It’s not always easy to truly support someone you love?

SnowTigerWhenever we feel someone we care about needs support whether it be emotionally, financially or in some other way, it’s always a balancing act.
During difficult times it can be tempting to try and fix someone else’s problems by doing too much for them or telling them what to do. Although this may be preferable to leaving someone to struggle on alone, it can prevent them from the learning and achieving the growth that often comes from going through difficult circumstances that will help them to cope and deal with similar situations that could happen in the future.
It’s only natural we may feel negative emotion when listening to the struggles of a loved one because naturally, we want to see them happy, but helping someone too much can come from our own desire to feel happy by seeing the person we love feeling better.
In reality, every situation is different with both people having their own personal perspective about what’s happening and we can only ever do what we feel is best at any given moment. When emotions are running high, sometimes all anyone really needs is someone to listen to how they are feeling without judgement rather than coming up with 100 ideas on how to fix the problem. I’m not saying that some well considered gentle advice may not be a good idea if we strongly feel it will help, but when someone is in turmoil they are often not in the place to be able to hear or put into action any advice and instead it may cause them to become more confused or even worse, feel like they are being judged in a negative way.
Men especially like to fix things and when faced with an emotionally unstable female counterpart often use all their brain power to come up with as many actions as they can to try and rectify the problem as quickly as possible. Although much of the time this is coming from a place of caring, things can quickly turn pear shaped if one isn’t careful.
I suppose the moral of the story is most of us can and do sort our own problems out one way or another and often all we require is someone to truly listen to us without judgment and with compassion and love.
When we truly listen without taking on our counterparts negative emotions and feeling bad ourselves by making a conscious effort to stay in a neutral or positive emotional place, this is the best support we can provide that doesn’t dictate what should be done but let’s the other feel, express and possibly let go of the negative emotions they are feeling. When we understand it is through the thoughts and emotions we feel that creates our future life experiences, we can know what a great service listening to another can provide without the need to give any advice.
You only need to observe people to know it’s difficult to find someone who can listen to others in this way as most people have so much going on in their own lives that much of their thought process is taken up with what they are currently doing and dealing with depriving them of the ability to be able to truly listen to another. If we have had the good fortune to have someone who has been in the place to truly listen to us when we’ve needed it, we can know the great difference it can make to us as we move forward. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest differences in our lives.

No one else can really solve our problems for us no matter what advice we’ve been given. It is always each individuals responsibility to decide what is best for themselves. It was never supposed to be someone else’s job to tell others how they should live their lives and what they should be doing, that’s what each person came here to decide for themselves. By just being there for someone and listening gives them the opportunity to get how they are feeling out and make space for healing and clarity to come in…….

And so it does…..

Working with the Law of Attraction is easy…..Isn’t it???

ArmsWideFirstly, whether we are aware or not of the powerful Universal Law known to many as the Law of Attraction, this law is responding equally to every living entity on this planet.
The Law of Attraction is responding to the vibration signals we are sending out through our focused thoughts and feelings to whatever we are giving our attention too. Awareness of this law and how it works does not need to be known or understood for it to work…..It simply is.
Just as we don’t need to know what gravity is or how it exactly works for it to effect every aspect of our lives, so it is with the Law of Attraction.

It’s true this Law is simple and means as a vibration is emitted over time with emotional intensity from a living being, that being will receive back in thoughts, feelings and eventually physical manifestations that which they have originally sent out. Our vibration is a constantly moving and changing proposition depending on exactly where we are in relation to all the subjects that are important to us but unless we are consistently making an effort to feel better in our lives, especially when unwanted circumstances turn up, most tend to easily move into their known and comfortable General Vibrational Place.

Our General Vibration Place can be explained as the emotional place we are in most of the time on many subjects and is often described with such words as pessimistic, bubbly, aggressive, assertive, gloomy, happy, calm and so forth. This doesn’t mean there won’t be a vibrational difference between different subjects that are important to us, there definitely will, but these differences won’t be too far apart. This means working on only one subject, especially a subject that is highly important to can be a slightly difficult task to start off with.

Subjects that are very important to us that have gathered resistance through negative thoughts or beliefs that have been given focused attention over time gaining power and momentum in an unwanted direction, can move quickly into a better place when resistance is released. This is a hard ask if our subject has been in a low, unwanted vibrational place for an extended period of time and we have many other subjects that are in the same vibrational vicinity.

Although I would never discourage anyone from trying to move any subject into a better feeling vibrational place, if we are just coming to know and understand the Law of Attraction and how we can start using it deliberately in our lives to produce more of what we are wanting and less of what we are not wanting it is easier to start with less important subjects that we may hold less resistance too. This is a good way to test how improving how we think and feel effects what we are attracting and feels great when we see the results of deliberately directing our thoughts into a better feeling place.

So in theory and at its base the Law of Attraction is simple…..You get back what you give out. But for any human being that’s been in their physical body for any period of time that has not been surrounded and taught by others how life really works and how we are the creators of our own experience, they are slightly empty and hollow words.

When we are not knowing that focused attention of unwanted circumstances brings more unwanted and focused attention of wanted circumstances brings more wanted circumstances, many have gathered much resistant through intent focus on problems in the hope this will elevate what they are not wanting. Although we must acknowledge the problem before we can move into the solution we’re seeking, it’s not until thoughts have moved out of the vibrational vicinity of the problem and into the vibrational vicinity of the solution that the solution will be found.

At the end of the day…..Most have created great things in their lives without a deep understanding of this powerful Law, but as we spend longer in this physical body without this knowledge it’s only natural we gather more resistance as we observe more circumstances and have more experiences we may not be wanting without knowing it’s important to refocus ourselves in the direction of what we are wanting.

I can only speak for myself when I say…..Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes it isn’t, but I don’t know anything else that’s more important and worth making an effort for than living the life we deserve and the life we came here to live!!!

And so it is….

You’re giving me such Sweet Nothing…..

FlyingFeathersThese are the lyrics of a song by Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch called Sweet Nothing.

When I first heard this song I loved it, and when I figured out what I thought the words were, I loved it even more. What I thought I was listening to was…..”You’re giving me such Sweet Energy,” and every time I heard it I was like “Wahoo,” and I sung my little heart out like there was no tomorrow!!
After a while I thought I’d better download it, and can you imagine my utter shock at learning the words were actually, “You’re giving me such Sweet Nothing,” the exact opposite meaning to what I thought it was saying.
It’s an interesting listen when this song comes on during our drive to school with the correct version singing Sweet Nothing, me singing Sweet Energy, and my young daughter singing something that sounds like Sexy Elephants…..It’s a real hoot!! (I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s got it wrong, cause Ignorance really is bliss sometimes!!)

I’m sure some are probably thinking I’m crazy right now and what does it matter??? And in the big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter, especially if you’re not into music, but I love music and it’s important to me what the lyrics are saying because I think quite deeply about what they’re trying to convey. It’s also good to know that when we tune into anything strongly, the thoughts and feelings that went into it during its creation are passed onto the listener, even if it is only temporarily.

I’m not saying everything we listen to has to be about rose petals and sunshine because we often need to acknowledge a problem or unwanted circumstances before we can move into the solution, giving us the opportunity of bringing more of what we’re wanting forward, and into our experience. All I’m saying is it’s good to be aware of what we’re listening too, and that what we’re listening too is often a reflection of where we are, and how we’re currently feeling.

Back to giving me such Sweet Nothing…..This isn’t really possible and if you listen to the lyrics in this song, you’ll hear that the recipient is getting plenty, just nothing that they’re wanting. And that’s exactly how it is when we communicate with anyone, we’re always sending out vibrational signals back and forth that lets us know how our interactions are progressing.
Even if there isn’t much verbal communication, everything we’re thinking and feeling is being communicated vibrationally, it’s not a question of whether this happens or not, but more a question of how sensitive we are to how we’re feeling and the vibrations that others are sending out.

So I suppose the question could be……Do we want to be sensitive to how we’re feeling and the vibrations others are sending out???
Absolutely yes, this is a very good idea. Remember, our emotions are communication from our Non-Physical counterpart (do you like that, our Non-Physical counterpart…..Hehehe!!) letting us know if we’re creating and moving in the direction of what we’re wanting to experience (positive emotions) or if we’re focused in a way that’s attracting what we aren’t wanting to experience. (negative emotions)
The more sensitive we are to how we’re feeling, the sooner we can make an effort to move ourselves into a better feeling vibrational place therefore reducing momentum in a direction we’re not wanting to go and increasing momentum in the direction we are wanting to go in!!! (Again I say, “Wahoo!!”)

Being sensitive to the vibrations of others can help us to know where they currently are, and whether it’s a good idea to interact with them right now, because what is good for one is good for the other, whereas what’s not so good for one is not so good for the other either.
In other words, protecting ones self from not nice interactions with others not only prevents us from creating more unwanted circumstances in our life, but also prevents the other from creating more unwanted things in their life, but probably won’t prevent them from having a not nice interaction with the next person they encounter if they’re really in the place for it….If you know what I mean!! (Momentum and the Law of Attraction!!)

But that’s their choice though, not ours!!

And so it is….

No one likes a….”Know it all!!”

Hehehe….This makes me laugh because I do often class myself as a bit of a “know it all,” but in the best possible way of course! What I mean is, I believe strongly that I will receive the answers to anything that is important to me, and I always do. Sometimes they come immediately as I bring a question into my mind and sometimes they are weaved into my experience after a little bit of focus. That’s a good example of the Law of Attraction in action! Ooooh, I like that, “The Law of Attraction in Action” that’s totally cool!!
Now I know (see, there I go again!!) this comment is usually used in a strongly negative way to mean a person “who thinks” they know more than everybody else about everything and usually likes to tell you how “right” they are, and how “wrong” you are!! This often comes from a belief where people feel they know better than others and is usually mixed with the desire to tell everyone “the error of their ways” so to speak.
And I say “Holy Moses!”….That’s the perfect way to do the exact opposite of that which you are wanting, as most people will not listen to anyone that is coming from a place of self-pronounced superiority over others, for this rarely feels good.
Now it’s true to say we all have different levels of knowledge about different things based on our own life experiences, and of course, we will know more than others sometimes, and others will know more than us at other times. That’s not the issue,  the most important factors are;
Is whoever we are considering telling something too, in the place to hear what we have to say? In other words, do we feel there is an asking for this information in some way?
If we feel the answer is no, there’s not much point in trying to convey….For it will fall on deaf ears. And even if there is a certain amount of asking, whether what we have to say will be heard or not, still depends on how much our recipient likes the information they are hearing? If the information conveyed requires some form of change and sits along way from the knowledge we currently hold,(and it usually does) it often takes time to digest and be thought about before it can be truly understood through our own life experiences and perspective.
It’s not bad or wrong to want to help someone when we feel we have information that could possibly improve another’s life experience in some way, and if it’s someone we care deeply for, its even harder not to “spill the beans all over the place.” Hehehe!! (Oops, I might have been guilty of doing that once or twice!!)
But seriously, sometimes we have to just let people be and know that they will find their way, in their own time, and in their own way, when they are ready.
To truly be able to do this, we must believe that others have the power and ability to create what they are wanting in their life, even when they aren’t currently experiencing it, and before we can believe this about others, we must first believe in it for ourselves, for it’s virtually impossible to help another to believe in themselves….When we do not believe in ourselves.

In regards to knowing it all, it’s not possible to know everything there is to know all at one time, (I know I’m stating the obvious here) but one thing is for certain, anything we want to know that we feel is important for our experience, we have access too, every single time, no exceptions ever, but we do need to get into the vibrational place of where the answers are.
And we do this by holding the subject or question in our mind with a positive focus, believing that we will receive an answer or solution to the question we have pondered, even if we do not know when, where or in what form the answer will come. If this belief is held over time with focused attention creating power and momentum, it will only be a matter of time before we receive evidence of our newly found belief in the form of physical manifestations!!
And I don’t think there are many people who wouldn’t want to receive the answers and solutions to the questions that are important to them if they believed they could receive them….
But that’s just me….

And so it is….

Through adversity, we find strength….Don’t we???

That depends on how you react when adversity happens.
And a lot of how we react depends on how much momentum we’ve got going behind the thoughts that have created such circumstances, and if we’ve been aware we’re creating our life experience through what we think and how we feel. (Our vibration)
Firstly, the idea that some supreme being is “out there somewhere” throwing curve balls at us for no other reason than, “I think this wonderful person I created seems to be having too good of a time, let’s challenge them, let’s see how much they can learn from this not nice experience!” I must say is a pretty strange idea.
If you do believe in a loving supreme being, doesn’t it sort of go against the grain to then believe they are sending you unwanted, challenging experiences for the fun of seeing how you cope??
Which is it, a loving supreme being or an angry punishing not nice supreme being? For it is one or the other for both cannot be in the one.

If unwanted circumstances are not sent by a vengeful, punishing supreme being,(and they aren’t) how do they come?
They come through focused thought that has been maintained over time that we sometimes are not aware of, for we have often become use to feeling negative emotion for so long, we’ve numbed ourselves to it because we haven’t known we have the ability to bring ourselves into a better feeling place on every and any subject that is important to us.

Instead we may have felt helpless to do anything about what we have been observing, so may be “fighting a cause,” to try to get others to change their behaviour in order for us to feel better. Anger is definitely a better place to be in, in relation to the emotional scale compared to helplessness, but long-term, anger still creates many unwanted circumstances in our life and also needs to be moved to a more positive, better feeling place.

We may have also resigned ourselves to the idea, “When I’m feeling bad about a circumstance I feel I can’t change, there’s nothing I can do about it, so I must just accept the fact I will always feel bad about this subject.” (Ohh, that’s hard for me to even say!!)
It’s okay if we’re there though, because we can move to a better feeling place if that’s what we are wanting to do, and the more we do it, the easier it gets, that’s for sure!
The only reason someone would try or make the effort to move to a better feeling place, is if, through the living of ones own life experiences, we’re coming to understand how what we’re thinking and feeling is being magnified and reflected back to us in the form of manifestations by the powerful Law of Attraction.

If we are not seeing the link between what we’re thinking and feeling and what’s manifesting in our own life experience, it’s unlikely we will do what is required to move our thoughts and emotions to a better feeling place, for it is not that easy if we have lived for some time on this earth without knowing or exercising our ability to do so.

So, adversity comes from our own focused thoughts that the Law of Attraction is responding to in-kind, with similar feeling manifestations turning up in our life experience. They are an indication of what we’re doing with our thoughts and emotions, what we’re creating. There’s no judgement by the Universe or the Law of Attraction or whatever else you believe in, it’s purely an indication of what you are creating, I like to think of it as the Universe asking me a question, “Is this what you are wanting to experience? If the answer is yes, keep going with this line of thought, if the answer is no, maybe it’s a good idea to move your thought to something that feels better?”

So I would definitely agree that through overcoming adversity, we can find immense strength, but why is this?
If we have managed to bring ourselves from a not good feeling vibrational place,(problem orientated) to a good feeling vibrational place, (solution orientated) and have maintained that focus until improved physical manifestations turn up, how do we feel?

We start to feel the POWER that we truly have, the power of who we really are, the power to take control of our own life experiences, not by trying to control others or gain power over others but by making an effort to improve the way we feel, for this is what is attracting everything into our life experience, whether we are knowing it or not…

And so our journey together continues….

It’s good to be a sympathetic friend…. Or is it???

1. A relationship between people in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other.
2. Mutual understanding between two or more people.
3. The act of sharing one’s feelings and emotions with another, especially sorrow, anguish, and pity.
4. A feeling or expression of pity or sorrow for the distress of another.
5. Compassion or commiseration.
6. A feeling of loyalty, support, or allegiance.

Many would agree with the general description of sympathy that’s listed above and that this is a good way to react when a friend comes to you with a problem they wish to discuss.
I am not saying anyone is doing anything wrong by being a sympathetic friend or shoulder to cry on, but it’s interesting to understand what is happening when these interactions are taking place from the viewpoint of Universal Law and the Law of Attraction.

The process of bringing one’s vibration (thoughts and emotions) into alignment (the same vibrational place) with another, therefore both focusing on and creating unwanted circumstances, unless the vibration is moved into a positive or solution orientated direction therefore both focusing on and creating more wanted circumstances!

Some people will speak of unwanted circumstances that have happened or are happening in their life, especially to gain sympathy from others. Why is this?
Firstly to be speaking about anything we must have given the subject plenty of thought otherwise we would not be speaking about it, especially if we are the instigator of the conversation.

If we want people to sympathise with us, this usually indicates we’re still standing in a place where we are judging others, the situation, or ourselves as “ wrong or bad” and are looking for agreement with how we are feeling, as it initially feels good and this is why people are doing it.

But what’s really happening during these interactions?
For the person speaking of the problem they are creating more power and momentum behind it, for you cannot speak of such things without adding even more focused thought to the problem, which the Law of Attraction is responding in-kind too, with more evidence in the form of thoughts, people, places, and situations turning up in your experience showing you what you are creating through the power of your own focused thoughts.

Don’t let me give you the impression you should never speak of your problems, for if you have been giving something a lot of thought it’s almost impossible to stop yourself from talking about such things. (Remember, Law of Attraction!)
Acknowledging the problem is an important initial first step, but it’s important to move as quickly as possible into the vibrational vicinity of the solution, and this is achieved by gradually making an effort to improve our thought in relation to whatever the problem is.

It’s better to acknowledge “Oops, I’m talking about something I don’t want to experience again” and take it for what it is, an indication of what you’ve got going on vibrationally rather than being mad or cross at ourselves, and although we may be creating more momentum in a direction we don’t want to go, we do have the ability at any time to start moving our thoughts in a slightly more positive direction as we become more aware of what we’re doing.

The drawback of getting others’ perspectives, opinions, judgments, or sympathy, is now we have included another’s often-negative vibration in our creative process that just increases our own negative vibration on the subject.
Depending on where our normal or general vibration place is will depend on whether we’ll seek people who will sympathise with whatever we’ve got going on. It takes some pretty good self-control even when we know what we’re doing not to speak of things that are happening in our life that we do not want to replicate and continue to experience, but we all have to start somewhere if that’s what we’re wanting.

I would say the only time it is of benefit to speak to someone about a problem we may have, is if the person we’re speaking with is solution orientated in a positive direction, knowing that the best they can hope to do, is to listen and acknowledge how the other is feeling, and hold steady to a positive good feeling vibrational place regarding whatever they are speaking to us about.
To maintain a good feeling place when people bring problems to us may be virtually impossible if we don’t believe that things can work out for them, and any words spoken from this unbelieving place to try to help will be empty and hollow with no substance behind them.

When you know there is a solution to the problem and that all have the ability to make their way, in time to the solution, even if they are not currently there now, the words we speak are more likely to be uplifting or inspiring. What people are really feeling is your knowing. Your knowing that things can work out for them, your belief that they have the ability to find the answers they want, in their own way and in their own time.
And how do we feel when we’re speaking with someone who we feel knows things are going to be all right and work out for us, and believes we will find our own way? It’s hard not to start believing in ourselves just that little bit more from being around such people, isn’t it? (Unless we’re just mad because we didn’t get agreement or sympathy? This means we’re not quite ready for the solution we are wanting yet.)
This is the true process of uplifting and positively influencing another.

So I would have to say, I am a very unsympathetic friend…. Do I love, do I care, do I listen, do I briefly acknowledge the problem, do I selfishly stay in my good feeling place regarding the problem, do I know and believe in people’s ability, and do I try to uplift?
Yes, I do my best to do all of these things, for when we know what we’re doing, why would we want to do anything else???

And so our journey together continues….