Resentment

Do you believe in a “Silver Lining???”

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Dreamy
Every situation has a Silver Lining. Whether we will experience the benefits of it depends entirely on our focus.           Paulette De-Har

Condemnation of any other never gets anybody anywhere they are wanting to go, this is for sure, even if it does temporarily feel good to do!!!

 

When we see anyone in our life doing something we don’t think is in our or their best interests, it’s virtually impossible not to feel some negative emotion about it, especially if it’s someone you are particulars close too or it’s a subject you feel particularly passionate about with strong underlying beliefs held behind it. It’s not about trying to eradicate any feelings of negative emotion we may have, this is not a very realistic goal in the world we’re living in now, it’s about knowing and exercising our own god given power to move into a better feeling place, therefore, drawing what we are wanting rather than what we are not wanting into our lives.

We choose to come into this physical world to experience and decide what we are wanting to live and to then focus positively and purely as we can until this is the dominant and strongest vibration within us on whatever is important to us. It’s never wrong to say this is how I want to live, this is what I am wanting to experience in my life, that is exactly what we came here to do, but problems can arise when we focus intently and strongly on the things we are not liking and don’t want to experience rather than focusing on what we love and are wanting to experience. If we are able to diligently focus more on what we are wanting and clear any resistant that turns-up by making an effort to move to the best feeling place we can find when faced with unwanted circumstances, it’s only a matter of time before we will see signs of our improved vibrational place in the way of thoughts, feelings, and eventually manifestations that match the dominant vibrational place we have consistently achieved. This is the Law of Attraction responding to the vibrations we emit through our focused thoughts and feelings with every living species on this planet being responded to equally. Not one sits outside of this all-encompassing powerful law, whether we are aware of it or not!!!

The strength of negative emotions we may feel when experiencing unwanted circumstances will depend greatly on how much momentum we have going in a positive direction versus how much momentum we have going in a negative direction. Whether the momentum we have created is positive or negative directly correlates with what will be predominantly turning up in our physical manifestations as the Law of Attraction responds to the thoughts and feelings, the vibrations we’re sending out.
It’s interesting to realise that when we focus negatively or don’t make an effort to move negative emotions into a better place when observing those we love doing things we don’t feel are in their or our best interests, we are adding power and momentum to what we are not wanting to experience and making it more unlikely that we will the recipient of what we are wanting. This is how we help to inspire the exact circumstances or behaviours we are not wanting out of others!!!

The truth is no matter what we do, we cannot truly control any other in our experience. If we believe we have power over others, this is an illusion, for one must freely give their power away to another, it is always a two-way street. We are all free to choose that which we do our actions, that which we say our words, and that which we think and feel no matter what someone else thinks, says or does about it. The best we can hope to do is to make peace with what others around us are doing especially those we love and care about, for this gives us the best possibility of experiencing and inspiring more of what we are wanting and less of what we are not wanting and lets the other know…..
Your way may not be the way that I would choose, but I know you came here to live your life the way you want to live not how someone else thinks you should live and I trust that you are doing the best that you can and I will do the best that I can to make my experience better by feeling good and focusing on the things I’m wanting to experience and all that is already wonderful in my life.

If we don’t feel we are able to feel better about what someone close to us is doing because it goes against something we strongly believe, a belief we do not wish to change because we believe it serves us very well, or maybe it doesn’t serve us well, we’re just not prepared to make the effort to change, because lets face it, long-held beliefs are not that easy to change even if they aren’t serving us very well. If judgement, resentment, and blame are allowed to grow, this often accumulates until the dissolution of the relationship happens. Although this is often difficult, it is a very good opportunity to release resistance and move to an even better feeling place that will attract even more wanted circumstances into our future experiences…

Yes……there’s a silver lining to every cloud, no matter how black that cloud may be, but we do have to believe it’s there to find it and to make it our daily work to move ourselves into the close vicinity of it by focusing on all the good that is already in our lives!!!

And so it is….

I’ve got one less problem without you…..OK???

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CrackedCity
These are the lyrics to a popular song right now, and as I listened to it, it made me think about what they were saying.

I’ve got one less problem without you, well maybe yes, and maybe no…. That depends entirely on our focus, don’t you think???
And as the title suggests, the answer or solution is to simply remove that unwanted person from our experience and all our problems (related to them) will be gone!! Whether this is a solution that’s likely to work in the long-term, depends entirely on where we are vibrationally when we take whatever action we’ve decided to take.

So let’s put a hypothetical situation forward as I seem to be liking doing that at the moment.
Say there’s someone in our recent experience we have a reasonable amount of contact with that’s behaving in a way that we’ve decided through the living of our life, is no longer in alignment with who we are, what we’re about and what we’re wanting to experience.

When taking action in relation to removing someone from our experience, if we’re feeling any negative emotion that’s strong in intensity that we’ve been feeling for some time, (achieving power and momentum of thought) this is a good indication we haven’t completely released resistance we’ve had from whatever has happened during this relationship which means we have a very good chance of attracting similar people or relationships in our future experience that have many similar characteristics to the relationship we’ve just left behind!!
That reminds me of a saying that speaks exactly to this truth, different places, different faces, same results.

On the opposite end of the scale, if we’ve made an effort to move ourselves into a better feeling place by working through our negative emotions and making peace with whatever has happened, we can move forward in a more positive way which means we don’t usually repeat the same experiences over and over because we’re gradually clearing the resistance we’ve got going on which is sometimes what attracted such a relationship in the first place. Action from more of a positive feeling place allows more of what we’re really wanting to experience in a relationship to flow into our experience!!

Many may say, I cannot make peace with what’s happened because what they did was wrong, and I will not pretend it was anything else.
And I say, moving to a better feeling place does not mean that what someone did was something we agree with, it’s about knowing that by holding onto resentment towards others, the Law of Attraction responds to the strong vibration we’re emitting, and if our vibration is not improved, we will be the receiver of similar circumstances again.
It’s only for our own benefit that one would make the effort to feel better, and any benefit that others may experience from our improved vibrational place is just an added bonus.

I know the relationships we have with others are complex and continually changing from day to day, one day things can be great, whereas the next day maybe not so great, but no matter how things are unfolding, we are the ones that hold the power in relation to our own experience and the relationships we’re having. We do not have the power to control what others say or do, but we have complete control over our thoughts and how we feel, and when we start to exercise control over what we’re vibrationally sending out, that changes everything!

Whether we’re continuing with the relationships we currently have or moving into new relationships, as long as we’re doing our best to move into a better feeling place at any given moment……That has to be good enough…..

And so it is…..

I’ve sacrificed so much for this…….Uh oh!!

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Sunset
If we feel like we’ve given up a lot for anything, whether it be our career, family, children, or friends, this can set us up for disappointment if the effort we feel we’ve put into such things is not reciprocated.

I often hear people say they do many things for their children and feel like their efforts are not appreciated.
And I say, if course our efforts are not appreciated….Children in these days are coming forward with a much stronger understanding of who they are, and who others are. They’re understanding whatever someone does is their choice and not so much about them, even if we are trying to tell them what we’re doing is only for their benefit. If we are feeling resentful about the things we are choosing to do for our children…..this is not ideal.

I know we all have to do thing’s sometimes that we’d rather not,(like going to children’s birthday parties!!!) And yes, maybe we’re doing it because we feel we should, but it’s important to make an effort to move into a better feeling place regarding whatever we’ve chosen to do otherwise it does leave one feeling quite resentful if appreciation for the unwanted effort we’ve made isn’t reciprocated.

From the viewpoint of Law of Attraction, if we are receiving back that which we are giving out through our vibration, and we are, when we feel annoyed or under appreciated, if we give these thoughts and actions plenty of air time and focus through our thought process the likelihood of receiving back appreciation for our efforts are not great. The more actions we take and feel annoyed, under appreciated, or begrudgingly do without improving our thought, the greater the possibility of attracting more circumstances where we may feel under appreciated!!

I know that may sound a bit, well…..annoying, but the truth is, even if we are doing something for someone else’s benefit, we must admit at some level, we are also doing it for ourselves, because we feel it’s the best choice we can make at that time. (even if it is a choice better two unwanted circumstances) It’s about taking responsibility for the choices we make and feeling as good as we can about them, rather than blaming others for “all that we have to do for them!”

Of course it’s wonderful when others appreciate what we do, it would be pretty unusual if we didn’t like to be appreciated, but it must be enough that it’s what we want to do, that it’s something we believe is good or of benefit to ourselves first, and then others.

Trying to make anyone feel guilty by telling them all the things we are doing “just for them,” is not usually a good idea and often encourages a greater lack of appreciation…..unless of course, we bring very unwanted consequences upon them.
Learning to appreciate that which we currently have rather than focusing on that which we do not yet have is a very important part of the creation process, for it’s our positive focus on all that we already have that is working well and good that is the easiest path to all we’re wanting in our future experience!! (Remember, Law of Attraction)

Appreciation is a difficult concept to teach to our children because they believe it’s their natural birthright to have anything they are wanting, and they aren’t too far off the mark with that knowing. I encourage this belief in my children (yes, I really do!!) and explain to them they also need to foster an attitude of appreciation for all they already have that is good rather than focusing on what they don’t immediately get. We also talk about the Law of Attraction and how we’re pre-paving our future experiences by how we are feeling now, and that making an effort to feel as good as we possibly can, especially in the face of unwanted circumstances, is the best we can currently do!
The best way we can hope to teach our children how to appreciate what they currently have is by being an example of appreciation ourselves. I’m not talking about over praising every tiny thing in an out of proportion general way, but more focusing on the good that we see all around us in very genuine and specific ways.

It’s not possible to fake true appreciation, and when we are looking for things to appreciate, it’s not long before the Universe delivers us circumstances that start matching that dominant vibration within us, and that is what one might say is…. “Choice”!!

And so it is….

Any communication is better than NO communication….Uhhhmmm???

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P&CWater
Well,….That depends I suppose, on how the communication we’re having feels in comparison to not communicating.

One thing is for sure though, if we are not communicating within the close and intimate relationships where having with others in a mostly neutral or positive way, especially when challenges present themselves, long-term this is not that good.
Although good communication is the foundation for happy, good feeling, positive relationships, in the short-term it can sometimes be better to say nothing if we feel full of resentment or anger, for communicating with anyone from this place rarely achieves what ones wanting straight away or in the long term either.
By this I mean, when we’re in a strongly negative feeling place and expressing that outwardly towards another, we may feel some temporary relief at letting that emotion out, but there is no thoughts, words or actions that do not have consequences based on the Universal Laws we all live by.

Thoughts that are thought about for long enough produce words that we speak and actions that we take, and as those words and actions are all originally inspired from thought, the Law of Attraction responds to our focused thoughts by sending us people, places and circumstances that are matching the dominant feelings we have going on within us on the subjects that are important to us. (and any subject we’re feeling strong positive or negative emotion too, is a subject that’s important to us) So we always get back what we give out eventually, and it’s easy to see no ones wanting negative and unwanted circumstances in their lives!!

Sometimes we may think that this means we need to be nice to everyone or do nothing when others treat us in a not nice way….And I say “No way,” not retaliating against someone that’s not being very nice, or more to the point, not currently being much of who they really are, is about knowing that by doing such things as returning negative that’s been given out by others just brings that negative vibration into our own lives.

Although 99% of the time it is better to ignore such people or circumstances and move to a better feeling place by ourselves in our own time, sometimes we do need to stand up and say something regarding negativity that someone else is directing towards us, even if they haven’t expressed it in words or actions yet, especially if it’s someone you spend a lot of time with or that’s important to you. If we do feel the need to say something, a good plan is to speak from the best feeling place we can find at that time and to do our conscious best to stay as calm as we can during our interaction. If things get too heated and not good feeling, it takes restraint, but it’s best to leave the conversation.
Resentment and anger about anything within our relationship that is not moved into a better feeling vibrational place either by ourselves or by communicating with the other, eventually kills relationships and is often the beginning of the end if left to grow…..
Even if we do feel a relationship is at its end, it’s still important for us to move into a better feeling place regarding it…..For this ensures the relationships we have in the future will not carry the emotional resistance of our previous relationships.
Letting go of resistance always moves us closer to that which we are really wanting 100%, so let go of any resentment you maybe feeling towards others if you can….
And remember, you are doing it first and foremost for yourself, and if others gain benefit from it, that’s even better….

And so it is….

I’ve been waiting for acceptance & approval from my parents for so long….

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KnowThySelf
Unfortunately many people are not allowing themselves to really feel happy because they are waiting for one or both of their parents unconditional love and acceptance.
And of course it’s wonderful when we feel we have their love and approval, but if this is not the case, it’s often because each generation, in their own right is different to previous generations, (that’s what they call progress I think!!) and for many people who are not very accepting of change or are wishing others were different to what they really are, (or maybe more obedient than they are) this can be difficult for them to accept and be happy about.
If you do not feel like you have received the love, acceptance or approval you thought your parents should have given you as you were growing up (and possibly presently too?) The most important thing to know is….Their inability to love unconditionally is far more about them than it is about you!

If our parents were not feeling good about something we were or were not doing, it was their inability or not knowing how to move themselves into a better feeling vibrational place that caused them to look on us with negative emotions or judgements, rather than us being wrong. Of course we did things that may not have been ideal, but that is the purpose they were there, to teach and guide us in a “positive way.”
It’s a very difficult task to guide another positively when we are not in a very good feeling vibrational place ourselves, but add to that the belief that others must behave in specific ways before we allow ourselves to be happy….And that’s a recipe for….Well, being very controlling and unhappy.
If we are requiring others to behave in ways we find acceptable and make us feel good, we give others the job of making us happy rather than taking the power we’ve had since the day we made our way into this physical body (and before we came forward too!!) by using our mind to bring ourselves into a good feeling vibrational place that is not so reliant on what is happening around us or what others are doing.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but everyone here is doing their best to make themselves happy, which doesn’t leave a lot to time for making everyone else happy which is the way it should be, for you cannot know exactly what will make others happy, that’s their job to figure that out and move towards it.
For those that are trying every which way to make others happy, they will eventually find it an impossible task to achieve consistently.

This being true, not much good comes from holding onto resentment and negative feelings about the way our parents did or did not raise us, for no matter what they did, most did the best that they could based on what they knew at that time, just as we are doing our best to raise our children now, based on what we know. It’s important to acknowledge the past cannot be changed, but how we feel about it now, can be changed and moved into a better feeling place if that’s what were wanting to do.
If we did receive our parents unconditional love as we were growing-up, it gives one confidence and self-esteem as it confirms what young ones know strongly as they come forward into their physical bodies, “I am a very good human being that deserves to be loved.” But if we felt we did not receive parental love, it can set up a mindset that goes something like, “If my mother or father doesn’t love me, maybe I’m not good enough?”
Of course this is not true, and most of us would agree that just because someone doesn’t love us, it doesn’t make us unlovable, but it matters more when we’re young as we’re more easily influenced, especially by those we hold in high regard and are strongly connected too.

So whether or not we felt loved and accepted or approved of by our parents while we were growing up, and even now, there comes a time when we must decide for ourselves that we are good enough and worthy human beings….
Because “who we really are” is all these things, and so much more….And when we know this is who we are, now we can see it in all others, and I say “That is so good!!”

And so it is….

Good relationships are all about compromise….Well, that depends???

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MoonStar
Whether or not this statement is true or not for us, depends on what our belief or definition of compromise is, and what we believe a good relationship should be.

It would be fairly accurate to say that many people’s definition of compromise is having to make concessions or accept something less than what we may have truly been wanting, against ones will for the benefit of finding a suitable resolution or agreement of opinion, between two or more people.

Most pronounce this to be a wonderful thing that makes relationships work, and of course we cannot expect to have everything our own way if we are wanting to have a healthy and happy relationship where both parties are feeling valued and respected, but whether this is a positive aspect in the relationships we currently have, depends entirely on how much one may be having to “compromise” and how they feel when they’re doing this.

The most important factor that supersedes everything else is, “How am I feeling about the compromise I’m making now?” which will be influenced by many different variables such as;
~ How often am I compromising in this relationship?
~ How much does my partner compromise, is there a fairly equal reciprocation between both parties?
~ How strongly did I want things to work out how I envisioned?
~ How big is the compromise I’m making, and how long will it last for?
There will also be many other factors that will be specific to different situations and relationships.

As long as we’re interacting with other people, we will all need to navigate our way through differences of opinions of what we are wanting, but I don’t think it’s hard to know, if we feel we’re having to constantly compromise on circumstances that we feel strongly about, and that it isn’t evenly shared between both parties, this is when resentment can grow, especially if it ins’t addressed and talked about in the early stages of feeling resentful.

If resentment is not dealt with, it doesn’t usually go away by itself. Felt and caught in the early stages, it’s possible to easily move ourselves into a better feeling vibrational place by focusing on all the positive aspects of our situation, whereas if not dealt with, it grows in intensity with each similar experience that unfolds, until as many people say, “The last straw that breaks the camels back” often happens.

Although getting things out in the open can often be good, and can help us to move forward in a more positive direction, if our negative emotions have grown very strong with a lot of power and momentum behind them, it’s very hard to talk in a calm and productive way, and communication can become a bit….well, explosive!! It’s not the end of the world if this happens, once both parties have had time to calm down, that can be when some positive progress can be made, if both parties are still wanting a positive resolution.
If we’re feeling like we have to constantly compromise within our relationships, it is not ideal. The best option in these circumstances is to make an effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place rather than agreeing to what others want and then feeling resentful because we’ve had to give up something we’re wanting for the other.
If we’re finding it hard to move to a positive feeling place and cannot accommodate what another wants happily, it’s better to spend more time discussing the situation and trying to find a solution together that both will be happy with, because it’s always usually there, it’s just a matter of taking the time and effort to find it!

So although we may initially feel some negative emotion when we’re compromising, it’s not until we move all our thought regarding whatever we’re compromising about into a positive feeling vibrational place, that it’s no longer a compromise, now it is something we are wanting to do for ourselves, not just something we’re doing for someone else.
That’s a great vibrational place to be in, and that’s what I would call “A win, win situation!”

And so it is….

Am I accepting of others???

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Voices Within
Often when people talk about accepting something, they are usually referring to having to accept unwanted situations that are happening in their life, and in the lives of others.
It’s true it’s virtually impossible to look in the face of something strongly unwanted and “jump for joy” about it, but we do have the ability to gradually move ourselves into a better feeling place regarding it, although many have never exercised their power to do so, and instead have focused intensely on everything in the world they feel is “bad or wrong,” therefore attracting more evidence through the powerful Law of Attraction, of that which they are not wanting.

There may be circumstances and people we’re involved with that may be doing things we feel are not in our or their best interests. In these instances it’s sometimes difficult to remove ourselves from the situation, so often the best call of action is to make an effort to bring ourselves into a better feeling place regarding whatever they are or are not doing.
Many may say,”I cannot do that because I strongly disagree with the choices they’re making” and although we may feel this way, people will often make their choices, with or without our input and judgements, so what is the alternative?

To try and manipulate them to make the choices we feel they should be making, to stay miserable about the choices they’re making, or to move to a better feeling place about the choices they’re making? For me, there is no choice. Although this is a choice, for me it’s No real choice.
What I mean is apart from just letting people be, and choosing to feel good apart from the choices they’re making, the other two choices never get you anywhere you really want to be!
For example, some people may feel that manipulating or convincing others to take a different action would be a more desired outcome than letting them make their own choice, and if we’re coming from a positive place of putting a different more wanted scenario forward if someone has asked for our advice, of course, this is wonderful and may likely be considered when one was making a choice. Whereas if we’re negatively focused and judging someone as “wrong” and trying to convince them to our way of thinking, this is not that good, and they’d be well advised not to take advice coming from someone in such a resistant place.

If we do manage to persuade someone to make a different choice against their better judgement, there is usually a backlash to this of negative emotions, either expressed outward towards others or inwards at the self.
Now, just being miserable about the choices others are making is not a good option, especially when we have the ability to feel better unless of course, we are enjoying being miserable and attracting similar feeling circumstances into our experience?
The easiest way I know how to move to a better place, is to acknowledge we’re all different, with different desires, and we cannot always know how a choice will unfold, for what unfolds, whether it’s positive or negative, may be exactly what is needed to move us forward in a more positive direction.
Sometimes we need to make choices that send us in a direction we don’t want to be in just to know where we really do want to be! We can always move forward in a positive direction no matter what choices we make, and there’s nothing like experiencing strongly unwanted circumstances that may help us to refocus us more in the direction we’re wanting to go!

Even a so-called “bad choice” can be brought to a better place by working through any resistance that comes up by doing our best to stay positive, it’s not so much about the choices we make, but how we react as unwanted, resistant circumstances turn up that determines the results we achieve.
The last alternative is not to be around people who are choosing things that go against what we believe in, and for others we don’t know very well, this is easy, but with those we are close too, this is not always an option.

As far as I can see, the only option is to wish them the best with whatever they are choosing and to accept that they must do what they feel is best for them, just as we are choosing what we feel is best for us….
For what else have we come into this Physical world for, if not to choose that which we are wanting???

And so our journey together continues….

Are you holding a grudge?…Who do you think you’re hurting???

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ProblemQuote
It’s true to say, most of us have held a grudge against someone at some time or another in our lives. It can be a natural reaction when we feel like someone has wronged us in some way, or we have been faced with a situation where we feel there has been an intention to purposely hurt us. It is not possible to look at something that is clearly unwanted and disregard it or be happy about it, but it is possible to move into a better feeling neutral place about it. Through my own experience, and by observing many others, I have come to the following conclusions;
1. Holding a grudge hurts the person holding the grudge the most.
2. Holding a grudge doesn’t change what has already happened.
3. Trying to hurt others only brings more unwanted circumstances into your life.
4. As long as you hold a grudge, you give others power over how you are feeling, the power that you should have, and that never feels good.

Some may say, “why should I forgive them, what they did was wrong”. Forgiveness is not about saying what they did was right or wrong, and it’s never about making the other person feel better, it’s about making ourselves feel better and being able to move on, to bigger and better things, rather than staying stuck in a miserable place that doesn’t feel good.
It’s completely appropriate to decide what it is we’re wanting to experience in our lives, but focusing on what others are doing that we may disapprove of, only attracts more unwanted circumstances with the same emotional feeling into our life experience. This is because, we get what we think about, or more aptly said, we get back how we feel. Whenever we think about something, it always produces a feeling within us, and the feeling we get is always communication from our Inner Being or the Non-Physical part of us, letting us know where we are in relation to what we’re wanting, regarding the subject being currently thought about. If we think about something and don’t have any feelings either positive or negative, we can be sure it’s a subject that currently does not matter to us, for anything that is important, will induce an emotional feeling within.

For example, if I’m annoyed about the way someone has been behaving, the fact that I am annoyed is an indication I am moving away from that which I am really wanting. One of the strongest desires within us is to be happy, and because we grew up with people around us trying to control everything we did so they would be happy, we may have continued on, in the same way. Many have realized it’s not really possible to truly control others, especially in the long-term, as it just makes everyone involved miserable, but we may not be sure how to change, or what to do.
Through our emotions, our Inner Being communicates with the physical here and now us, letting us know where we are in relation to everything we’re wanting. Negative emotion indicates movement in a direction that is taking us further away from what we’re truly wanting, whereas positive emotion indicates movement closer to that which we’re wanting.
Negative emotion is not bad, for its extremely valuable information when we start to understand what it means. We all have the power within us to move to a better feeling place about any and all subjects that are important to us, but many of us have not known this. Instead, we have taken our negative emotion as evidence that others are doing something they shouldn’t be and that it’s our job to control their behavior and keep them in line or we cannot be happy.
Nothing could be further from the truth, for we cannot control what others say or do, for they have the freedom to choose, just as you and I do. But there is something we have absolute control over, and that is how we feel, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you let them.

To begin with, it may seem like an impossible task, for if we were bought up just reacting to everything we were observing, just as many around us were doing, not knowing we had the power to feel better, and that feeling better moved us in the direction of what we were wanting, of course we wouldn’t have exercised a power we didn’t know we had. Nevertheless, that power pulses strongly within us, and like everything else, needs belief and positive focus, to bring it to the forefront of who we are.

The key is to take small steps if we can feel slightly better than we currently are, and we can maintain that better feeling place, that’s wonderful progress!
We didn’t come to how we feel all in one day, it requires focused thought over time and therefore changing our thought into a better feeling place does take some time and effort, but I cannot think of anything more important than feeling happier in our lives.
So let go of your anger and resentment towards others, don’t do it for them, do it for yourself, for you deserve to be happy, it is your natural birthright!!
So what will you choose now??

And so our journey continues…..