Giving something positive to someone else is truly giving them our love……


While pondering a sad experience someone I dearly love is going through I started thinking about all the ways we give and show our love to each other. All love begins with our positive thoughts that if maintained lead to positive words and actions which then inspires more positive thoughts…….And so the momentum continues to grow.
This is always true when we are coming from a positive good feeling vibrational place even if it is not fully received by the other party involved. It’s not possible to control how others will react to what is given because that has everything to do with where they are vibrationally and very little to do with anything else. In other words no matter what is given to a person who sits in a strongly negative place it will be very hard for them to appreciate and receive anything good that’s offered to them. This is a classic example of when a person twists something to reflect what they mostly believe in.

This is a very natural occurrence done by almost everyone to some degree depending on their general outlook on life. For example a person who tends to look at mostly positive aspects in life will be more likely to see the positive aspects of both positive and negative circumstances, whereas a person who tends to notice mostly negative aspects will be more likely to see the negative in both negative and positive circumstances.
Everything that we observe and experience in our lives comes through the filter of our own personal perspective and experience so it’s a very good idea to know how we generally feel about things and whether we are usually more positively or negatively focused. It can be quite enlightening to make a list of about 8 to 10 subjects with a mix of important and not quite as important items and honestly think about what our most common emotional response or feelings are in these circumstances. ( For example, Positive, Mostly Positive, Neutral, Slightly Negative, Mostly Negative, or Negative.) This quickly lets us know where we generally sit and is an indication of how we tend to see the world around us.

Of course there will be things we struggle to feel positive about and that’s okay. It’s not about making ourselves feel bad about where we are but more about becoming more aware of who we are mostly being right now compared to who we really are or who we want to be and giving ourselves the power to make a different choice if that’s something that’s important to us.
So the idea is we have the choice to see anything positively, to pick out the positive aspects even from strongly negative circumstances just as we have the ability to see and pick out the negative aspects of a situation.

If we do want to make changes in our lives, it can take some training if we have positioned ourselves to see and notice negative aspects as this is what will always highlight itself to us. Not because the negative aspects are more important or stronger than the positive aspects, but more because this is what we have become accustomed to seeing and focusing upon and are therefore attracting more similar feeling situations into our experience through our own attention to them. It requires awareness and conscious effort to re-orientate ourselves in a more wanted direction but can definitely be achieved with time. All it takes is the desire to live a better, more fulfilling and enjoyable life, and the knowing it can be achieved by anyone who makes the effort to do so. And let’s face it, even though our lives are great, who among us wants less love, less fulfilling relationships and less enjoyment out of our life! Probably not too many people I’m guessing……

So let’s do the best we can to see and give the best we possibly can no matter where we currently are or what is showing up. It is my knowing that this will get every single one of us to where we truly want to go, eventually……

And so it will…….

How your parents feel about you doesn’t matter…….Unless it matters to you!


Big Bear

Something worth remembering while pondering the question of how much we care about what our parents think about us is.……They are merely human beings with human beliefs, human failings and resistance just as all human beings have, although to differing degrees depending on how we’ve lived our lives and the choices we’ve made. In other words how anyone thinks or feels about anything is a reflection of the life they’ve lived and the beliefs they hold, it is not the ultimate truth of how things should be but is purely one’s own perception of how they feel the world should or shouldn’t be. This purely personal perspective comes from deciding what we want to live in our lives but has nothing to do with what someone else may be here to do or what they want to live in their lives. In fact, if you think about it…..It is highly arrogant to believe we know what any other human being has specifically come here to do and then dictate to them in a negative way when we feel they are not meeting what we think they are here for and what they should be doing……..What a joke! Many people find it difficult themselves to know why they are here and what they should be doing let alone knowing what others are exactly here to do and how and when they should be doing this or that.


Many may argue, “I’ve been here longer and I know more about life so they should follow what I say.” And to some extent, I would have to agree, especially when children are very young with little to no life experience behind them. But as they grow and learn it is so important to guide them in a positive way from a good feeling place and for them to start being the driver in their own life rather than the co-pilot that’s being told what to do all the time.

When a child’s life is micromanaged and strongly controlled usually one of two things happen. Either the child rebels with strongly negative behaviours or gives in and lets every facet of their life be controlled. Neither alternative is ideal and can incapacitate someone as they grow if they start to believe they are not good enough or are not capable to do things for themselves. If a child has come to believe such negative things about themselves this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where they unknowingly create circumstances that give them evidence of the beliefs they hold. This can take a long time to unlearn such distorted beliefs with many living a large portion of their physical life feeling this way until they become aware of who they really are and what they are really capable of.

I’m sure it would be true to say that no parent would knowingly do this to their children and that if this does happen it’s through a lack of both understanding and awareness of what we are really doing and how this life is really working.

Getting back to how our parents feel about us, if emotions of love, respect, honesty and acceptance are felt from our parents obviously this is wonderful, but on the flip side of this, if we are met with feelings of hostility, resentment, annoyance, disapproval and coldness, this is not so good. This is a type of very conditional love. A love that says I will love you if you will do this or that, otherwise I will not love you. Instead, I will resent you and I will do my best to make you feel bad so you will change your behaviour and then I can look at you and feel happy. This has everything to do with being selfish and nothing to do with unconditional love. True happiness never comes from trying to control another’s actions but through guiding in a positive manner by controlling our mind and making a constant and consistent effort to find good feeling emotions no matter what outer circumstances we may be presented with. If we are unable to give this unconditional love to our children it will be likely that we will not be able to give unconditional love to anyone including ourselves.

If we feel a lack of approval from our parents because of the choices we’ve made in our lives that for whatever reason they don’t agree with, it is completely our choice to how we choose to feel about this. We can either feel bad and blame either ourselves or our parents for not behaving in a better way, or we can acknowledge that we are an individual with our own lives to live and be happy we have been true to who we are by doing what we believed was in our best interest at any given time.

Isn’t that what everyone is doing. I know we consider those we care about when making decisions, but essentially our decisions come from our own personal perspective, not another’s. It is important to be strong and not allow our parents or anyone else’s negative feelings about us to send us crashing off into the ditch of, “I’m not good enough or poor me.” Such beliefs unconsciously filter into every part of our lives reaping unwanted results that can be difficult to trace back to a belief we may be unaware we have. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t consider changing something if we feel this is appropriate and is a good direction to take, but changing to gain approval from anyone else is not a very good idea for now we are being guided by someone externally to ourselves that can never truly know what is in our heart and the direction that is best for us to go in. This guidance comes from within each of us and is directed by the life we’ve lived so far and what we are wanting so is specific to each individual person and cannot be truly known by someone outside of us.

So let’s guide our children in the best way we know how from the best possible feeling place we can find. Strive to unconditionally love and guide them no matter how they behave. Support them and let them learn the power that they have to create their own life, to make good decisions, to know how to be happy, and to believe in who and what they are.

Teach them that you only want the best for them, that you understand it is their life, not your life they are living, and most importantly teach them that what you or anyone else thinks about them doesn’t truly matter……All that matters is how they think and feel about themselves.
That’s when we have taught them truth and strength, and from this place of empowerment and knowing, there is nothing they cannot achieve……

And so it is……

Causing a person to become overly dependent on us is not a kind thing to do……

FailureSuccessThe only time we should be completely dependent on another’s for our wellbeing is when we are new-born babies. And although many would say our children are often dependent on us until they leave the family home, to what extent depends entirely on how we have raised them. It is not an inherent quality of human beings or any other life forms to depend entirely on another for their wellbeing for this goes against the natural order of things, but it is possible to distort the natural progression and growth of independence by rendering one incompetent through our actions and words. Probably the most detrimental thought a child may come to believe through having everything done for them is, “I am not capable, good enough or worthy to do this or that”. Although these types of beliefs are not based in truth, if we believe them we will make them true in our own life experiences as The Law of Attraction will bring us experiences that match what we believe until somehow we manage to change those beliefs.

I am not suggesting that anyone would do this to another on purpose, especially one they dearly loved. Nonetheless, this can be the outcome when we have taken it upon ourselves to do everything for them. When we don’t take the necessary time to teach our children how to do something that in the long run will be very beneficial for them, we unknowingly deprive them of many opportunities to grow and learn skills that will help them in all areas of their lives as they move through their physical journey. There is a multitude of reasons why we may be doing this but all will come down to the same core reason being, it feels better in the moment for us to do whatever it is ourselves than to get our children’s help.

Let’s face it, it takes time and patience to teach someone something new and sometimes we can be in short supply of both. If we are not taking the time to teach our children for whatever reason, it is something within our own thought process that we may need to change if we would like to be in a position to do this.
For example, a thought that may prevent us from getting our children to help us with household chores might go something like this. “It takes twice as long when they help and it’s never done exactly how I like it and they constantly complain”. Although this may be the reality of what initially happens one must have perseverance and a knowing that things will get easier as their child grows in confidence by being given responsibility and positive feedback. I understand there may always be some resistance from our children to help but when they understand that this is not something they do whenever they feel like it, but is the responsibility and benefits of belonging and being part of a loving and caring family where every person is valued and has input. An improved thought would be something like, “It takes me longer when I initially get the kids to help me so I’ll do it when I know I’ve got the time. I won’t expect perfection because I know it’s more important to have badly folded clothes than not giving them the opportunity to help, and I’ll let them know if they complain they are only making themselves miserable and it will probably take them twice as long!!!”

I speak frankly and honestly to my children when we talk and no subject is off-limits as far as I am concerned. I tell them I would not be being a very good parent if I did everything for them and didn’t teach them how to look after themselves and be more independent individuals as they grow. They know that even though it may be a long time away, it’s likely that Mum and Dad will make their transition back to Non-Physical energy before they will and although they will have the ability to interact with us if they so desire, it will never be the same as having someone right here, right now in all their physicalness to do this or that for them. Children can be more open than older human beings because of their limited life experiences, lack of resistance and a closer connection to the Source Energy from which they originally came that puts them in a good place to know the truth when they hear it. Resistance always comes from a long period of time of focusing on unwanted circumstances and experiences.

I know many people cope when they suddenly find themselves for the first time in their lives having to do almost everything for themselves and being unprepared for it. I can only speak for myself when I say I cannot feel good about doing this to anyone much less my own children. We live in a world knowing many different skills are required to thrive and be able to create the lives we are wanting to live so it is vitally important to be doing our best to teach our children these life skills.
If we are looking at the big picture and what we generally want for our children, not just for right now but for the future as well, this will always guide us down the best path for us to take.

I believe we are trying to raise, competent, resilient, kind, loving, caring, happy human beings and the best way we do this is through the power of our own example…….

And so it is……..

What causes the yo-yo dieting effect???


There’s no use denying where we really are…….Acceptance of where we truly are is required with a focus on where we really want to be.      Paulette De-Har

Many people will understand very well through the living of their own life experiences that a lot of the time dieting doesn’t work.


Not only do people sometimes experience very sporadic results but on finishing a diet will often gain what they initially lost and then gain more on top of that, hence the term yo-yo dieting.
Many attempts at dieting ending with the above results can leave one feeling rather demoralized making the chances of succeeding at further attempts later down the road even more unlikely.

I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging right now but there’s no hiding from the truth. Putting one’s head in the sand and not acknowledging what is really happening doesn’t mean that it won’t happen and in truth sometimes guarantees it will. Knowledge is power so when we understand more about possibly how and why things are happening as they are, we are in a much better position to make an informed decision on how to move forward in a more positive direction.

There are as many different reasons why diets don’t work as there are people doing diets because each person’s thought process on the subjects of food, eating, exercise, and general health will be different based on their own personal life experiences. Nevertheless, almost all unwanted results that are achieved will be the result of having a stronger vibration made up of our thoughts and feelings that are more orientated towards what we are not wanting rather than what we are wanting.

For example;
~Focusing on the feeling of being deprived of what we really want to eat versus feeling proud we are doing something very good for our body, mind, and soul by making an effort to become more healthy.
~Focusing on feelings of being disappointed in a lack of visible results versus feeling happy with the improvement in energy, body strength and any other improvements in health no matter how small they may seem.
~Focusing on how hard it is versus the positive benefits one is achieving.

When beginning any new course of action whether it be an improved eating regime or exercise regime, work schedule or anything else, there will always be doubts that come into one’s mind as to which way to go. This is completely logical as the mind can often be resistant to change, especially if we have shied away from change and left others around us to make decisions for us. If the mind is not taken control of by the occupant of that mind it tends to run riot by spewing out negative thoughts and reasons why this or that will not work to try to keep the status quo. A mind not kept in check by moving initial negative thoughts to a more positive good feeling place can make one feel defeated before any actions have even been taken. Most people will not have the ability to take action from this place of negative contemplation as this kills any belief one might have of succeeding, and let’s face it no one wants to start something they don’t believe they can do, especially when it’s going to take a lot of effort.

Another factor that has strong influences on the results we achieve will be how big the change we are planning to make is and how difficult it will be to implement. Major changes in many different areas of our current lifestyle make it difficult to maintain and increases greatly our expectation of seeing results quickly. Expectation can be good but only when we are sitting in a strongly positive place of belief and knowing otherwise it tends to have the opposite effect especially if we have placed a strict time limit on ourselves. Both expectation and time can be positive or negative depending on where each person is sitting vibrationally on whatever they are wanting to achieve. But one thing is for sure, unrealistic expectations and strict time limits hardly ever put us in the ideal place to experience the good feeling life we are wanting.
It’s better to be flexible and open about both time and expectations as this gives us the freedom to change as we move forward without declaring we have failed because we haven’t followed an unrealistic schedule we’ve set down for ourselves.

Ok, so what happens when we initially make progress achieving some success with what we are wanting to do, in this case losing weight but then put it all back on plus some more. When we implement big changes in many different areas of our lives it can be very hard to maintain. The body may initially respond to the extra exercise or change in diet even if we aren’t liking it,  but unless our thoughts and feelings are improved and we can maintain feeling good about what we are doing apart from purely seeing physical results, they are hard to achieve. Any results gained are eventually lost as our enthusiasm for taking the actions we believe are required dwindles. Putting more on after this can only be the result of feeling stronger negative emotion about it. It’s very understandable because it never feels good to have tried something and to feel like we have not succeeded.

Although we all know what we put into our bodies and how much we move directly affects our health and well-being, none of this action makes any long-term difference if our thought is not changed and improved. Any action taken from a resistant uninspired place is always very hard that often produces poor results and doesn’t last unless great strength over our mind is attained. Great benefit can be gained from undertaking something we initially find hard if our mind is strong and we do our best to improve our thought as we go. No matter which way we look at it, it’s always the same. The body follows the mind every single time. A strong body cannot be found in a weak mind and a weak body cannot be found in a strong mind. Working only the body in exclusion to the mind is like trying to drive a car without a motor in it!!! That’s funny don’t you think…..

It is a simple formula really, but when translated into all the specific details of our lives and who we have specifically become in this physical body, it does get complicated I know.
The formula is, take the time to move our thoughts as close as we can to belief and knowing before taking any action. Once this has been achieved one will usually know or have a very good feeling about the initial actions that should be taken, this is inspired action that comes as a result of our improved vibration. Continue to improve any resistant thoughts that come up and focus on the positive aspects of what we have chosen to do and be open to making changes as we move forward.

Whatever anyone is wanting to achieve, I know for sure they can. But what I know about someone else’s experience really means nothing unless they know it themselves……..

For we are the true creators of our lives, and we create our lives through our focused thoughts and feeling, our vibration……..

And so we do…….


In the wrong place at the wrong time….Not likely!!!


Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is only a matter of perspective and depends largely on what we have consistently focused on in the past.       Paulette De-Har

I think most people understand what is meant by the phrase in the wrong place at the wrong time and it goes something like this……..If I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time this unwanted circumstance would not have happened to me. Although one has to say that is true in relation to any event we have experienced, even if we do manage to closely dodge an unwanted experience, if we are emitting a strong enough vibration about anything through our focused thoughts and feelings the attraction process will be well underway with much momentum behind it. Unless we are aware of how we are feeling and understand our positive emotions mean we are moving towards wanted experiences and our negative emotions mean we are moving towards unwanted experiences, people do not usually make much effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place. Of course, if we know this very well and have observed it in our own life experience we are far more likely to make an effort to improve how we feel, especially when having very negative emotions. When we have improved and maintained how we feel about any subject this becomes our new vibrational place that the Law of Attraction will be responding to therefore we will be attracting better circumstances into our lives.


There are many different ways we can react if we find ourselves almost or even actually experiencing unwanted circumstances but all fall into two main categories…….We will react either positively or negatively and whichever way we choose to react will be pre-paving our future experiences in relation to the subject we have just experienced.

Now it’s not easy to look directly in the face of unwanted circumstances we are currently experiencing and be positive about it, and I would go as far to say this is almost impossible for 99% of human beings. We did not come here to try to like things we really don’t like and don’t want to experience. That being said, we did come to create and experience what we are wanting and we do that through observing both our own and other people’s lives and letting what we don’t like inspire within us what we do want that we then have the choice to focus positively on or not. If we’ve made an effort to move forward from the initial negative emotion we may have had when experiencing unwanted circumstances and continue to improve how we feel by maintaining our positive focus on what we are wanting without letting doubts distract us from our positive thought process, it isn’t long until we are the beneficiaries of greatly improved circumstances in our lives.

So back to the title of this post, there is no “in the wrong place at the wrong time”. We are always in the right place at the right time whether the circumstances we experience are wanted or less than wanted. Circumstances aren’t just happening haphazardly to anyone at any moment for no particular reason but are being called to us through our focused vibrations both individually and collectively. The more aligned we are with our good feeling emotions of belief, knowledge and excitement when we are thinking and doing something, the better our manifested reality will be in the present moment and in the future. In contrast to this, the more aligned we are with our not good feeling emotions of despair and boredom when we are thinking or doing something, the greater the possibility of unwanted circumstances manifesting into our reality are.

Here is an example of how one might like to make an effort to move to a better feeling emotional place when experiencing unwanted circumstances.
At first, let the negative emotion come, let it be felt in its entirety as long as physical aggression towards others is not a possibility.
If physical or extreme verbal aggression is likely, one must immediately remove themselves from the environment and other people to a place they can safely express their negative emotions without the risk of passing it on to others and then receiving it back as the Law of Attraction responds to what has been given out!!!
If we cannot immediately improve how we are feeling, distracting ourselves with an entirely different subject may be necessary until the intense emotions we have felt subside somewhat. It is important to feel our negative emotion for if it is stifled and ignored it sits within us without being improved which is not what anyone wants when they know the Law of Attraction is still responding to it. This is often the case when individuals experience a similar scenario over and over again. Different faces, different places but basically the same experience….. This is usually the result of complete unawareness of either how we are creating our life experiences or how we are really feeling but more often than not it’s both.

A small emotional movement done often with awareness can make a very big difference to how we feel in our lives. I can’t think of anything that’s more important than paying attention to how we are feeling and making an effort to feel better as we go about the details of our lives…….

For this is how we become the creators we came here to be and how we create the lives we really want and deserve to live……

And so we do……

Why is it difficult to change my beliefs?


Boat in a Bottle
If we can only believe in what is right in front of us, improved circumstances will be very hard to come by……For it is the belief in our ability to achieve what is not here yet that brings it to us.      Paulette De-Har


Sometimes we continue to do things the way we’ve always done them simply because we’ve always done things this way and often haven’t even considered changing what we’re doing. That being true it can also be difficult to change our beliefs because the Law of Attraction continues to send us circumstances that match our dominant vibrational offering and having one or two thoughts on what we would like to change does not have enough attraction power to override a strongly held belief that’s been given much thought to overtime especially if we’ve had many firsthand personal experiences.
In other words, it takes quite a lot of time and focused effort to change our beliefs even when we know they are no longer serving us. It’s often not until we start to understand we are the creators of our lives through our focused thoughts and feelings that create our beliefs, that we emit a vibration of, that the Law of Attraction gives us more evidence of, that we can begin to change.

Of course, everything is always changing, that’s one of the principles this Universe is based upon and in and of itself cannot be changed!!! (That’s funny…….everything changing never changes!!!) If we feel like things aren’t changing, it’s because they change to similar circumstances that match the vibrational place (thoughts, feelings and beliefs) we may have held overtime that may or may not be serving what we are really wanting to create in our lives.

For example, a trait one may believe they have or will experience because many members of their family may have had or experienced is a belief that more often than not, does not serve us. It is true we have inherited much genetic material from our paternal parents. This has been the building blocks that have allowed our transition from 100% pure positive Non-Physical energy into a blending of both Non-Physical and Physical Earthbound energy. Our genetics we begin with are purely the beginning place of our physical existence, like a canvas that has not yet been painted on. As we grow and learn on our physical journey we start to paint our canvas through our thoughts and feelings that in turn continues to shape our future experiences.
What we see and are surrounded by as we grow up often becomes the beliefs we prescribe to and expect which continues to be reflected in our own experiences as we move through time. It is not a question whether a belief someone holds is true or not. No matter what our beliefs are, if we hold them strongly they will be true in our experience because the Law of Attraction will make it so.

Whether our beliefs are true or not is not a criteria or beneficial way to judge whether to hold onto a belief that is not serving us no matter how many people around us, immediate family or not are experiencing it. For there are many things out in the world that are true and happening that we do not want to bring into our own experience and just because something is true or has happened to someone else or even ourselves in the past is a poor excuse for focusing on a strongly unwanted circumstance unless we are purely focused on the improved outcome an unwanted circumstance has inspired within us.
Unfortunately not many human beings at this time are able to stay positively focused on the solution they wish to see when faced with unwanted circumstances, especially with subjects they feel very strongly about, and I totally get it…….it’s not that easy!
Better criteria to use when questioning if a belief we hold is serving us is, does this belief I hold make me feel good and will it create wanted circumstances if it comes into full fruition in my experience?
If the answer is yes then this is a belief that is worth putting a strong focus on until a pure place of knowing is achieved and maintained. If the answer is no and we have beliefs that produce negative emotions when thought about, this definitely will not produce wanted circumstances if full manifestation is achieved and it would be a good idea to think about the wanted circumstances that have been inspired within us. If we cannot reach for a better feeling place immediately we may need to direct our thoughts to a completely different better feeling subject until our resistance subsides somewhat.

Reestablishing improved beliefs does not usually happen overnight because remember, the Law of Attraction is matching us with what we are vibrating and we will need to give the improved beliefs we would like to experience much thought until it becomes the new dominant vibration we are emitting.
During the time of making an effort to change unwanted beliefs, it is quite normal to get a bit of a mixed bag as far as experience goes. In other words, the Law of Attraction is responding to all our vibrations until one becomes dominant and then our experience can start to smooth itself out as our vibration pulses strongly in our newly improved place.
I understand it’s not always the easiest thing to do but let me ask you……..What is more important than this??? Dealing with the physical manifestations that come from beliefs that are not serving us takes much time and energy and drains the physical mind and body. Actions taken in these circumstances are hard work and produce poor results at best, whereas when our improved beliefs begin to gain momentum everything starts to take care of itself without the need to deal with strongly unwanted circumstances.

Now we are living in a time of heightened change. We can make our lives better by being the change we wish for or we can make our experience somewhat difficult by refusing to change and holding to what we know is no longer serving us……..

I can’t speak for anyone else but I sure know what I prefer.

And so I do…….

Be careful if you stick your oars into someone else’s boat….You might not like what you find!!!

BoatIn truth we don’t really need to worry about sticking our oars in someone else’s boat because no matter where we’ve chosen to put our oars, we have the ability to remove them and put them somewhere else.

Although easy in theory……..Not always so easy in reality. Why is that???

Once we have put or given our focused attention (oars) to anything whether it be a particular person, personal situation or even circumstances that for the time being sit outside of our immediate experience, momentum of thought is created.
Once momentum of thought has been achieved through our focused thoughts, words and eventually actions, this can be like trying to stop a train that has gained quite a lot of speed. We may be able to slow it a little bit, but we’d probably get run over in the process. The faster the trains going (a subject that’s been given a lot of focused thought over time) the bigger the chance of being run down is if we try to stop it. Whereas the slower the trains going ( a subject that’s been given a small amount of thought over less time) the less likely we are to be run down.

Given this analogy, if we are feeling some negative emotion to certain thoughts we are having, it seems like it would be a good idea to stop our train (the momentum created through our focused thoughts) before something unwanted turns up in our experience. On the other hand if it’s good feeling positive emotions we’re feeling, no one in their right mind would want to stop the momentum of that!!! Positive emotions held onto over time with belief and knowing, especially in the face of opposition to what we are wanting (resistance) must eventually attract what we truly are wanting. That’s the Law of Attraction in action with no living entity on this planet sitting outside of this Law…..”EVER!!!” (As Count Dracula says in Hotel Transylvania……God I love that movie!!!)

So the question needs to be asked……why wouldn’t we stop a train that’s going in an unwanted direction before it gets too far off its path and becomes a bigger problem???
Mainly because firstly we may not be aware of how our train came to be off its path, and secondly because we don’t know how to get our train back on its path. It helps to know how we came to be off track before we can truly begin to be able to get back on track.

Generally, most human beings are captivated by what’s happening around them giving their undivided attention to whatever’s happening. That’s great if everything we’re observing is what we are wanting to experience, but let’s face it, I don’t think there’s probably anywhere on this planet one could go and find all circumstances around them to be to their liking, unless they have made it their primary job to disregard unwanted and focus as much as possible on what they see that they like.
So no matter where we find ourselves, there is the potential to focus on either wanted or unwanted circumstances, and it would be accurate to say what and how we focus the energy that pulses through us directly correlates to the circumstances we attract into our life experience.

Never before in our history has there been so much energy moving so quickly through all life forms on this planet. This means that results from our focused thoughts are attracting vibrational matches far more quickly than ever before. It does not take long when we hold either negative or positive emotions on any subject that is important to us to see the attraction process begin its momentum. This causes us to feel our emotions quickly and strongly, giving us the opportunity to acknowledge where we are and to make an effort to start and change our thought patterns if we feel we may be going off in the ditch somewhere.

The stronger emotions most are feeling in these times, although rather bothersome especially if they are strongly negative, helps to prevent us from becoming complacent or from just ‘putting up with it’ so to speak. If we are experiencing negative emotion but are not dealing with it in its earlier more subtle stages, it does not stay at that level of intensity for long. If not moved into a better feeling place by making an effort to change the thoughts that produced the negative emotion in the first place, it only gets bigger and feels stronger until it’s almost impossible to ignore or ‘put up with’. If we continue to ignore when we feel strong negative emotion, momentum grows until we experience fully manifested circumstances that will have the same emotional feelings to what created it in the first place. Very good if it’s positive good feeling thoughts and circumstances we’re focused upon…….Otherwise no so good.

Back to our oars, there really isn’t anything to fear about where or who we choose to give our attention to because we have the absolute free will and power to retreat and simply put our attention (oars) somewhere else, but it’s very helpful to know that the more we focus on where we’ve put our oars that we didn’t want too, the more entangled we become in something we aren’t wanting. If momentum is not slowed down and changed, this can send us into a place where the choices we currently find before us are choices we don’t want to have to make. Even if we find ourselves in these circumstances…….All is never ever lost.

We can start from wherever we are right now, no matter how bad we may currently feel. We can start to feel better and better therefore creating and attracting better and better circumstances into our lives!!!

This I know to the core of who I am……

And so I do…….

Why do others try to control me???


No benefit comes from letting others control us. By giving into others against our own guidance hurts all involved in the end.          Paulette De-Har

This is a comment I received and responded to in relation to a post about special does not mean better, and since I thought it was especially special……..I thought it would be nice to post it. Thank-you to the person who sent it to me. I greatly appreciated your response as it strongly inspired much that I know and helped me to put that knowledge into words. Apart from that, it always feels very good when something we already know is understood in even greater breadth and depth than before.


It happens often that people when they want to try to control me, and they fail because I notice, they act as if I were better than them. I know that is not true, but nevertheless, I have to live with it. There are many people who control peoples’ lives because they probably don’t have a life of their own, or they like to project their frustrations on others. Special could also mean being able “to read between the lines.”

People often try to control others because they don’t like what “that person” is doing believing others behaviour will threaten them in some way or another. At the very core of who we all really are, it is known we are supposed to feel good but many have forgotten they have the complete and absolute power to make themselves happy and are instead trying to control other people and circumstances to produce the good feelings they desire.

Anyone who has lived for any decent period of time will usually come to understand that this is a futile endeavour but without knowing they have the power within them to move their thoughts and therefore their feeling responses into better feeling places, they are lost either continually trying to control others or to giving up hope of ever feeling better and remaining in an uncomfortable, not good feeling place. Both of these options are completely unacceptable when it does not have to be this way when we can;

1. Decide to make an effort to feel better than where we currently are apart from the physical conditions we may be experiencing. I know, not an easy thing to do when we have not practised doing this, but one must start somewhere don’t you think!!!
2. Knowing no other can assert anything into our experience for all things are created and attracted to us through the power of our focused thoughts that the Law Of Attraction responds in kind too, both wanted and unwanted whether we are aware of these truths or not.
3. Being kind to ourselves and others because that’s who we really are, and if it’s not possible in the moment, at least turning away and not responding negatively.

In response to others acting as if you are better than them when you are understanding you are not, this is often because people can sense when another they are observing is in a vastly different vibrational, emotional place than they are and will react in a variety of different ways depending on where they are. For Example someone in a very good feeling emotional place that is observed by someone in a low not so good feeling emotional place will often get strong negative attention directed towards them even though they are not giving this energy out!
Those that observe that are vibrationally closer to someone in a high good feeling emotional place are more likely to admire what they see but whether they will actually approach such a person depends on exactly how good they are feeling. In other words looking at others hi-lights within us how we really feel about ourselves but if we don’t know this we project any negativeness outwards to those we believe have created it where in truth it is our own beliefs, thoughts and feelings that have created this resistance within us.

I don’t believe people try to control others lives because they don’t have a life of their own, they try to control others because this is what they have been taught they need to do in order to feel happy, and everyone is trying to feel happy. It is true that many project their frustrations onto others because holding onto much negative energy without making an effort to feel better unconditionally apart from conditions is like putting an oxygen tank under pressure…..It’s only a matter of time before that pressure cannot be held in any longer and the tank explodes. Although most will temporarily feel better after this release of negative energy, it is short lived for as the Law Of Attraction responds to that which they have given out in the form of thoughts, words, and actions, that energy increases in power and momentum before being delivered back to where it first originated……
This is why reacting to strong negative energy others send out is not ideal for then negativeness they have released is passed on and although they will still receive back that which they have originally given out, now we will also receive back the negative energy we have received and in turn have given out and the chain of pain continues on and on……

Unless we start to understand through our own life experiences how this life is really working by paying attention to how we feel and noticing what is turning up in our lives. Anyone that does this from a pure place of wanting to know how to create a better life will eventually receive the answers they so desire!!!

And yes, special means different things to different people and I would agree being sensitive to oneself and others is very special indeed……

And so it is……

Does the Universe have my back???


Big Bear
The Universe always serves us up what we believe in. So the question is, do we believe the Universe has our back?          Paulette De-Har.

When I speak of the Universe, I am referring to the pure positive energy that has created all that ever has been in the past, all that is now, and all that ever will be in the future.


It is not the intention of this post to argue whether we do or don’t believe there is a pervasive intelligence and creative life force behind all things…..I’m assuming this is a knowing whoever is drawn to this post already knows, or is on the verge of understanding and coming to know or at least is starting to consider???

Firstly, to answer this question it helps to have a basic understanding of how the Universe works. At its core, the main principle which governs how life unfolds for all life forms on this planet is simple, although when applied to the specific details of one’s own life experience in all its diversity, often becomes quite complex and not so straightforward, even when we know quite well how things work. This principle is known as the Law of Attraction and simply states, what one gives out…..They will eventually get back. Let’s assume this is how the Universe operates…..And it does!!! The idea that the Universe is evaluating what we are doing and deciding “Yes, they seem worthy to get this or that, or no, they don’t seem worthy of this or that,” becomes quite a ridiculous proposition. Although the Universe is always aware and interested in what all living creatures are doing, it is not arbitrarily sorting out who is worthy to receive “good stuff.” We are the ones that decide whether we are worthy to receive good stuff through the power of our focusing on what we are wanting positively, but we do have the complete free will to focus in any way on anything wanted or unwanted!!!

In essence, all life comes forward from non-physical pure positive energy to experience a physical life with the ability and free will to make both good and bad choices and to feel the full spectrum of emotions from high-flying good feelings like joy and appreciation, all the way down to rage and hopelessness.
The emotions we feel are communication from the part of us often referred to as our soul or inner being that has remained in the non-physical realm letting us know what we are currently creating in our lives and our future experiences. Positive emotions we feel are creating circumstances we are wanting in our lives whereas negative emotions we feel are creating circumstances we are not wanting to experience in our lives. The purpose of this emotional communication is to let us know what we are creating and to help us direct and focus our thoughts and feelings into the best emotional place we can find to get our creative energy moving towards what we really are wanting to experience.

The free will we choose to have would not be free will if someone outside of us had a whole heap or rules that we had to abide by or we wouldn’t get what we wanted…..That’s a very conditional type of free will and love. The truth is we are so free to choose, we can create very bad circumstances from the choices we make. This is not possible when we remain in the pure positive place of the non-physical realm because, well……it’s a place of pure positive energy, the energy that has created all things, and that energy is only ever good!!!
So an agreement is made to come forward to experience the full spectrum of what life has to offer by having the freedom to choose.
The Universe is not judging what we are choosing as right or wrong but is simply reflecting back to us in manifested form what we are giving out through our thoughts, words and actions and is also communicating and giving us guidance through our emotions. If we are listening and coming to know what this emotional communication means, we can start being the true creators we came here to be by creating more of what we really are wanting and less of what we aren’t really wanting.

In truth, the Universe does have our back…..Not because we kept to a whole lot of rules that were interpreted by human beings thousands of years ago that may have been initially and currently misunderstood??? We will know that the Universe and the Law of Attraction does not play favourites, that the playing fields are clear and fair for everyone no matter what colour, creed or religion we may be.
We will know through our own life experience that ultimately we are the creators of our own lives both individually and collectively and that we do it through the power of our thoughts and emotions.
And mostly we will come to know not one among us has been left on our own without clear and constant communication with that which we really are, the pure positive creative energy that is life itself…..

And so we are!!!

If the politicians did a better job, my life would be better…..Wouldn’t it???

ProblemQuoteWell,……Maybe yes or maybe no, who knows??? This is a statement that says something like……”I am not responsible for any of the unwanted things I see in the world around me. I give my power and responsibility for creating a happy life over to someone else who I may have forgotten is here to follow the life they want to live and are doing what they believe is right.” I am not suggesting that the decisions politicians make do not impact on our way of life, of course they do. This is what we call a democratic society and without such systems in place, as a species we would not have progressed as far as we currently have. Does that mean all the decisions being made are to everyone’s liking or that things unfold in a positive, wanted way? No, there’s no guarantees with anything that has many variables with large numbers of people in different vibrational places in relation to so many subjects that are important to us.

I do not get into political debates as those that often talk about politics tend to have strong opinions that unfortunately tend to be highly negative in nature. Can you remember having conversations with such a person who highlights all the good and positive decisions the current politicians have made……Uhhhmmmm, not usually. The good created is often completed ignored in favour of all the things in their opinion that have gone wrong or will not produce the outcomes they are wanting. One in such a place is not able to see any good because the strength of their negative focus does not give them the ability to see it!!!

By focusing on all that has not worked well, and even worse having negative predictions for what has not yet unfolded helps to create the exact circumstances we are not wanting to experience, Law of Attraction says it must. No one on their own has created unwanted political circumstances, but together and collectively we are creating our experience and decisions are made that effect many people. How we feel about all things that are important to us in relation to political issues and any other subjects for that matter will have a bearing on whatever outcomes are achieved. This is the same whether we are creating specific circumstances in our own lives with those we are close with or when we are creating circumstances collectively with many we do not personally know.

When we are creating with others, which we are doing most of the time unless we live on a deserted island somewhere with no other people around us. (probably not reading this if that’s the case!!!) I like to think of our collective creative power in terms of a light that receives its charge from many small batteries. The more batteries that work together, the better the charge will be and the more likely that our light will glow brightly. In contrast to this, if many batteries are not working together our light may be much dimmer until eventually the light will cease to glow at all. It is not necessary to get everyone to agree and have the same point of view, although it does help when others are supportive and are liking whatever decisions we may be making that may be affecting them. It’s more important in which direction the collective focus is.

For example being highly focused on all the good a person we may support is doing versus being highly focused on what our opposition may be doing that we don’t like are vastly different perspectives that are vibrating at the opposite ends of the emotional scale and will bring very different results. Every person gets a say and is heard loud and clear by the powerful Law of Attraction, even if they are not interested in or do not follow politics. If we are highly interested in Education we will have a strong vibration going on in relation to this subject and our vibration will be included in decisions made about this subject, and so will every other person who has a vibration going on about it, whether positive, negative or neutral. The resulting outcome or manifestation will be a reflection of the strongest vibrations once everyone’s vibration has been taken into account and responded to by the Law of Attraction!!!

Politicians may think they have all the power but they do not. Every single person holds power to create, and we do it through the power of firstly our thoughts and what we give our creative focus too, which in turn inspires our words and actions.

So decisions can and are made that may have unwanted results, no ones denying that and sometimes its required to inspire better solutions and stronger desires for better outcomes from more people. The direction of each and every persons focus about such circumstances directly affects how things continue to unfold whether we are aware of this truth or not. By focusing all the creative power we were born with on the good we’ve dreamed of is the best chance we have to inspire changes in the direction we’re really wanting both in our personal lives and at a more global level…….And even if all you’ve dreamed of doesn’t become a collective reality, it won’t matter because you will have created it in your own life.

We are creators, and we are doing it individually and collectively. Others ultimately do not have power over us unless we believe they do. No one else can get in our heads and think our thoughts for us and that’s what creates our reality. By making the effort to focus on the best in our lives and leaving others to focus on what they want ensures we stay true to who we are and what we believe in. This must eventually draw vibrational matches in the form of people, places and circumstances and what no longer matches our vibration will eventually find its way out of our life…….

And so it will……