Relationships

It’s not always easy to truly support someone you love?

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SnowTigerWhenever we feel someone we care about needs support whether it be emotionally, financially or in some other way, it’s always a balancing act.
During difficult times it can be tempting to try and fix someone else’s problems by doing too much for them or telling them what to do. Although this may be preferable to leaving someone to struggle on alone, it can prevent them from the learning and achieving the growth that often comes from going through difficult circumstances that will help them to cope and deal with similar situations that could happen in the future.
It’s only natural we may feel negative emotion when listening to the struggles of a loved one because naturally, we want to see them happy, but helping someone too much can come from our own desire to feel happy by seeing the person we love feeling better.
In reality, every situation is different with both people having their own personal perspective about what’s happening and we can only ever do what we feel is best at any given moment. When emotions are running high, sometimes all anyone really needs is someone to listen to how they are feeling without judgement rather than coming up with 100 ideas on how to fix the problem. I’m not saying that some well considered gentle advice may not be a good idea if we strongly feel it will help, but when someone is in turmoil they are often not in the place to be able to hear or put into action any advice and instead it may cause them to become more confused or even worse, feel like they are being judged in a negative way.
Men especially like to fix things and when faced with an emotionally unstable female counterpart often use all their brain power to come up with as many actions as they can to try and rectify the problem as quickly as possible. Although much of the time this is coming from a place of caring, things can quickly turn pear shaped if one isn’t careful.
I suppose the moral of the story is most of us can and do sort our own problems out one way or another and often all we require is someone to truly listen to us without judgment and with compassion and love.
When we truly listen without taking on our counterparts negative emotions and feeling bad ourselves by making a conscious effort to stay in a neutral or positive emotional place, this is the best support we can provide that doesn’t dictate what should be done but let’s the other feel, express and possibly let go of the negative emotions they are feeling. When we understand it is through the thoughts and emotions we feel that creates our future life experiences, we can know what a great service listening to another can provide without the need to give any advice.
You only need to observe people to know it’s difficult to find someone who can listen to others in this way as most people have so much going on in their own lives that much of their thought process is taken up with what they are currently doing and dealing with depriving them of the ability to be able to truly listen to another. If we have had the good fortune to have someone who has been in the place to truly listen to us when we’ve needed it, we can know the great difference it can make to us as we move forward. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest differences in our lives.

No one else can really solve our problems for us no matter what advice we’ve been given. It is always each individuals responsibility to decide what is best for themselves. It was never supposed to be someone else’s job to tell others how they should live their lives and what they should be doing, that’s what each person came here to decide for themselves. By just being there for someone and listening gives them the opportunity to get how they are feeling out and make space for healing and clarity to come in…….

And so it does…..

How your parents feel about you doesn’t matter…….Unless it matters to you!

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Big Bear
“LEARNING TO TRUST OTHERS IS AN ESSENTIAL SKILL BUT IS SECONDARY TO LEARNING TO TRUST OURSELVES.” Paulette De-Har

Something worth remembering while pondering the question of how much we care about what our parents think about us is.……They are merely human beings with human beliefs, human failings and resistance just as all human beings have, although to differing degrees depending on how we’ve lived our lives and the choices we’ve made. In other words how anyone thinks or feels about anything is a reflection of the life they’ve lived and the beliefs they hold, it is not the ultimate truth of how things should be but is purely one’s own perception of how they feel the world should or shouldn’t be. This purely personal perspective comes from deciding what we want to live in our lives but has nothing to do with what someone else may be here to do or what they want to live in their lives. In fact, if you think about it…..It is highly arrogant to believe we know what any other human being has specifically come here to do and then dictate to them in a negative way when we feel they are not meeting what we think they are here for and what they should be doing……..What a joke! Many people find it difficult themselves to know why they are here and what they should be doing let alone knowing what others are exactly here to do and how and when they should be doing this or that.

 

Many may argue, “I’ve been here longer and I know more about life so they should follow what I say.” And to some extent, I would have to agree, especially when children are very young with little to no life experience behind them. But as they grow and learn it is so important to guide them in a positive way from a good feeling place and for them to start being the driver in their own life rather than the co-pilot that’s being told what to do all the time.

When a child’s life is micromanaged and strongly controlled usually one of two things happen. Either the child rebels with strongly negative behaviours or gives in and lets every facet of their life be controlled. Neither alternative is ideal and can incapacitate someone as they grow if they start to believe they are not good enough or are not capable to do things for themselves. If a child has come to believe such negative things about themselves this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where they unknowingly create circumstances that give them evidence of the beliefs they hold. This can take a long time to unlearn such distorted beliefs with many living a large portion of their physical life feeling this way until they become aware of who they really are and what they are really capable of.

I’m sure it would be true to say that no parent would knowingly do this to their children and that if this does happen it’s through a lack of both understanding and awareness of what we are really doing and how this life is really working.

Getting back to how our parents feel about us, if emotions of love, respect, honesty and acceptance are felt from our parents obviously this is wonderful, but on the flip side of this, if we are met with feelings of hostility, resentment, annoyance, disapproval and coldness, this is not so good. This is a type of very conditional love. A love that says I will love you if you will do this or that, otherwise I will not love you. Instead, I will resent you and I will do my best to make you feel bad so you will change your behaviour and then I can look at you and feel happy. This has everything to do with being selfish and nothing to do with unconditional love. True happiness never comes from trying to control another’s actions but through guiding in a positive manner by controlling our mind and making a constant and consistent effort to find good feeling emotions no matter what outer circumstances we may be presented with. If we are unable to give this unconditional love to our children it will be likely that we will not be able to give unconditional love to anyone including ourselves.

If we feel a lack of approval from our parents because of the choices we’ve made in our lives that for whatever reason they don’t agree with, it is completely our choice to how we choose to feel about this. We can either feel bad and blame either ourselves or our parents for not behaving in a better way, or we can acknowledge that we are an individual with our own lives to live and be happy we have been true to who we are by doing what we believed was in our best interest at any given time.

Isn’t that what everyone is doing. I know we consider those we care about when making decisions, but essentially our decisions come from our own personal perspective, not another’s. It is important to be strong and not allow our parents or anyone else’s negative feelings about us to send us crashing off into the ditch of, “I’m not good enough or poor me.” Such beliefs unconsciously filter into every part of our lives reaping unwanted results that can be difficult to trace back to a belief we may be unaware we have. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t consider changing something if we feel this is appropriate and is a good direction to take, but changing to gain approval from anyone else is not a very good idea for now we are being guided by someone externally to ourselves that can never truly know what is in our heart and the direction that is best for us to go in. This guidance comes from within each of us and is directed by the life we’ve lived so far and what we are wanting so is specific to each individual person and cannot be truly known by someone outside of us.

So let’s guide our children in the best way we know how from the best possible feeling place we can find. Strive to unconditionally love and guide them no matter how they behave. Support them and let them learn the power that they have to create their own life, to make good decisions, to know how to be happy, and to believe in who and what they are.

Teach them that you only want the best for them, that you understand it is their life, not your life they are living, and most importantly teach them that what you or anyone else thinks about them doesn’t truly matter……All that matters is how they think and feel about themselves.
That’s when we have taught them truth and strength, and from this place of empowerment and knowing, there is nothing they cannot achieve……

And so it is……

You’re that Special Someone that makes me want to give it!!!

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Goldfish
Only give out what you would like to receive back for this is one of the most fundamental Universal Laws.           Paulette De-Har

These are the lyrics in the song titled The Giver (Reprise) by Duke Dumont.

 

Although we never came forward into this Physical life for sameness and for everything to be exactly as we are wanting…. We did come to have different experiences and to learn how to control and deliberately focus our thoughts and feelings to create the life we’re really wanting. To feel the excitement of moving towards something and achieving a goal we have set down for ourselves. That truth may not have us jumping for joy, especially if we feel we have not received nearly as much as we’ve wanted to in our lives so far.

When dealing with others, this is always a balance of giving and taking, for this is the way of this Physical world we live in. The question is, are we aware of the thoughts and emotions we are sending out and therefore what we are receiving back vibrationally???

When we have any type of interaction with any other we are always giving and receiving something vibrationally from each other whether we are aware of it or not. Good feeling positive interactions indicate the participants are in a similar general vibrational place in regard to whatever they are talking about and are both giving out good positive thoughts and emotions to each other. Not good feeling negative interactions indicate participants are also in a similar vibrational place but are giving out negative thoughts and emotions to the other and are probably having a less than enjoyable time……Unless of course, we have come to enjoy negative, not nice communication with others??? (That’s a whole different post!!!)

Obviously most love good feeling, happy, enjoyable interactions, but even when we sit in a very good feeling General Vibrational Place most of the time, we will still come up against unwanted interactions with others for many different reasons. Whatever those reasons may be, the best action we can take when faced with someone giving or trying to pass their negative energy onto us is to resist giving it back.
This can be hard to achieve and almost goes against the Laws of the Universe of “One will receive back what one has given out,” but can be achieved when we are focused and believing in our ability to react calmly and positively or to walk away rather than engage in a way that is not consistent with who we really are.

This by no means is a reason to let people walk all over us and doesn’t mean we should not be assertive and stand up for ourselves when we feel the need too, but it is a very good idea to do it from a positive vibrational place. Whether we speak up in such circumstances will depend on what we feel is best at the time, and will usually be an action that we believe will help us to feel better.

If we do react negatively, it’s easy to give the excuse “well they deserved it,” and for sure that’s often true, but people give out this not niceness because of resistance that’s within them, resistance that has often been received from others and through their own focus on what is not wanted without knowing they have the ability to remove it by making an effort to feel better and by focusing on what they are wanting rather than focusing and barking at everything they are not wanting. When resistance in the form of negative beliefs, thoughts and feelings are not moved into better feeling places through our own deliberate effort and focus, it’s only a matter of time before the need to pass that resistance onto others happens.

This is an attempt to remove the heaviness that comes with unresolved negative energy within the mind and body but this can never truly work because even if one does feel better after doing this, we will again receive back this negative energy as the Law of Attraction sends us matching vibrational signals to what we’ve sent out in the form of people, places and events.

So the moral of the story is….

~ Resist letting others pass their negative thoughts and emotions on by not responding back in the same manner as them. If we do lash out, we have allowed our vibration and how we feel to be dictated by someone else…..And that’s not good.
~ If we feel the need to respond, take a minute if possible to get into the best feeling place we have access too at that time.
~ Walk away rather than give back more negative energy and feel great for exercising deliberate power over how you feel and how you have reacted under trying circumstances.                                                                                                    ~And above all other things…..Make an effort to think, speak and act more about what you are wanting rather than what you are not wanting, and treat others in a way you yourself would like to be treated…..And all good things must eventually follow!!!

And so they will…..

Once the seeds of truth have been planted….They cannot be removed!!!

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Portal
“THE SOUL WITHIN US ALL KNOWS TRUTH. LISTEN TO THE WISDOM THAT RESIDES WITHIN RATHER THAN THE CHAOS THAT LIVES OUTSIDE.”  Paulette De-Har

 

Just as a tree, the mighty oak came from the smallest of seeds that found itself in the optimal conditions it required to grow….So it is when a human being comes into a receptive mode through their own life experiences. This is the next logical step in any living organisms evolution.

The Soul or Non-Physical counterpart of all physical beings on this planet knows the truth when they hear it because essentially they are the truth, and is the main catalyst that is drawing and attracting truths to the physical part of who we are through our experiences. This is so we may more fully understand what our purpose is and how we are creating our lives thus giving us the opportunity to move more fully into the joyful expression of who we really are.

This is not a desire that is held only by our Non-Physical counterpart but also by the physical here and now part of who we are in the form of our own desires to everything we experience and observe. For example, every time we experience something whether it is wanted or unwanted we immediately know what would be an improved experience, and this knowing is also known and held at the same moment by our Non-Physical counterpart.

Our Non-Physical counterpart resides in and is the pure positive energy of joy, love, and truth therefore does not hold misconceptions, false beliefs or negative resistant thought patterns but knows the physical part of who we are has picked up many of these untrue perceptions, false beliefs and negative resistant thought patterns through the living of this and previous physical lives.

We are constantly guided by the Non-Physical through our emotions and what we are currently experiencing in our life depends largely on how much we have listened to the Non-Physical part of ourselves. The more we have made an effort to move into better, good feeling positive emotional places as we move through our lives the more blended the physical and Non-Physical parts of us become and the more knowing we are about all things.

The seeds of truth have always been within us and when we are confronted with Universal truths, deep down we know it. If these truths don’t align with the truths we are now living and have learnt along our physical journey it can upset the status quo causing us to turn away from that which we are unsure of in fear of the unknown.

This does not matter for once the mind and intellect have grown and we have been inspired with strong desire through our own personal experiences to understand and know more about the truth of life…..We are now in a fertile condition like the mighty oak with all that is required to bring this knowing into our full physical awareness. Once all conditions required for the successful revealing of truth are present, it’s not a matter of if this will happen, but when this will happen.

The length of time for this knowing to be completely understood depends on how willing we are to do the work of reassessing and changing beliefs we are coming to know are no longer serving us in a positive way. This can be more easily said than done as any beliefs we’ve held strongly over time will have much momentum behind them that we have literally been living and observing in our life experience. These limiting beliefs do take time and effort to move into higher vibrational places by doing our best to find the best feeling emotional place we can to whatever we are currently experiencing.

It is also very likely that we will be surrounded by many others that believe strongly in our old belief systems for we have attracted people, places and events that are in a similar vibrational place as where we have previously been. That’s the Law of Attraction in action!!! Responding to our vibration and aligning us with vibrational matches. Again this doesn’t matter, for even if we ourselves or those around us are resistant and not cooperative in this time of change, opportunities will be continuously presented to us to help us release any resistance we have until all doubt is gone and our understanding is clear as to the best and easiest way to move forward.

One that has been in the place to hear and feel the seeds of truth cannot remove this knowing, even if it was only for a fleeting moment they knew it. For those surrounding one that is coming to know the truth but may be trying to prevent that truth from being known for fear of the unknown, this is not possible and a futile attempt to control forces that will never be controlled from a place of fear or any other place for that matter.

We are all capable of the most amazing things….The seeds of this greatness lie within us all, not one among us was forgotten. There has never been a better time than now to start moving into the full knowing of all that we can be and all that we really are…..And it’s letting these seeds flourish within our being that will get us everything we are really wanting…..And more!!!

And so it is….

Do you like to gossip???

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Don't Gossip QuoteI’ve never been a person that enjoys or takes part in idle gossip about others and because of this find that almost no one brings these types of conversations to me, and even if they do, they do not receive the response they are desiring so will rarely follow-up with trying to speak to me again about such things, or anything for that matter.

For many, gossiping about others can become a way of life that is never producing anything good they are wanting in their lives. It’s completely appropriate to have our own opinions based on our own life experiences and how we’re wanting to live, but when we start to judge others harshly and make it our mission to get others onboard with negative, unkind speculation… .Well, that’s not that good.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a situation we are personally involved in or whether it’s someone we don’t know that well that we’re talking about, neither produces anything good. If this is a pastime we find ourselves enjoying, it’s a very good idea to ask ones self why we do it. From observing many people who love these sorts of interactions it’s not hard to see they enjoy being seen as one who knows what everyone else is up to and are usually the first to know about it and let everyone else know about it too!!! (How Boring!!!)

Gossiping often feels good to people because it makes them feel important, like they know something juicy that no one else knows. Passing this information on whether it’s true or not, (Who said gossiping had anything to do with the truth….What a joke!!!) Also feels great when they receive the wow reaction they were looking for and will search out as many people as possible to spread their gossip too, to keep their good feelings going. These types of people often congregate into like-minded groups that usually have a leader with all the others being followers, or more to the point spreaders of all things not nice!!!

Focusing on the not nice happenings in other people’s lives often keeps our thoughts busy so we don’t have to think or maybe deal with things in our own lives that we would do well to do some thinking about, but the worst thing about gossip is how it may effect the person being gossiped about…..Even if what is being said it true, which of course it hardly ever is, it’s very unkind and hurtful and I would say to anyone who likes to do this……STOP IT!!!

I imagine anyone reading this that has been gossiped about is smiling and agreeing whereas if you are one that likes to gossip, you might want to tell me to get lost….Hehehe!!! Fair call, no one likes to be told by someone else what to do.
For those that love to gossip, let me tell you something that I know that may possibly give you some food for thought. Even though we may feel good as we participate in these types of activities one thing is for sure, it is not possible to speak unkindly and cruelly about others without the Powerful Law of Attraction responding to the vibrations (thoughts and feelings) we are sending out and starts matching us up with like-minded people, places, and events.

What does that really mean……

~ We will encounter many situations that are gossip worthy.
~ We will come into contact with other like-minded people who like to gossip.
~ We will eventually bring, or more accurately said attract through our own focused thoughts we’re having about other people’s not nice or unwanted experiences, not nice and unwanted experiences into our own lives.

So just for effect, I’ll say it again….If you like to gossip, for gods sake make an effort to STOP IT!!!

And so we will!!!

Do you believe in a “Silver Lining???”

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Dreamy
Every situation has a Silver Lining. Whether we will experience the benefits of it depends entirely on our focus.           Paulette De-Har

Condemnation of any other never gets anybody anywhere they are wanting to go, this is for sure, even if it does temporarily feel good to do!!!

 

When we see anyone in our life doing something we don’t think is in our or their best interests, it’s virtually impossible not to feel some negative emotion about it, especially if it’s someone you are particulars close too or it’s a subject you feel particularly passionate about with strong underlying beliefs held behind it. It’s not about trying to eradicate any feelings of negative emotion we may have, this is not a very realistic goal in the world we’re living in now, it’s about knowing and exercising our own god given power to move into a better feeling place, therefore, drawing what we are wanting rather than what we are not wanting into our lives.

We choose to come into this physical world to experience and decide what we are wanting to live and to then focus positively and purely as we can until this is the dominant and strongest vibration within us on whatever is important to us. It’s never wrong to say this is how I want to live, this is what I am wanting to experience in my life, that is exactly what we came here to do, but problems can arise when we focus intently and strongly on the things we are not liking and don’t want to experience rather than focusing on what we love and are wanting to experience. If we are able to diligently focus more on what we are wanting and clear any resistant that turns-up by making an effort to move to the best feeling place we can find when faced with unwanted circumstances, it’s only a matter of time before we will see signs of our improved vibrational place in the way of thoughts, feelings, and eventually manifestations that match the dominant vibrational place we have consistently achieved. This is the Law of Attraction responding to the vibrations we emit through our focused thoughts and feelings with every living species on this planet being responded to equally. Not one sits outside of this all-encompassing powerful law, whether we are aware of it or not!!!

The strength of negative emotions we may feel when experiencing unwanted circumstances will depend greatly on how much momentum we have going in a positive direction versus how much momentum we have going in a negative direction. Whether the momentum we have created is positive or negative directly correlates with what will be predominantly turning up in our physical manifestations as the Law of Attraction responds to the thoughts and feelings, the vibrations we’re sending out.
It’s interesting to realise that when we focus negatively or don’t make an effort to move negative emotions into a better place when observing those we love doing things we don’t feel are in their or our best interests, we are adding power and momentum to what we are not wanting to experience and making it more unlikely that we will the recipient of what we are wanting. This is how we help to inspire the exact circumstances or behaviours we are not wanting out of others!!!

The truth is no matter what we do, we cannot truly control any other in our experience. If we believe we have power over others, this is an illusion, for one must freely give their power away to another, it is always a two-way street. We are all free to choose that which we do our actions, that which we say our words, and that which we think and feel no matter what someone else thinks, says or does about it. The best we can hope to do is to make peace with what others around us are doing especially those we love and care about, for this gives us the best possibility of experiencing and inspiring more of what we are wanting and less of what we are not wanting and lets the other know…..
Your way may not be the way that I would choose, but I know you came here to live your life the way you want to live not how someone else thinks you should live and I trust that you are doing the best that you can and I will do the best that I can to make my experience better by feeling good and focusing on the things I’m wanting to experience and all that is already wonderful in my life.

If we don’t feel we are able to feel better about what someone close to us is doing because it goes against something we strongly believe, a belief we do not wish to change because we believe it serves us very well, or maybe it doesn’t serve us well, we’re just not prepared to make the effort to change, because lets face it, long-held beliefs are not that easy to change even if they aren’t serving us very well. If judgement, resentment, and blame are allowed to grow, this often accumulates until the dissolution of the relationship happens. Although this is often difficult, it is a very good opportunity to release resistance and move to an even better feeling place that will attract even more wanted circumstances into our future experiences…

Yes……there’s a silver lining to every cloud, no matter how black that cloud may be, but we do have to believe it’s there to find it and to make it our daily work to move ourselves into the close vicinity of it by focusing on all the good that is already in our lives!!!

And so it is….

Do you remember it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow???

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Valentines Day Quote
This is something I asked my husband as I drove home today, just interested to know if he was even aware it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow!!!
That probably gives you an idea of how important it is to him….Hehehe!!!
Anyway, his answer was “Babe we don’t need to celebrate Valentine’s Day, every day is like Valentine’s Day to us!!!”
And I say, what a greaser…..But it’s hard not to smile at that well-prepared answer don’t you think???

I totally get it why heaps of people aren’t that happy to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’m sure I could make a long list of all the reasons why people don’t like it. But I won’t since this is supposed to be a blog focused on the positive side of life, not all the negative thoughts and beliefs we hold that may be stopping us from experiencing the fullness and richness of what this life has to offer us!!!(Opps, I do do that sometimes….Can’t solve a problem when we don’t know what the problem is, right???)

Although I understand the objections many have to celebrating such days, we can over think things, because after all sometimes it’s just nice to do something for someone you love without making a big issue out of it??? If we don’t feel like we can get ourselves into a good feeling place about doing something nice for our partner, we are better off to do nothing. There’s nothing worse than receiving something from someone that’s resentful about giving it!!!

Sometimes it’s an excuse for not wanting to get off our butts and do something out of our normal, often boring routine……Just another job on a long list of stuff we don’t want to do.
And I know it often doesn’t feel good to give to someone when there’s a very high expectation that we should, for appreciation is often low in these circumstances, but the way I see it is…. Something given to another with a pure and loving heart is worth so much.

It’s not about money or feeling we have to do something for someone out of obligation. It’s about love….Pure and simple love….

And so it is….

Turning away from what we don’t like…..Is a temporary solution!!!

The Purest Soul1 Comment

 

Reflections
It is not possible to deny where we really are, for it will be reflected back to us in many different circumstances and situations until acceptance and awareness are achieved.          Paulette De-Har

It’s definitely a good idea to avoid focusing on circumstances we don’t like and aren’t wanting to experience in our lives by making an effort to turn our attention to what we are wanting rather than what we are not wanting. But it’s important to know this is more of a temporary solution, especially on subjects that are very important to us. For important subjects that we’re experiencing strong negative emotion too, it’s likely we’ll also be dealing with many situations our thoughts have attracted as the Law of Attraction responds to our strongly held emotional place with all kinds of manifestations that are a match to the dominant feelings within us.

 

This can make it difficult to look the other way so to speak, which is part of the reason why whatever turned-up has turned up!!! It’s a message to us from the Universe saying…..“This is the direction of your focused thoughts, this is what you are creating in your life, would you like more???” If our answer is no, a change in the direction of our thought is required. If our answer is yes and we are liking what’s turning-up, continuing our already positive focus will create more experiences we’re wanting. Even slight improvements in a thought that are maintained and held onto over time can produce greatly improved manifestations in our lives.

Remember, consistency is the name of the game. It’s not enough to have one improved thought and leave it at that. All things we’re wanting to bring forward into our experience need positive focus that’s been thought on long enough to achieve power and momentum. Once this momentum of thought is achieved it requires less and less effort to maintain our improved vibrational place as this will be where we now naturally are.

If we simply turn away from unwanted manifestations and ignore our negative emotions without making the effort to move them into a better feeling vibrational place, we have prevented adding power to our already unwanted vibration by observing and feeling stronger negative emotions, but without improving how we feel, we’re unlikely to attract improved circumstances on this subject.
This is often the case when experiencing similar unwanted circumstances over and over again. Different places, different faces, but similar experiences. Similar circumstances turn-up when the vibrations that caused this or that to be attracted have not changed much. That’s good news if we’re experiencing wanted circumstances in our lives, who would want to change that??? But if what we’re experiencing isn’t what we’re wanting in our lives, it’s a good idea to start trying to improve our thought somewhat, even if we only make a little vibrational movement each time we bring these thoughts into our mind.

I know it’s not the easiest thing in the world to improve our thoughts on subjects we’ve felt a certain way about for a long time. Especially when we’ve received plenty of evidence to support our long-held beliefs, but once we’re starting to understand how we’re creating our life experiences and that all we’re experiencing is attracted to us through our own focused thoughts that the Law of Attraction is responding and adding power too, I don’t really see what other choices there are???

I can only speak for myself when I say, I know what I do my best to choose every single time…..

And so I do….

Is being “Right” more important to me than being Happy???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

SoulFireQuote
This is my reply to a comment from a previous post about being HAPPY and here’s the link if you’d like to read it, but I like to think this stands on its own whether or not you read the previous post.

Yes…..Most people love the feeling of being right!!! What we believe is right depends on our beliefs, experiences, and level of knowing….So what is right in one person’s mind is not right in another’s, everything is open to interpretation based on where we are vibrationally. That’s why it’s a futile endeavour to spend time trying to convince others of our rightness and their wrongness, for what is true and right for each of us will depend on our focus which has attracted our life experiences becoming the truth we are living, even if it isn’t the ultimate truth.

It’s also important to know we’ll be attracting many unwanted circumstances by arguing our point as the Law of Attraction responds to all the vibrations we’re sending out during these and all other types of interactions bringing us more of the same!!! It’s a good idea to ask oneself if we’re liking the current conversation that’s taking place, and if we would like similar interactions that feel the same in the future???

In relation to others saying “I just want them to be happy,” what people often mean is, “This person plays a pivotal part in my life, and although I do want them to be happy, when they aren’t I find it very difficult to maintain a good feeling vibrational place….So in order for me to feel happy I need to see them happy, and if they really cared about me they would do this so I can once again be happy as I see them happy.”
And I say…..Holy Moses, not much kills good relationships faster than expecting another to provide what we all know deep down we should be providing for ourselves!!
I know this isn’t always easy to do….Especially with the ones that are so dear to us, but being “selfish” and making how we feel our top priority, is more unselfish than many may think. By looking after and making an effort to feel as good as we can while those around us are not, now we have so much good to offer them. And sometimes it’s watching another we love and respect that’s able to feel good in the face of unwanted circumstances that gives us the inspiration to do the same….
But even if it doesn’t at lest we know we haven’t wallowed around in the unwanted mud with them creating unwanted circumstances for ourselves, and helping to add power and momentum to their unwanted situation!!!

Some may call that selfish….I call it “KNOWING!!!”

And so it is….

What’s more important than being HAPPY???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

Reflection
That’s a slightly misleading title, because no matter what we’re doing, we are doing what we feel will achieve or at least get us the closest to the results we’re wanting. A more descriptive question would be……What circumstances do I require or need to achieve before I will allow myself to be happy???

There are many conditions we may or may not be aware of that we’ve put in place to be met before allowing ourselves to be happy such as;

~ It’s more important to be right.
~ Those I talk with must understand what I’m saying.
~ Those I talk with must agree with my point of view.
~ Others I observe must behave in an appropriate way.
~ Things must work out how I am wanting them too.

I can imagine what some people may be thinking….Who doesn’t like it when others understand them and behave in ways we find appropriate. And is there a person living that doesn’t love it when circumstances unfold how they’re wanting???
Of course not, we all love it when we have these types of experiences, because lets face it, it feels so good!!! This is also evidence of the positive vibrational place we have maintained overtime with emotional intensity that the Law of Attraction has responded in-kind too, and when we’re knowing this….That is an awesome feeling that is beyond Physical description!!!

So we could say, yes I’m happy once I’ve proved myself as right, (and others as wrong) are understood or agreed with, and when others behave appropriately. But anyone that’s lived here for some time knows that we’ll always come up against the opposite of the things we’re wanting to experience at some point or another in our life. It isn’t whether we’ll observe or experience unwanted situations in our life, that’s the nature of being in this Physical world. What is important is what we do and how we react when we’re faced with unwanted circumstances and challenges.

It’s all about what we focus on at these times, and what we continue to focus on after an experience has happened that determines what we’re attracting into our future experience. If we can focus on the positives in any situation, this ensures we’re creating the best possible future experiences for ourselves and moving through any resistance we may have to what’s currently happening. This is a very good plan of action, but are empty and hollow words to those that have been focused on all they find to be wrong and unwanted in the world and their experience……

If there are circumstances we’ve been strongly negatively focused on for an extended period of time, it’s does take some time and effort to move our thoughts into a better feeling place…..But once we’re noticing the link between what we’re thinking and feeling and what’s turning up in our life experience, I don’t know anything else that’s worth making more of an effort for, do you???

When we’re knowing we create our own life experiences through our focused thoughts and feelings,(our vibration) we start to realise there are very few circumstances that are worth feeling strong negative emotion about for any length of time. I’m not suggesting we should pretend we like things we clearly do not…. No, that falls into the category of denial, and that rarely brings anything we’re wanting into our lives.
If we only allow ourselves happiness when circumstances unfold exactly as were wanting, we set ourselves up in a situation where we may be unhappy for much of the time. This attracts vibrational matches in the form of thoughts, people, places and events depending on the amount of time we’ve spent being unhappy, and the strength of our negative emotion.

It’s an impossible task to try to control or manipulate others into doing what we want them to do so we can be happy and usually ends in all parties involved being miserable. And I’m sure most have realised, everyone else that’s living hasn’t actually come to make sure everything unfolds in our lives the way we want it too, they’ve come here to create what they’re wanting in their lives, just as we have.

So the moral of the story is….

~ Appreciate experiences and interactions we have with others when things are unfolding as we want them too.
~ Try to see the benefit that comes from all experiences, especially unwanted circumstances, this quickly moves us into a better vibration place about it and releases resistance.
~ Acknowledge any negative emotions we have to past or present experiences and make an effort to move our thoughts into a better feeling place, even if it’s only slightly.
~ Avoid relying on others to provide our happiness….It’s not their job, it’s ours.
~ Wherever we are and whatever we’re doing, even if it’s less that what we’re exactly wanting, is moving us ever so much closer to all that we are, and all we are wanting….

And that has to be a good thing….Don’t you think???

And so our journey continues…..