Appreciation

Giving something positive to someone else is truly giving them our love……

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Tiger
“THERE IS NO ULTIMATE MEANING TO ANY GIVEN SITUATION, EXCEPT FOR THE MEANING EACH OF US ATTRIBUTES TO IT. SO WHY NOT GIVE THINGS A POSITIVE MEANING?”             Paulette De-Har

While pondering a sad experience someone I dearly love is going through I started thinking about all the ways we give and show our love to each other. All love begins with our positive thoughts that if maintained lead to positive words and actions which then inspires more positive thoughts…….And so the momentum continues to grow.
This is always true when we are coming from a positive good feeling vibrational place even if it is not fully received by the other party involved. It’s not possible to control how others will react to what is given because that has everything to do with where they are vibrationally and very little to do with anything else. In other words no matter what is given to a person who sits in a strongly negative place it will be very hard for them to appreciate and receive anything good that’s offered to them. This is a classic example of when a person twists something to reflect what they mostly believe in.

This is a very natural occurrence done by almost everyone to some degree depending on their general outlook on life. For example a person who tends to look at mostly positive aspects in life will be more likely to see the positive aspects of both positive and negative circumstances, whereas a person who tends to notice mostly negative aspects will be more likely to see the negative in both negative and positive circumstances.
Everything that we observe and experience in our lives comes through the filter of our own personal perspective and experience so it’s a very good idea to know how we generally feel about things and whether we are usually more positively or negatively focused. It can be quite enlightening to make a list of about 8 to 10 subjects with a mix of important and not quite as important items and honestly think about what our most common emotional response or feelings are in these circumstances. ( For example, Positive, Mostly Positive, Neutral, Slightly Negative, Mostly Negative, or Negative.) This quickly lets us know where we generally sit and is an indication of how we tend to see the world around us.

Of course there will be things we struggle to feel positive about and that’s okay. It’s not about making ourselves feel bad about where we are but more about becoming more aware of who we are mostly being right now compared to who we really are or who we want to be and giving ourselves the power to make a different choice if that’s something that’s important to us.
So the idea is we have the choice to see anything positively, to pick out the positive aspects even from strongly negative circumstances just as we have the ability to see and pick out the negative aspects of a situation.

If we do want to make changes in our lives, it can take some training if we have positioned ourselves to see and notice negative aspects as this is what will always highlight itself to us. Not because the negative aspects are more important or stronger than the positive aspects, but more because this is what we have become accustomed to seeing and focusing upon and are therefore attracting more similar feeling situations into our experience through our own attention to them. It requires awareness and conscious effort to re-orientate ourselves in a more wanted direction but can definitely be achieved with time. All it takes is the desire to live a better, more fulfilling and enjoyable life, and the knowing it can be achieved by anyone who makes the effort to do so. And let’s face it, even though our lives are great, who among us wants less love, less fulfilling relationships and less enjoyment out of our life! Probably not too many people I’m guessing……

So let’s do the best we can to see and give the best we possibly can no matter where we currently are or what is showing up. It is my knowing that this will get every single one of us to where we truly want to go, eventually……

And so it will…….

How something as simple as washing the car can teach us some great life lessons!

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Flying House1
DON’T WAIT UNTIL SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY HAPPENS BEFORE FEELING HAPPY, FOR IT’S THIS ATTITUDE THAT KEEPS HAPPINESS AWAY EVERY SINGLE TIME!    Paulette De-Har

 

I never thought I’d write a post about washing my car, but when I was cleaning the house this morning I couldn’t stop thinking about the way I felt when I last cleaned my car so here goes……
It’s true most people are more likely to learn valuable life lessons from strongly positive or negative circumstances they experience in their life because it’s pretty hard to ignore something that’s slapped you in the face and said, “Hello, here I am, how did you like that!” And although that’s great if we are having strongly positive experiences, my point is that opportunities to learn and grow in our lives are everywhere, even in the most mundane of tasks that we may either dislike or do without much conscious thought behind it.
Let me back up a bit in time so we can get a picture of where I was, in relation to where I am now on the subject.
About 11 years ago I had a little SUV for 8 years that I absolutely loved driving. Being more of a fast driver than a slow driver and loving windy roads with music playing……. I just really loved driving her and often went on about it when talking with my husband.
Of course, my husband’s opinion was;
1. I drive too fast.
2. I drive far too fast around corners actually speeding up instead of slowing down!
3. I never washed my car which he ending up doing because he couldn’t stand it!
4. I should not let our young children eat food in the car.
5. I have the music up too loud.

(If you’re reading this Babe, I’m totally laughing right now……hehehe!!!)
Every time my husband cleaned my car which I greatly appreciated, he complained about me not doing it and said he couldn’t understand how someone who loved their car so much and talked about it as if it was an actual person rather than just a machine didn’t want to wash it themselves.
My excuses were;
1. It never looked that dirty to me because of the colour that it was.
3. I didn’t need to do it because he always did it for me.
4. It was not high on my priority list at the time.
5. It was not something I wanted to do.

Fast forward to 3 years ago and my husband chose a new car for me because I wasn’t sure what I wanted and thought I’d let him decide since he seemed far more excited about it than I was. The truth is I didn’t really want to get rid of my old car but she was getting old and was often needing work done, and then someone hit me from behind at speed pushing me into the car in front of me so all things considered it was probably inevitable we would need a new car sooner or later. You could say that the accident was literally a push in the new car direction.
My husband informed me the colour of my new car was black and it would need washing often if I wanted it to look nice. I resigned myself to the fact that I would probably need to take responsibility for keeping her clean.
Fast forward 3 years to now and I have been true to my word. Initially, I probably washed her every week due to roadworks but don’t need to do it that often now. To begin with, I didn’t love washing her but I did love how she looked afterwards so I continued. Now when I wash her I start to realise and feel the power of my positive focus and appreciation of her as I undertake this most mundane and initially unwanted task.

I love my new car as much as I loved my old car, but life happens and we get busy doing the normal business of living and sometimes our appreciation and positive feelings towards things can be diminished as we rush around getting things done instead of doing something and enjoying it as much as we can, even if it isn’t our favourite thing to do.

When we make the effort to orientate ourselves in this way on any subject in the world no matter how important or unimportant it appears to be, it isn’t long before unwanted, hard to do jobs become easier or even enjoyable to undertake.
There will always be things we feel we need to do that we don’t find very enjoyable. That’s the nature of being in a physical body in a physical world and becoming who we really are. It is possible to make these things easier to do and it comes down to our perspective on life and what our beliefs are.
We all have the ability to look at anything in any way that we choose to and whatever choices we make will directly affect the experiences we have and the outcomes we achieve. When we truly know this through observing our own lives, there simply is no real choice to make. Staying in a negative emotional place on any subject becomes an unacceptable place to stay when we know this will only make our experience more miserable, especially for things we regularly have to do. I know what I always make an effort to choose but at the end of the day, it’s each to their own……..

Well, after all that writing I think I better go and……..you guessed it, wash my lovely car!!!

And so I did……..

 

Why do others try to control me???

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FairyLights
No benefit comes from letting others control us. By giving into others against our own guidance hurts all involved in the end.          Paulette De-Har

This is a comment I received and responded to in relation to a post about special does not mean better, and since I thought it was especially special……..I thought it would be nice to post it. Thank-you to the person who sent it to me. I greatly appreciated your response as it strongly inspired much that I know and helped me to put that knowledge into words. Apart from that, it always feels very good when something we already know is understood in even greater breadth and depth than before.

 

COMMENTER:
It happens often that people when they want to try to control me, and they fail because I notice, they act as if I were better than them. I know that is not true, but nevertheless, I have to live with it. There are many people who control peoples’ lives because they probably don’t have a life of their own, or they like to project their frustrations on others. Special could also mean being able “to read between the lines.”

MY RESPONSE:
People often try to control others because they don’t like what “that person” is doing believing others behaviour will threaten them in some way or another. At the very core of who we all really are, it is known we are supposed to feel good but many have forgotten they have the complete and absolute power to make themselves happy and are instead trying to control other people and circumstances to produce the good feelings they desire.

Anyone who has lived for any decent period of time will usually come to understand that this is a futile endeavour but without knowing they have the power within them to move their thoughts and therefore their feeling responses into better feeling places, they are lost either continually trying to control others or to giving up hope of ever feeling better and remaining in an uncomfortable, not good feeling place. Both of these options are completely unacceptable when it does not have to be this way when we can;

1. Decide to make an effort to feel better than where we currently are apart from the physical conditions we may be experiencing. I know, not an easy thing to do when we have not practised doing this, but one must start somewhere don’t you think!!!
2. Knowing no other can assert anything into our experience for all things are created and attracted to us through the power of our focused thoughts that the Law Of Attraction responds in kind too, both wanted and unwanted whether we are aware of these truths or not.
3. Being kind to ourselves and others because that’s who we really are, and if it’s not possible in the moment, at least turning away and not responding negatively.

In response to others acting as if you are better than them when you are understanding you are not, this is often because people can sense when another they are observing is in a vastly different vibrational, emotional place than they are and will react in a variety of different ways depending on where they are. For Example someone in a very good feeling emotional place that is observed by someone in a low not so good feeling emotional place will often get strong negative attention directed towards them even though they are not giving this energy out!
Those that observe that are vibrationally closer to someone in a high good feeling emotional place are more likely to admire what they see but whether they will actually approach such a person depends on exactly how good they are feeling. In other words looking at others hi-lights within us how we really feel about ourselves but if we don’t know this we project any negativeness outwards to those we believe have created it where in truth it is our own beliefs, thoughts and feelings that have created this resistance within us.

I don’t believe people try to control others lives because they don’t have a life of their own, they try to control others because this is what they have been taught they need to do in order to feel happy, and everyone is trying to feel happy. It is true that many project their frustrations onto others because holding onto much negative energy without making an effort to feel better unconditionally apart from conditions is like putting an oxygen tank under pressure…..It’s only a matter of time before that pressure cannot be held in any longer and the tank explodes. Although most will temporarily feel better after this release of negative energy, it is short lived for as the Law Of Attraction responds to that which they have given out in the form of thoughts, words, and actions, that energy increases in power and momentum before being delivered back to where it first originated……
This is why reacting to strong negative energy others send out is not ideal for then negativeness they have released is passed on and although they will still receive back that which they have originally given out, now we will also receive back the negative energy we have received and in turn have given out and the chain of pain continues on and on……

Unless we start to understand through our own life experiences how this life is really working by paying attention to how we feel and noticing what is turning up in our lives. Anyone that does this from a pure place of wanting to know how to create a better life will eventually receive the answers they so desire!!!

And yes, special means different things to different people and I would agree being sensitive to oneself and others is very special indeed……

And so it is……

There’s no place I’d rather be!!!

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LionThese are lyrics to the song Rather Be by Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne.
So wouldn’t it be awesome if we could feel like there’s no other place we’d rather be for most of the time!! Although a difficult task for most to accomplish consistently, it’s a very nice idea and something that’s definitely worth working towards.

To come to the place where we may be close to appreciating where and what we’re doing no matter what’s happening around us, does take a certain perspective and understanding about life, and that perspective depends on what we believe and think about life. This, in turn, determines how we feel and the actions we take, influencing the physical manifestations we attract and experience.

If we are experiencing unwanted circumstances in our lives, although it’s possible, it’s hard at that very moment to say “there’s no place I’d rather be.” But it’s very possible to come to a place where we’re knowing so well how life is working and how we’re receiving whatever it is that’s turning up in our experience, that we can truthfully say, “I don’t like this unwanted situation I’m currently experiencing, but because I know so well how I’m creating my life experiences, and I know that this manifestation is resistance I wasn’t completely aware was within me, I’m going to do my very best to release it by moving to the best feeling vibrational place I can find from where I currently am now,” and that’s the best that anyone can hope to do.

We may not get to a positive vibrational place straight away depending on how strong our negative vibration is in relation to whatever’s happened, but any improvement is very good and will reap improved physical circumstances once it’s the dominant vibration within us on this subject.

The awesome thing about making small vibrational improvements on subjects that are important to us is…..It’s only a matter of time before we become very good at turning strongly negative into strongly positive with very little effort as the Law of Attraction adds power and momentum over time to all that we think and do.

This is when we start to feel the real power of who we are, the power we’ve always had to create the life we’re wanting to live….And now is the time to start accessing that power!!!

And so it is….

Do you remember it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow???

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Valentines Day Quote
This is something I asked my husband as I drove home today, just interested to know if he was even aware it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow!!!
That probably gives you an idea of how important it is to him….Hehehe!!!
Anyway, his answer was “Babe we don’t need to celebrate Valentine’s Day, every day is like Valentine’s Day to us!!!”
And I say, what a greaser…..But it’s hard not to smile at that well-prepared answer don’t you think???

I totally get it why heaps of people aren’t that happy to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’m sure I could make a long list of all the reasons why people don’t like it. But I won’t since this is supposed to be a blog focused on the positive side of life, not all the negative thoughts and beliefs we hold that may be stopping us from experiencing the fullness and richness of what this life has to offer us!!!(Opps, I do do that sometimes….Can’t solve a problem when we don’t know what the problem is, right???)

Although I understand the objections many have to celebrating such days, we can over think things, because after all sometimes it’s just nice to do something for someone you love without making a big issue out of it??? If we don’t feel like we can get ourselves into a good feeling place about doing something nice for our partner, we are better off to do nothing. There’s nothing worse than receiving something from someone that’s resentful about giving it!!!

Sometimes it’s an excuse for not wanting to get off our butts and do something out of our normal, often boring routine……Just another job on a long list of stuff we don’t want to do.
And I know it often doesn’t feel good to give to someone when there’s a very high expectation that we should, for appreciation is often low in these circumstances, but the way I see it is…. Something given to another with a pure and loving heart is worth so much.

It’s not about money or feeling we have to do something for someone out of obligation. It’s about love….Pure and simple love….

And so it is….

A blessing in disguise!!!

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BeachAngel
This is another way of saying….When we are knowing how this Universe and the Law of Attraction is working in our lives, we now understanding that everything that turns up in our physical reality, especially unwanted circumstances, are attracted to us through our own focus and helps us to move more fully into that which we’re wanting to experience in our lives. This statement especially relates to unwanted circumstances as being a blessing in disguise, because things we’re wanting that turn up aren’t disguised at all.

Although this is true, sometimes we don’t notice the small positive things that turn up because we’re strongly focused on the bigger circumstances were wanting to experience. Of course it’s good to be focused on what we’re wanting to experience in a good positive feeling way, but being purely focused on our end result in exclusion to anything else can somewhat blind us to the good that’s currently in our lives. Even the smallest wanted circumstance that manifests is worthy of taking note of, focusing on and appreciating because as the Law of Attraction responds to our good feelings and thoughts of appreciation, we create even more wanted circumstances in our future experience….And let’s not also forget, feeling good is feeling good!!!

Sometimes when we focus solely on the end result we’re wanting, even if we are positively focused, there’s often a vibration within us about the fact that what we’re wanting hasn’t materialised yet, especially if it’s something we’ve been working on for a long time. It can be a bit tricky to ignore the fact something we’ve desperately wanted hasn’t yet turned up, and depending on how strong this vibration within us is, it may prevent what we’re wanting from manifesting or our results may be a slightly mixed bag of wanted and unwanted circumstances.

So the moral of the story is….

~ Although it’s very important to improve our thought and cultivate our belief about the circumstances we’d like to unfold in our future experiences, it’s equally important to  focus on the smaller wanted details that are manifesting right now. This relaxes our focus into a better feeling place as it’s almost impossible to focus strongly on the good that’s around us now….And then be annoyed that this or that hasn’t turned up yet!!!

~ We all love it when things we want happen, but often it’s the unwanted circumstances that turn up in our experience that propel us forward in the direction we’re really wanting to go. Especially once we’ve released the resistant thoughts that attracted the unwanted circumstances in the first place.

~ Unwanted circumstances are never punishment but just a natural consequence of the creative power that’s within us all. This lets us know where our thoughts are in relation to what’s manifested, with positive good feeling thoughts attracting wanted circumstances and negative thoughts attracting unwanted circumstances.

~ When we start to understand how we create our experience and what unwanted circumstances really are, (A blessing in Disguise!!!) It makes it much easier to move through negative circumstances in a positive way, releasing resistance and moving  into a better feeling, higher vibrational place…..And that’s very good news!!!

And so it is….

I’ve sacrificed so much for this…….Uh oh!!

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Sunset
If we feel like we’ve given up a lot for anything, whether it be our career, family, children, or friends, this can set us up for disappointment if the effort we feel we’ve put into such things is not reciprocated.

I often hear people say they do many things for their children and feel like their efforts are not appreciated.
And I say, if course our efforts are not appreciated….Children in these days are coming forward with a much stronger understanding of who they are, and who others are. They’re understanding whatever someone does is their choice and not so much about them, even if we are trying to tell them what we’re doing is only for their benefit. If we are feeling resentful about the things we are choosing to do for our children…..this is not ideal.

I know we all have to do thing’s sometimes that we’d rather not,(like going to children’s birthday parties!!!) And yes, maybe we’re doing it because we feel we should, but it’s important to make an effort to move into a better feeling place regarding whatever we’ve chosen to do otherwise it does leave one feeling quite resentful if appreciation for the unwanted effort we’ve made isn’t reciprocated.

From the viewpoint of Law of Attraction, if we are receiving back that which we are giving out through our vibration, and we are, when we feel annoyed or under appreciated, if we give these thoughts and actions plenty of air time and focus through our thought process the likelihood of receiving back appreciation for our efforts are not great. The more actions we take and feel annoyed, under appreciated, or begrudgingly do without improving our thought, the greater the possibility of attracting more circumstances where we may feel under appreciated!!

I know that may sound a bit, well…..annoying, but the truth is, even if we are doing something for someone else’s benefit, we must admit at some level, we are also doing it for ourselves, because we feel it’s the best choice we can make at that time. (even if it is a choice better two unwanted circumstances) It’s about taking responsibility for the choices we make and feeling as good as we can about them, rather than blaming others for “all that we have to do for them!”

Of course it’s wonderful when others appreciate what we do, it would be pretty unusual if we didn’t like to be appreciated, but it must be enough that it’s what we want to do, that it’s something we believe is good or of benefit to ourselves first, and then others.

Trying to make anyone feel guilty by telling them all the things we are doing “just for them,” is not usually a good idea and often encourages a greater lack of appreciation…..unless of course, we bring very unwanted consequences upon them.
Learning to appreciate that which we currently have rather than focusing on that which we do not yet have is a very important part of the creation process, for it’s our positive focus on all that we already have that is working well and good that is the easiest path to all we’re wanting in our future experience!! (Remember, Law of Attraction)

Appreciation is a difficult concept to teach to our children because they believe it’s their natural birthright to have anything they are wanting, and they aren’t too far off the mark with that knowing. I encourage this belief in my children (yes, I really do!!) and explain to them they also need to foster an attitude of appreciation for all they already have that is good rather than focusing on what they don’t immediately get. We also talk about the Law of Attraction and how we’re pre-paving our future experiences by how we are feeling now, and that making an effort to feel as good as we possibly can, especially in the face of unwanted circumstances, is the best we can currently do!
The best way we can hope to teach our children how to appreciate what they currently have is by being an example of appreciation ourselves. I’m not talking about over praising every tiny thing in an out of proportion general way, but more focusing on the good that we see all around us in very genuine and specific ways.

It’s not possible to fake true appreciation, and when we are looking for things to appreciate, it’s not long before the Universe delivers us circumstances that start matching that dominant vibration within us, and that is what one might say is…. “Choice”!!

And so it is….

Am I being a good Husband or Wife???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

Babe&MeLaugh
That depends on a few different factors such as, what we believe being a good husband or wife involves and whether or not it’s important for us to live up to those beliefs.

In the past I have felt quite uncomfortable when people have suggested I’m being a good housewife. Of course when this is said it’s usually coming from a good feeling place….But it does make me think about the whole husband, wife, and marriage relationships many of us are living.

Traditionally, being a good Husband or Wife usually meant that we would do what was prescribed or largely accepted by the society, community or culture we grew up within, that we may have felt we needed to adhere too, in order to be seen as appropriate or good?

I’m not suggesting many of these values are not working, especially if they are what we’re really wanting to do within our relationships, but it’s not ideal if we’re putting what we are really wanting secondary to what everyone else thinks we should be doing, or what we think others think we should be doing!

Although all the relationships we’re within are constantly changing and we are continually coming to new and improved decisions on how to move forward in the most positive ways we can from wherever we are vibrationally, it’s true to say, if we are always putting someone else’s needs before our own needs, not so much because we want too, but more because we feel this is the way we have to behave otherwise we aren’t a good husband or wife…..Well…..I don’t know???

And yes, I know there needs to be a bit of give and take in every relationship, but if we don’t get our thought in the best feeling place we can when we do compromise, so that it becomes not as much of a compromise, but more something we are wanting to do for ourselves, and the other, this is a much better place to be coming from. If we often do things just for the other without getting ourselves in a good feeling place, we can expect a lot of appreciation in return for our efforts, which we often don’t receive because the other believes we should have wanted to do it, hence two slightly annoyed people!!

It does not matter what type of relationships we’re talking about, getting the best out of them always requires a similar formula.

~Above all other things, be true to who we are and what we’re wanting, and listen to the Inner Guidance we’re receiving from within through our emotions, for this is guiding us to everything we’re wanting, not just in our relationships but in everything.
~Know what it is that we want to bring into our relationship that’s going to make it more Awesome, not just what we want the other to be like or to give.
~Make it a priority to be responsible for our own happiness, rather than relying on someone else to provide that happiness for us.
~Allow others freedom to be themselves, if we are trying to change them, this does not feel good for either party and can cause relationships that were good to turn not so good because of focus on everything about the other we’re not liking!! Remember, the Law of Attraction is responding to our dominant thoughts and feelings on all subjects that are important to us, so if we focus strongly on everything we don’t like about someone, even if it is someone we love deeply, so we receive more of what we are not wanting.
~Sometimes we just need to chill out and relax a bit and not take everything so seriously, choose what’s really important and let the not so important stuff go.
~Know that all usually works out for the best, even when it’s sometimes hard to see how straight away….
It isn’t supposed to be so much hard work, it’s supposed to be fun!!

And so it is….