you deserve to be happy, it is your natural birthright!!
So what will you choose now??
And so our journey continues…..