Giving something positive to someone else is truly giving them our love……


While pondering a sad experience someone I dearly love is going through I started thinking about all the ways we give and show our love to each other. All love begins with our positive thoughts that if maintained lead to positive words and actions which then inspires more positive thoughts…….And so the momentum continues to grow.
This is always true when we are coming from a positive good feeling vibrational place even if it is not fully received by the other party involved. It’s not possible to control how others will react to what is given because that has everything to do with where they are vibrationally and very little to do with anything else. In other words no matter what is given to a person who sits in a strongly negative place it will be very hard for them to appreciate and receive anything good that’s offered to them. This is a classic example of when a person twists something to reflect what they mostly believe in.

This is a very natural occurrence done by almost everyone to some degree depending on their general outlook on life. For example a person who tends to look at mostly positive aspects in life will be more likely to see the positive aspects of both positive and negative circumstances, whereas a person who tends to notice mostly negative aspects will be more likely to see the negative in both negative and positive circumstances.
Everything that we observe and experience in our lives comes through the filter of our own personal perspective and experience so it’s a very good idea to know how we generally feel about things and whether we are usually more positively or negatively focused. It can be quite enlightening to make a list of about 8 to 10 subjects with a mix of important and not quite as important items and honestly think about what our most common emotional response or feelings are in these circumstances. ( For example, Positive, Mostly Positive, Neutral, Slightly Negative, Mostly Negative, or Negative.) This quickly lets us know where we generally sit and is an indication of how we tend to see the world around us.

Of course there will be things we struggle to feel positive about and that’s okay. It’s not about making ourselves feel bad about where we are but more about becoming more aware of who we are mostly being right now compared to who we really are or who we want to be and giving ourselves the power to make a different choice if that’s something that’s important to us.
So the idea is we have the choice to see anything positively, to pick out the positive aspects even from strongly negative circumstances just as we have the ability to see and pick out the negative aspects of a situation.

If we do want to make changes in our lives, it can take some training if we have positioned ourselves to see and notice negative aspects as this is what will always highlight itself to us. Not because the negative aspects are more important or stronger than the positive aspects, but more because this is what we have become accustomed to seeing and focusing upon and are therefore attracting more similar feeling situations into our experience through our own attention to them. It requires awareness and conscious effort to re-orientate ourselves in a more wanted direction but can definitely be achieved with time. All it takes is the desire to live a better, more fulfilling and enjoyable life, and the knowing it can be achieved by anyone who makes the effort to do so. And let’s face it, even though our lives are great, who among us wants less love, less fulfilling relationships and less enjoyment out of our life! Probably not too many people I’m guessing……

So let’s do the best we can to see and give the best we possibly can no matter where we currently are or what is showing up. It is my knowing that this will get every single one of us to where we truly want to go, eventually……

And so it will…….

How something as simple as washing the car can teach us some great life lessons!


Flying House1


I never thought I’d write a post about washing my car, but when I was cleaning the house this morning I couldn’t stop thinking about the way I felt when I last cleaned my car so here goes……
It’s true most people are more likely to learn valuable life lessons from strongly positive or negative circumstances they experience in their life because it’s pretty hard to ignore something that’s slapped you in the face and said, “Hello, here I am, how did you like that!” And although that’s great if we are having strongly positive experiences, my point is that opportunities to learn and grow in our lives are everywhere, even in the most mundane of tasks that we may either dislike or do without much conscious thought behind it.
Let me back up a bit in time so we can get a picture of where I was, in relation to where I am now on the subject.
About 11 years ago I had a little SUV for 8 years that I absolutely loved driving. Being more of a fast driver than a slow driver and loving windy roads with music playing……. I just really loved driving her and often went on about it when talking with my husband.
Of course, my husband’s opinion was;
1. I drive too fast.
2. I drive far too fast around corners actually speeding up instead of slowing down!
3. I never washed my car which he ending up doing because he couldn’t stand it!
4. I should not let our young children eat food in the car.
5. I have the music up too loud.

(If you’re reading this Babe, I’m totally laughing right now……hehehe!!!)
Every time my husband cleaned my car which I greatly appreciated, he complained about me not doing it and said he couldn’t understand how someone who loved their car so much and talked about it as if it was an actual person rather than just a machine didn’t want to wash it themselves.
My excuses were;
1. It never looked that dirty to me because of the colour that it was.
3. I didn’t need to do it because he always did it for me.
4. It was not high on my priority list at the time.
5. It was not something I wanted to do.

Fast forward to 3 years ago and my husband chose a new car for me because I wasn’t sure what I wanted and thought I’d let him decide since he seemed far more excited about it than I was. The truth is I didn’t really want to get rid of my old car but she was getting old and was often needing work done, and then someone hit me from behind at speed pushing me into the car in front of me so all things considered it was probably inevitable we would need a new car sooner or later. You could say that the accident was literally a push in the new car direction.
My husband informed me the colour of my new car was black and it would need washing often if I wanted it to look nice. I resigned myself to the fact that I would probably need to take responsibility for keeping her clean.
Fast forward 3 years to now and I have been true to my word. Initially, I probably washed her every week due to roadworks but don’t need to do it that often now. To begin with, I didn’t love washing her but I did love how she looked afterwards so I continued. Now when I wash her I start to realise and feel the power of my positive focus and appreciation of her as I undertake this most mundane and initially unwanted task.

I love my new car as much as I loved my old car, but life happens and we get busy doing the normal business of living and sometimes our appreciation and positive feelings towards things can be diminished as we rush around getting things done instead of doing something and enjoying it as much as we can, even if it isn’t our favourite thing to do.

When we make the effort to orientate ourselves in this way on any subject in the world no matter how important or unimportant it appears to be, it isn’t long before unwanted, hard to do jobs become easier or even enjoyable to undertake.
There will always be things we feel we need to do that we don’t find very enjoyable. That’s the nature of being in a physical body in a physical world and becoming who we really are. It is possible to make these things easier to do and it comes down to our perspective on life and what our beliefs are.
We all have the ability to look at anything in any way that we choose to and whatever choices we make will directly affect the experiences we have and the outcomes we achieve. When we truly know this through observing our own lives, there simply is no real choice to make. Staying in a negative emotional place on any subject becomes an unacceptable place to stay when we know this will only make our experience more miserable, especially for things we regularly have to do. I know what I always make an effort to choose but at the end of the day, it’s each to their own……..

Well, after all that writing I think I better go and…… guessed it, wash my lovely car!!!

And so I did……..


It’s not always easy to truly support someone you love?

SnowTigerWhenever we feel someone we care about needs support whether it be emotionally, financially or in some other way, it’s always a balancing act.
During difficult times it can be tempting to try and fix someone else’s problems by doing too much for them or telling them what to do. Although this may be preferable to leaving someone to struggle on alone, it can prevent them from the learning and achieving the growth that often comes from going through difficult circumstances that will help them to cope and deal with similar situations that could happen in the future.
It’s only natural we may feel negative emotion when listening to the struggles of a loved one because naturally, we want to see them happy, but helping someone too much can come from our own desire to feel happy by seeing the person we love feeling better.
In reality, every situation is different with both people having their own personal perspective about what’s happening and we can only ever do what we feel is best at any given moment. When emotions are running high, sometimes all anyone really needs is someone to listen to how they are feeling without judgement rather than coming up with 100 ideas on how to fix the problem. I’m not saying that some well considered gentle advice may not be a good idea if we strongly feel it will help, but when someone is in turmoil they are often not in the place to be able to hear or put into action any advice and instead it may cause them to become more confused or even worse, feel like they are being judged in a negative way.
Men especially like to fix things and when faced with an emotionally unstable female counterpart often use all their brain power to come up with as many actions as they can to try and rectify the problem as quickly as possible. Although much of the time this is coming from a place of caring, things can quickly turn pear shaped if one isn’t careful.
I suppose the moral of the story is most of us can and do sort our own problems out one way or another and often all we require is someone to truly listen to us without judgment and with compassion and love.
When we truly listen without taking on our counterparts negative emotions and feeling bad ourselves by making a conscious effort to stay in a neutral or positive emotional place, this is the best support we can provide that doesn’t dictate what should be done but let’s the other feel, express and possibly let go of the negative emotions they are feeling. When we understand it is through the thoughts and emotions we feel that creates our future life experiences, we can know what a great service listening to another can provide without the need to give any advice.
You only need to observe people to know it’s difficult to find someone who can listen to others in this way as most people have so much going on in their own lives that much of their thought process is taken up with what they are currently doing and dealing with depriving them of the ability to be able to truly listen to another. If we have had the good fortune to have someone who has been in the place to truly listen to us when we’ve needed it, we can know the great difference it can make to us as we move forward. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest differences in our lives.

No one else can really solve our problems for us no matter what advice we’ve been given. It is always each individuals responsibility to decide what is best for themselves. It was never supposed to be someone else’s job to tell others how they should live their lives and what they should be doing, that’s what each person came here to decide for themselves. By just being there for someone and listening gives them the opportunity to get how they are feeling out and make space for healing and clarity to come in…….

And so it does…..

How your parents feel about you doesn’t matter…….Unless it matters to you!


Big Bear

Something worth remembering while pondering the question of how much we care about what our parents think about us is.……They are merely human beings with human beliefs, human failings and resistance just as all human beings have, although to differing degrees depending on how we’ve lived our lives and the choices we’ve made. In other words how anyone thinks or feels about anything is a reflection of the life they’ve lived and the beliefs they hold, it is not the ultimate truth of how things should be but is purely one’s own perception of how they feel the world should or shouldn’t be. This purely personal perspective comes from deciding what we want to live in our lives but has nothing to do with what someone else may be here to do or what they want to live in their lives. In fact, if you think about it…..It is highly arrogant to believe we know what any other human being has specifically come here to do and then dictate to them in a negative way when we feel they are not meeting what we think they are here for and what they should be doing……..What a joke! Many people find it difficult themselves to know why they are here and what they should be doing let alone knowing what others are exactly here to do and how and when they should be doing this or that.


Many may argue, “I’ve been here longer and I know more about life so they should follow what I say.” And to some extent, I would have to agree, especially when children are very young with little to no life experience behind them. But as they grow and learn it is so important to guide them in a positive way from a good feeling place and for them to start being the driver in their own life rather than the co-pilot that’s being told what to do all the time.

When a child’s life is micromanaged and strongly controlled usually one of two things happen. Either the child rebels with strongly negative behaviours or gives in and lets every facet of their life be controlled. Neither alternative is ideal and can incapacitate someone as they grow if they start to believe they are not good enough or are not capable to do things for themselves. If a child has come to believe such negative things about themselves this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where they unknowingly create circumstances that give them evidence of the beliefs they hold. This can take a long time to unlearn such distorted beliefs with many living a large portion of their physical life feeling this way until they become aware of who they really are and what they are really capable of.

I’m sure it would be true to say that no parent would knowingly do this to their children and that if this does happen it’s through a lack of both understanding and awareness of what we are really doing and how this life is really working.

Getting back to how our parents feel about us, if emotions of love, respect, honesty and acceptance are felt from our parents obviously this is wonderful, but on the flip side of this, if we are met with feelings of hostility, resentment, annoyance, disapproval and coldness, this is not so good. This is a type of very conditional love. A love that says I will love you if you will do this or that, otherwise I will not love you. Instead, I will resent you and I will do my best to make you feel bad so you will change your behaviour and then I can look at you and feel happy. This has everything to do with being selfish and nothing to do with unconditional love. True happiness never comes from trying to control another’s actions but through guiding in a positive manner by controlling our mind and making a constant and consistent effort to find good feeling emotions no matter what outer circumstances we may be presented with. If we are unable to give this unconditional love to our children it will be likely that we will not be able to give unconditional love to anyone including ourselves.

If we feel a lack of approval from our parents because of the choices we’ve made in our lives that for whatever reason they don’t agree with, it is completely our choice to how we choose to feel about this. We can either feel bad and blame either ourselves or our parents for not behaving in a better way, or we can acknowledge that we are an individual with our own lives to live and be happy we have been true to who we are by doing what we believed was in our best interest at any given time.

Isn’t that what everyone is doing. I know we consider those we care about when making decisions, but essentially our decisions come from our own personal perspective, not another’s. It is important to be strong and not allow our parents or anyone else’s negative feelings about us to send us crashing off into the ditch of, “I’m not good enough or poor me.” Such beliefs unconsciously filter into every part of our lives reaping unwanted results that can be difficult to trace back to a belief we may be unaware we have. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t consider changing something if we feel this is appropriate and is a good direction to take, but changing to gain approval from anyone else is not a very good idea for now we are being guided by someone externally to ourselves that can never truly know what is in our heart and the direction that is best for us to go in. This guidance comes from within each of us and is directed by the life we’ve lived so far and what we are wanting so is specific to each individual person and cannot be truly known by someone outside of us.

So let’s guide our children in the best way we know how from the best possible feeling place we can find. Strive to unconditionally love and guide them no matter how they behave. Support them and let them learn the power that they have to create their own life, to make good decisions, to know how to be happy, and to believe in who and what they are.

Teach them that you only want the best for them, that you understand it is their life, not your life they are living, and most importantly teach them that what you or anyone else thinks about them doesn’t truly matter……All that matters is how they think and feel about themselves.
That’s when we have taught them truth and strength, and from this place of empowerment and knowing, there is nothing they cannot achieve……

And so it is……

Don’t use family characteristics as an excuse for behaving badly. Who you are now being………is a choice.


Tree Roots

Has how we have been brought up and by whom had an effect on who we are now?
Yes of course it has and I don’t think many people would disagree with this statement after giving it even a small degree of thought.
As we grow and acclimatise to the environment we have been born into, this is a completely normal and necessary part of learning how to live a productive and happy life within the physical boundaries of being a human being in a physical time space reality.
That being true, it does not necessarily mean everything we’ve learnt growing up within our family unit is in alignment with who and what we are and what we are really wanting in our lives. It’s more of a jumping off place that gives us a foundation on which we can mature and evolve as we move forward with our lives. It’s only until we’ve questioned the beliefs passed by those that brought us into this world that one starts deliberately choosing and moulding their experience to their liking by continuing to follow beliefs that may be working, but more importantly by changing or altering those beliefs and behaviours that are not working for us.
Changing a belief that no longer serves us is definitely possible but does take awareness and focus to do, especially when it’s a belief that’s been held for a large portion of our lives that we’ve seen much evidence about.


When it comes to unwanted personality traits such as excessive anger, a lack of caring or warm towards others or manipulative behaviours, blaming such negative actions on family traits by saying, “we’re all like this in our family,” is just another way of saying, “I have not yet exercised the power of my mind and decided who I really want to be, instead I’ve just followed the mould I was put into by observing those around me because it’s easier than having to change and become the person I really want to be.” Deciding who we really want to be and behaving in a way that supports this to the best of our ability is what growing up really is. Many things can be accumulated over a lifetime, but who cares if we have only been a shadow of what we could have been?

At the core, all people have greatness within them, but whether they are behaving in a great way, well that’s a completely different story and comes down to each person’s individual thoughts and actions. Knowing that all possess greatness is a good start, but what does it matter if that greatness is never expressed or seen in the world?

Let your greatness shine through so everyone may see the light that is you……
For when another sees the greatness within you, they have the opportunity to see the greatness within themselves……..

And so it is……

Have humans evolved from primates?



This is a question I pondered a lot in the past without seeing that the answer was right in front of me.
I don’t think anyone needs to go into depth about whether evolution is real or not as there is so much scientific evidence proving all living forms evolve and change over time. That being true, it is definitely possible that humans evolved from primates even if that wasn’t the case. Although possible does not necessarily mean probably and it’s definitely a far cry from actual.
Fast forward a few years and it can be amazing how what once felt like a question that would never be answered became, I can’t believe I didn’t realise what was right in front of me earlier!

For hardcore religion it seemed like the mere idea of evolution went against the idea of creation when in truth, evolution is the very core of creation. Many have come to realise it’s highly unlikely that some Supreme Being beamed fully fledged human beings onto the earth’s surface and announced, “Go forth and be good and I’ll send someone soon to tell you all the rules you should live by!”
Hehehe……..Oh, I love a good Bible story.
Yep, a bit of human interpretation and exaggeration makes for a great story all right!

All I’m saying is the creative energy that pulses through all things does not send beings that have not yet evolved into a specific environment with a long list of rules they are then required to adhere too. All life forms evolve, and there is no evidence that contradicts this truth anywhere in this Universe. So we have definitely evolved to become what and who we are now as human beings, but the question is, did we evolve from primates that are currently living on this planet now?

There’s the answer right there!
When any species evolves it changes in response to that species needs which are related to adapting more efficiently to the environment and therefore creating a better life experience and improving their chances of survival. If a species is not separated by long distances and different environments the evolution of that species will be complete in the sense that half the population will not remain as they are while half evolve. All will evolve in a similar fashion as long as their proximity to each other and the environment they live in remains constant. If we evolved from any of the present day primates that are living on this planet now, well they wouldn’t be here, would they? They would be the evolved us and therefore wouldn’t still be in their previously unevolved form unless there was a complete segregation of groups.

If a species is separated through proximity to one another and the environment they live in changes, over time there will definitely be evolutionary changes to each separated group. The best example on this planet of evolution through both species isolation and extreme environmental differences are the species that are currently living on the Island of Madagascar.
This does not mean we didn’t evolve from primates or hominids that were present on the earth millions of years earlier and the fact that we are even here says that we have, but it does mean we have not evolved from the primates that are currently living on the earth now.

I suppose one could say it’s a bit of a non-event in the sense that it’s undeniable all species evolve, hence we have also evolved from earlier less evolved species of hominids. We are truly not separate or superior to other species in this regard…….even though many like to think they are. Being an animal or a plant or even a planet for that matter does not make one more or less superior than the other, it just makes all life forms different, each coming forward with specific intentions and for different purposes. I’d like to see how superior human beings would feel without a planet to live on or food to eat.

In time human beings will come to understand more fully the origins of exactly where and how they came to be as they are now……..but the truth is very few are ready at this time to know the specific details of this truth for humanity is currently still riddled with fear and untruths that give rise to hatred, competition and violence. In short, humanity needs to make an evolutionary jump to the next phase of their evolution before this will be able to be revealed and accepted by the masses without strongly negative consequences.
This is exactly what is happening as our children that many have labelled as troubled, uncontrollable, strange, different, autistic, indigo, and sensitive are coming forward in increasingly large numbers. These new beings have altered DNA which is the next evolutionary jump for human beings. As these children grow they will be drawn to others like themselves whether they are consciously aware of it or not and it will not take long for this evolutionary change to be complete……..And it will be in as little as one or two generations!!!

And so it will be…….


Causing a person to become overly dependent on us is not a kind thing to do……

FailureSuccessThe only time we should be completely dependent on another’s for our wellbeing is when we are new-born babies. And although many would say our children are often dependent on us until they leave the family home, to what extent depends entirely on how we have raised them. It is not an inherent quality of human beings or any other life forms to depend entirely on another for their wellbeing for this goes against the natural order of things, but it is possible to distort the natural progression and growth of independence by rendering one incompetent through our actions and words. Probably the most detrimental thought a child may come to believe through having everything done for them is, “I am not capable, good enough or worthy to do this or that”. Although these types of beliefs are not based in truth, if we believe them we will make them true in our own life experiences as The Law of Attraction will bring us experiences that match what we believe until somehow we manage to change those beliefs.

I am not suggesting that anyone would do this to another on purpose, especially one they dearly loved. Nonetheless, this can be the outcome when we have taken it upon ourselves to do everything for them. When we don’t take the necessary time to teach our children how to do something that in the long run will be very beneficial for them, we unknowingly deprive them of many opportunities to grow and learn skills that will help them in all areas of their lives as they move through their physical journey. There is a multitude of reasons why we may be doing this but all will come down to the same core reason being, it feels better in the moment for us to do whatever it is ourselves than to get our children’s help.

Let’s face it, it takes time and patience to teach someone something new and sometimes we can be in short supply of both. If we are not taking the time to teach our children for whatever reason, it is something within our own thought process that we may need to change if we would like to be in a position to do this.
For example, a thought that may prevent us from getting our children to help us with household chores might go something like this. “It takes twice as long when they help and it’s never done exactly how I like it and they constantly complain”. Although this may be the reality of what initially happens one must have perseverance and a knowing that things will get easier as their child grows in confidence by being given responsibility and positive feedback. I understand there may always be some resistance from our children to help but when they understand that this is not something they do whenever they feel like it, but is the responsibility and benefits of belonging and being part of a loving and caring family where every person is valued and has input. An improved thought would be something like, “It takes me longer when I initially get the kids to help me so I’ll do it when I know I’ve got the time. I won’t expect perfection because I know it’s more important to have badly folded clothes than not giving them the opportunity to help, and I’ll let them know if they complain they are only making themselves miserable and it will probably take them twice as long!!!”

I speak frankly and honestly to my children when we talk and no subject is off-limits as far as I am concerned. I tell them I would not be being a very good parent if I did everything for them and didn’t teach them how to look after themselves and be more independent individuals as they grow. They know that even though it may be a long time away, it’s likely that Mum and Dad will make their transition back to Non-Physical energy before they will and although they will have the ability to interact with us if they so desire, it will never be the same as having someone right here, right now in all their physicalness to do this or that for them. Children can be more open than older human beings because of their limited life experiences, lack of resistance and a closer connection to the Source Energy from which they originally came that puts them in a good place to know the truth when they hear it. Resistance always comes from a long period of time of focusing on unwanted circumstances and experiences.

I know many people cope when they suddenly find themselves for the first time in their lives having to do almost everything for themselves and being unprepared for it. I can only speak for myself when I say I cannot feel good about doing this to anyone much less my own children. We live in a world knowing many different skills are required to thrive and be able to create the lives we are wanting to live so it is vitally important to be doing our best to teach our children these life skills.
If we are looking at the big picture and what we generally want for our children, not just for right now but for the future as well, this will always guide us down the best path for us to take.

I believe we are trying to raise, competent, resilient, kind, loving, caring, happy human beings and the best way we do this is through the power of our own example…….

And so it is……..

What causes the yo-yo dieting effect???


There’s no use denying where we really are…….Acceptance of where we truly are is required with a focus on where we really want to be.      Paulette De-Har

Many people will understand very well through the living of their own life experiences that a lot of the time dieting doesn’t work.


Not only do people sometimes experience very sporadic results but on finishing a diet will often gain what they initially lost and then gain more on top of that, hence the term yo-yo dieting.
Many attempts at dieting ending with the above results can leave one feeling rather demoralized making the chances of succeeding at further attempts later down the road even more unlikely.

I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging right now but there’s no hiding from the truth. Putting one’s head in the sand and not acknowledging what is really happening doesn’t mean that it won’t happen and in truth sometimes guarantees it will. Knowledge is power so when we understand more about possibly how and why things are happening as they are, we are in a much better position to make an informed decision on how to move forward in a more positive direction.

There are as many different reasons why diets don’t work as there are people doing diets because each person’s thought process on the subjects of food, eating, exercise, and general health will be different based on their own personal life experiences. Nevertheless, almost all unwanted results that are achieved will be the result of having a stronger vibration made up of our thoughts and feelings that are more orientated towards what we are not wanting rather than what we are wanting.

For example;
~Focusing on the feeling of being deprived of what we really want to eat versus feeling proud we are doing something very good for our body, mind, and soul by making an effort to become more healthy.
~Focusing on feelings of being disappointed in a lack of visible results versus feeling happy with the improvement in energy, body strength and any other improvements in health no matter how small they may seem.
~Focusing on how hard it is versus the positive benefits one is achieving.

When beginning any new course of action whether it be an improved eating regime or exercise regime, work schedule or anything else, there will always be doubts that come into one’s mind as to which way to go. This is completely logical as the mind can often be resistant to change, especially if we have shied away from change and left others around us to make decisions for us. If the mind is not taken control of by the occupant of that mind it tends to run riot by spewing out negative thoughts and reasons why this or that will not work to try to keep the status quo. A mind not kept in check by moving initial negative thoughts to a more positive good feeling place can make one feel defeated before any actions have even been taken. Most people will not have the ability to take action from this place of negative contemplation as this kills any belief one might have of succeeding, and let’s face it no one wants to start something they don’t believe they can do, especially when it’s going to take a lot of effort.

Another factor that has strong influences on the results we achieve will be how big the change we are planning to make is and how difficult it will be to implement. Major changes in many different areas of our current lifestyle make it difficult to maintain and increases greatly our expectation of seeing results quickly. Expectation can be good but only when we are sitting in a strongly positive place of belief and knowing otherwise it tends to have the opposite effect especially if we have placed a strict time limit on ourselves. Both expectation and time can be positive or negative depending on where each person is sitting vibrationally on whatever they are wanting to achieve. But one thing is for sure, unrealistic expectations and strict time limits hardly ever put us in the ideal place to experience the good feeling life we are wanting.
It’s better to be flexible and open about both time and expectations as this gives us the freedom to change as we move forward without declaring we have failed because we haven’t followed an unrealistic schedule we’ve set down for ourselves.

Ok, so what happens when we initially make progress achieving some success with what we are wanting to do, in this case losing weight but then put it all back on plus some more. When we implement big changes in many different areas of our lives it can be very hard to maintain. The body may initially respond to the extra exercise or change in diet even if we aren’t liking it,  but unless our thoughts and feelings are improved and we can maintain feeling good about what we are doing apart from purely seeing physical results, they are hard to achieve. Any results gained are eventually lost as our enthusiasm for taking the actions we believe are required dwindles. Putting more on after this can only be the result of feeling stronger negative emotion about it. It’s very understandable because it never feels good to have tried something and to feel like we have not succeeded.

Although we all know what we put into our bodies and how much we move directly affects our health and well-being, none of this action makes any long-term difference if our thought is not changed and improved. Any action taken from a resistant uninspired place is always very hard that often produces poor results and doesn’t last unless great strength over our mind is attained. Great benefit can be gained from undertaking something we initially find hard if our mind is strong and we do our best to improve our thought as we go. No matter which way we look at it, it’s always the same. The body follows the mind every single time. A strong body cannot be found in a weak mind and a weak body cannot be found in a strong mind. Working only the body in exclusion to the mind is like trying to drive a car without a motor in it!!! That’s funny don’t you think…..

It is a simple formula really, but when translated into all the specific details of our lives and who we have specifically become in this physical body, it does get complicated I know.
The formula is, take the time to move our thoughts as close as we can to belief and knowing before taking any action. Once this has been achieved one will usually know or have a very good feeling about the initial actions that should be taken, this is inspired action that comes as a result of our improved vibration. Continue to improve any resistant thoughts that come up and focus on the positive aspects of what we have chosen to do and be open to making changes as we move forward.

Whatever anyone is wanting to achieve, I know for sure they can. But what I know about someone else’s experience really means nothing unless they know it themselves……..

For we are the true creators of our lives, and we create our lives through our focused thoughts and feeling, our vibration……..

And so we do…….


In the wrong place at the wrong time….Not likely!!!


Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is only a matter of perspective and depends largely on what we have consistently focused on in the past.       Paulette De-Har

I think most people understand what is meant by the phrase in the wrong place at the wrong time and it goes something like this……..If I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time this unwanted circumstance would not have happened to me. Although one has to say that is true in relation to any event we have experienced, even if we do manage to closely dodge an unwanted experience, if we are emitting a strong enough vibration about anything through our focused thoughts and feelings the attraction process will be well underway with much momentum behind it. Unless we are aware of how we are feeling and understand our positive emotions mean we are moving towards wanted experiences and our negative emotions mean we are moving towards unwanted experiences, people do not usually make much effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place. Of course, if we know this very well and have observed it in our own life experience we are far more likely to make an effort to improve how we feel, especially when having very negative emotions. When we have improved and maintained how we feel about any subject this becomes our new vibrational place that the Law of Attraction will be responding to therefore we will be attracting better circumstances into our lives.


There are many different ways we can react if we find ourselves almost or even actually experiencing unwanted circumstances but all fall into two main categories…….We will react either positively or negatively and whichever way we choose to react will be pre-paving our future experiences in relation to the subject we have just experienced.

Now it’s not easy to look directly in the face of unwanted circumstances we are currently experiencing and be positive about it, and I would go as far to say this is almost impossible for 99% of human beings. We did not come here to try to like things we really don’t like and don’t want to experience. That being said, we did come to create and experience what we are wanting and we do that through observing both our own and other people’s lives and letting what we don’t like inspire within us what we do want that we then have the choice to focus positively on or not. If we’ve made an effort to move forward from the initial negative emotion we may have had when experiencing unwanted circumstances and continue to improve how we feel by maintaining our positive focus on what we are wanting without letting doubts distract us from our positive thought process, it isn’t long until we are the beneficiaries of greatly improved circumstances in our lives.

So back to the title of this post, there is no “in the wrong place at the wrong time”. We are always in the right place at the right time whether the circumstances we experience are wanted or less than wanted. Circumstances aren’t just happening haphazardly to anyone at any moment for no particular reason but are being called to us through our focused vibrations both individually and collectively. The more aligned we are with our good feeling emotions of belief, knowledge and excitement when we are thinking and doing something, the better our manifested reality will be in the present moment and in the future. In contrast to this, the more aligned we are with our not good feeling emotions of despair and boredom when we are thinking or doing something, the greater the possibility of unwanted circumstances manifesting into our reality are.

Here is an example of how one might like to make an effort to move to a better feeling emotional place when experiencing unwanted circumstances.
At first, let the negative emotion come, let it be felt in its entirety as long as physical aggression towards others is not a possibility.
If physical or extreme verbal aggression is likely, one must immediately remove themselves from the environment and other people to a place they can safely express their negative emotions without the risk of passing it on to others and then receiving it back as the Law of Attraction responds to what has been given out!!!
If we cannot immediately improve how we are feeling, distracting ourselves with an entirely different subject may be necessary until the intense emotions we have felt subside somewhat. It is important to feel our negative emotion for if it is stifled and ignored it sits within us without being improved which is not what anyone wants when they know the Law of Attraction is still responding to it. This is often the case when individuals experience a similar scenario over and over again. Different faces, different places but basically the same experience….. This is usually the result of complete unawareness of either how we are creating our life experiences or how we are really feeling but more often than not it’s both.

A small emotional movement done often with awareness can make a very big difference to how we feel in our lives. I can’t think of anything that’s more important than paying attention to how we are feeling and making an effort to feel better as we go about the details of our lives…….

For this is how we become the creators we came here to be and how we create the lives we really want and deserve to live……

And so we do……

Why is it difficult to change my beliefs?


Boat in a Bottle
If we can only believe in what is right in front of us, improved circumstances will be very hard to come by……For it is the belief in our ability to achieve what is not here yet that brings it to us.      Paulette De-Har


Sometimes we continue to do things the way we’ve always done them simply because we’ve always done things this way and often haven’t even considered changing what we’re doing. That being true it can also be difficult to change our beliefs because the Law of Attraction continues to send us circumstances that match our dominant vibrational offering and having one or two thoughts on what we would like to change does not have enough attraction power to override a strongly held belief that’s been given much thought to overtime especially if we’ve had many firsthand personal experiences.
In other words, it takes quite a lot of time and focused effort to change our beliefs even when we know they are no longer serving us. It’s often not until we start to understand we are the creators of our lives through our focused thoughts and feelings that create our beliefs, that we emit a vibration of, that the Law of Attraction gives us more evidence of, that we can begin to change.

Of course, everything is always changing, that’s one of the principles this Universe is based upon and in and of itself cannot be changed!!! (That’s funny…….everything changing never changes!!!) If we feel like things aren’t changing, it’s because they change to similar circumstances that match the vibrational place (thoughts, feelings and beliefs) we may have held overtime that may or may not be serving what we are really wanting to create in our lives.

For example, a trait one may believe they have or will experience because many members of their family may have had or experienced is a belief that more often than not, does not serve us. It is true we have inherited much genetic material from our paternal parents. This has been the building blocks that have allowed our transition from 100% pure positive Non-Physical energy into a blending of both Non-Physical and Physical Earthbound energy. Our genetics we begin with are purely the beginning place of our physical existence, like a canvas that has not yet been painted on. As we grow and learn on our physical journey we start to paint our canvas through our thoughts and feelings that in turn continues to shape our future experiences.
What we see and are surrounded by as we grow up often becomes the beliefs we prescribe to and expect which continues to be reflected in our own experiences as we move through time. It is not a question whether a belief someone holds is true or not. No matter what our beliefs are, if we hold them strongly they will be true in our experience because the Law of Attraction will make it so.

Whether our beliefs are true or not is not a criteria or beneficial way to judge whether to hold onto a belief that is not serving us no matter how many people around us, immediate family or not are experiencing it. For there are many things out in the world that are true and happening that we do not want to bring into our own experience and just because something is true or has happened to someone else or even ourselves in the past is a poor excuse for focusing on a strongly unwanted circumstance unless we are purely focused on the improved outcome an unwanted circumstance has inspired within us.
Unfortunately not many human beings at this time are able to stay positively focused on the solution they wish to see when faced with unwanted circumstances, especially with subjects they feel very strongly about, and I totally get it…….it’s not that easy!
Better criteria to use when questioning if a belief we hold is serving us is, does this belief I hold make me feel good and will it create wanted circumstances if it comes into full fruition in my experience?
If the answer is yes then this is a belief that is worth putting a strong focus on until a pure place of knowing is achieved and maintained. If the answer is no and we have beliefs that produce negative emotions when thought about, this definitely will not produce wanted circumstances if full manifestation is achieved and it would be a good idea to think about the wanted circumstances that have been inspired within us. If we cannot reach for a better feeling place immediately we may need to direct our thoughts to a completely different better feeling subject until our resistance subsides somewhat.

Reestablishing improved beliefs does not usually happen overnight because remember, the Law of Attraction is matching us with what we are vibrating and we will need to give the improved beliefs we would like to experience much thought until it becomes the new dominant vibration we are emitting.
During the time of making an effort to change unwanted beliefs, it is quite normal to get a bit of a mixed bag as far as experience goes. In other words, the Law of Attraction is responding to all our vibrations until one becomes dominant and then our experience can start to smooth itself out as our vibration pulses strongly in our newly improved place.
I understand it’s not always the easiest thing to do but let me ask you……..What is more important than this??? Dealing with the physical manifestations that come from beliefs that are not serving us takes much time and energy and drains the physical mind and body. Actions taken in these circumstances are hard work and produce poor results at best, whereas when our improved beliefs begin to gain momentum everything starts to take care of itself without the need to deal with strongly unwanted circumstances.

Now we are living in a time of heightened change. We can make our lives better by being the change we wish for or we can make our experience somewhat difficult by refusing to change and holding to what we know is no longer serving us……..

I can’t speak for anyone else but I sure know what I prefer.

And so I do…….