Parenting

How your parents feel about you doesn’t matter…….Unless it matters to you!

The Purest SoulLeave a comment

 

Big Bear
“LEARNING TO TRUST OTHERS IS AN ESSENTIAL SKILL BUT IS SECONDARY TO LEARNING TO TRUST OURSELVES.” Paulette De-Har

Something worth remembering while pondering the question of how much we care about what our parents think about us is.……They are merely human beings with human beliefs, human failings and resistance just as all human beings have, although to differing degrees depending on how we’ve lived our lives and the choices we’ve made. In other words how anyone thinks or feels about anything is a reflection of the life they’ve lived and the beliefs they hold, it is not the ultimate truth of how things should be but is purely one’s own perception of how they feel the world should or shouldn’t be. This purely personal perspective comes from deciding what we want to live in our lives but has nothing to do with what someone else may be here to do or what they want to live in their lives. In fact, if you think about it…..It is highly arrogant to believe we know what any other human being has specifically come here to do and then dictate to them in a negative way when we feel they are not meeting what we think they are here for and what they should be doing……..What a joke! Many people find it difficult themselves to know why they are here and what they should be doing let alone knowing what others are exactly here to do and how and when they should be doing this or that.

 

Many may argue, “I’ve been here longer and I know more about life so they should follow what I say.” And to some extent, I would have to agree, especially when children are very young with little to no life experience behind them. But as they grow and learn it is so important to guide them in a positive way from a good feeling place and for them to start being the driver in their own life rather than the co-pilot that’s being told what to do all the time.

When a child’s life is micromanaged and strongly controlled usually one of two things happen. Either the child rebels with strongly negative behaviours or gives in and lets every facet of their life be controlled. Neither alternative is ideal and can incapacitate someone as they grow if they start to believe they are not good enough or are not capable to do things for themselves. If a child has come to believe such negative things about themselves this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where they unknowingly create circumstances that give them evidence of the beliefs they hold. This can take a long time to unlearn such distorted beliefs with many living a large portion of their physical life feeling this way until they become aware of who they really are and what they are really capable of.

I’m sure it would be true to say that no parent would knowingly do this to their children and that if this does happen it’s through a lack of both understanding and awareness of what we are really doing and how this life is really working.

Getting back to how our parents feel about us, if emotions of love, respect, honesty and acceptance are felt from our parents obviously this is wonderful, but on the flip side of this, if we are met with feelings of hostility, resentment, annoyance, disapproval and coldness, this is not so good. This is a type of very conditional love. A love that says I will love you if you will do this or that, otherwise I will not love you. Instead, I will resent you and I will do my best to make you feel bad so you will change your behaviour and then I can look at you and feel happy. This has everything to do with being selfish and nothing to do with unconditional love. True happiness never comes from trying to control another’s actions but through guiding in a positive manner by controlling our mind and making a constant and consistent effort to find good feeling emotions no matter what outer circumstances we may be presented with. If we are unable to give this unconditional love to our children it will be likely that we will not be able to give unconditional love to anyone including ourselves.

If we feel a lack of approval from our parents because of the choices we’ve made in our lives that for whatever reason they don’t agree with, it is completely our choice to how we choose to feel about this. We can either feel bad and blame either ourselves or our parents for not behaving in a better way, or we can acknowledge that we are an individual with our own lives to live and be happy we have been true to who we are by doing what we believed was in our best interest at any given time.

Isn’t that what everyone is doing. I know we consider those we care about when making decisions, but essentially our decisions come from our own personal perspective, not another’s. It is important to be strong and not allow our parents or anyone else’s negative feelings about us to send us crashing off into the ditch of, “I’m not good enough or poor me.” Such beliefs unconsciously filter into every part of our lives reaping unwanted results that can be difficult to trace back to a belief we may be unaware we have. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t consider changing something if we feel this is appropriate and is a good direction to take, but changing to gain approval from anyone else is not a very good idea for now we are being guided by someone externally to ourselves that can never truly know what is in our heart and the direction that is best for us to go in. This guidance comes from within each of us and is directed by the life we’ve lived so far and what we are wanting so is specific to each individual person and cannot be truly known by someone outside of us.

So let’s guide our children in the best way we know how from the best possible feeling place we can find. Strive to unconditionally love and guide them no matter how they behave. Support them and let them learn the power that they have to create their own life, to make good decisions, to know how to be happy, and to believe in who and what they are.

Teach them that you only want the best for them, that you understand it is their life, not your life they are living, and most importantly teach them that what you or anyone else thinks about them doesn’t truly matter……All that matters is how they think and feel about themselves.
That’s when we have taught them truth and strength, and from this place of empowerment and knowing, there is nothing they cannot achieve……

And so it is……

Causing a person to become overly dependent on us is not a kind thing to do……

The Purest Soul2 Comments

FailureSuccessThe only time we should be completely dependent on another’s for our wellbeing is when we are new-born babies. And although many would say our children are often dependent on us until they leave the family home, to what extent depends entirely on how we have raised them. It is not an inherent quality of human beings or any other life forms to depend entirely on another for their wellbeing for this goes against the natural order of things, but it is possible to distort the natural progression and growth of independence by rendering one incompetent through our actions and words. Probably the most detrimental thought a child may come to believe through having everything done for them is, “I am not capable, good enough or worthy to do this or that”. Although these types of beliefs are not based in truth, if we believe them we will make them true in our own life experiences as The Law of Attraction will bring us experiences that match what we believe until somehow we manage to change those beliefs.

I am not suggesting that anyone would do this to another on purpose, especially one they dearly loved. Nonetheless, this can be the outcome when we have taken it upon ourselves to do everything for them. When we don’t take the necessary time to teach our children how to do something that in the long run will be very beneficial for them, we unknowingly deprive them of many opportunities to grow and learn skills that will help them in all areas of their lives as they move through their physical journey. There is a multitude of reasons why we may be doing this but all will come down to the same core reason being, it feels better in the moment for us to do whatever it is ourselves than to get our children’s help.

Let’s face it, it takes time and patience to teach someone something new and sometimes we can be in short supply of both. If we are not taking the time to teach our children for whatever reason, it is something within our own thought process that we may need to change if we would like to be in a position to do this.
For example, a thought that may prevent us from getting our children to help us with household chores might go something like this. “It takes twice as long when they help and it’s never done exactly how I like it and they constantly complain”. Although this may be the reality of what initially happens one must have perseverance and a knowing that things will get easier as their child grows in confidence by being given responsibility and positive feedback. I understand there may always be some resistance from our children to help but when they understand that this is not something they do whenever they feel like it, but is the responsibility and benefits of belonging and being part of a loving and caring family where every person is valued and has input. An improved thought would be something like, “It takes me longer when I initially get the kids to help me so I’ll do it when I know I’ve got the time. I won’t expect perfection because I know it’s more important to have badly folded clothes than not giving them the opportunity to help, and I’ll let them know if they complain they are only making themselves miserable and it will probably take them twice as long!!!”

I speak frankly and honestly to my children when we talk and no subject is off-limits as far as I am concerned. I tell them I would not be being a very good parent if I did everything for them and didn’t teach them how to look after themselves and be more independent individuals as they grow. They know that even though it may be a long time away, it’s likely that Mum and Dad will make their transition back to Non-Physical energy before they will and although they will have the ability to interact with us if they so desire, it will never be the same as having someone right here, right now in all their physicalness to do this or that for them. Children can be more open than older human beings because of their limited life experiences, lack of resistance and a closer connection to the Source Energy from which they originally came that puts them in a good place to know the truth when they hear it. Resistance always comes from a long period of time of focusing on unwanted circumstances and experiences.

I know many people cope when they suddenly find themselves for the first time in their lives having to do almost everything for themselves and being unprepared for it. I can only speak for myself when I say I cannot feel good about doing this to anyone much less my own children. We live in a world knowing many different skills are required to thrive and be able to create the lives we are wanting to live so it is vitally important to be doing our best to teach our children these life skills.
If we are looking at the big picture and what we generally want for our children, not just for right now but for the future as well, this will always guide us down the best path for us to take.

I believe we are trying to raise, competent, resilient, kind, loving, caring, happy human beings and the best way we do this is through the power of our own example…….

And so it is……..

The “Best Decision”….Is not always the easiest decision that gives us the quickest gratification!!!

The Purest SoulLeave a comment

SaharaBird
Although I have used the description “best decision” in the title, in reality there is no decision that is ultimately the best decision to make. There definitely are choices that will reap better results than others, but any decisions we firmly make that we’ve put all our positive thoughts and feelings behind are good decisions.

It’s true that not many people like not feeling good, actually I don’t think I know anyone who likes not feeling good, that being said, sometimes the need to feel instant gratification or to remove or change circumstances that make us feel uncomfortable immediately, can sometimes cause us to make a choice that short-term may help us to feel better, but long-term does not move anyone in a direction we’re wanting to go in.

This can be especially true when dealing with the little people we may have in our lives, our children. They come forward from Non-Physical with a stronger knowing of who they are than any previous generations, and are not easily guided away from that knowing by others that have been here longer than they have and have mostly forgotten who they really are.

Although coming froward with this strong knowing is very good news….For many it does require some different parenting styles to be learned if we’re wanting to be parents that guide and inspire the best out of our children. From harsh control and discipline, to letting them do whatever they like as long as they’re happy, and we’re happy as we see them happy approach, the middle ground between these two extremes is a good place to aim for.

I know we love our children very much, and it makes us feel very happy to see them happy, and this is a great thing, but when we base our decisions on what will make them the happiest in the short-term so we don’t have to deal with the often unpredictable (or sometimes very predictable!!) extreme behaviours that can follow not getting what they want or from experiencing the natural consequences of their choices, this is not usually in their best interests and does not help them to understand how this Universe is really working, and well, that’s not ideal. (I’ve said that very softly!!)

It’s true, we can do things and make decisions that prevent them from experiencing the full consequences of their actions. The problem with doing this is it makes it hard for them to see the connections between how the choices they make bring semi-predictable consequences which can cause them to start making decisions without the knowledge of what could possibly happen…..Which is ok when we’re always there to make everything alright, (Well, no it isn’t ok, but I think you probably know what I mean) but we must at some level accept that they will eventually be without someone who is prepared to dedicate their life to making sure everything runs smoothly for them. Someone that will run around and try to make their experience better by trying to prevent them experiencing the consequences from the choices they’ve made!! No, they will not find another who will do this for them….

Of course no one wants their children to experience strongly unwanted circumstances, and I think most of us would try to lessen this happening if we knew such circumstances were coming, but that’s exactly why it’s important to let them experience the small unwanted consequences of their actions, because once they’re aware of the link between what they’re choosing and what’s turning up, and it becomes a strong knowing and awareness they have based on their own first hand experiences….Now they are so well prepared with what they need to know to be on their own and create what they’re wanting in their own lives!!

And I believe it would be very hard to find a parent that didn’t want that for their children….But that’s just me….

And so it is….

I’ve sacrificed so much for this…….Uh oh!!

The Purest SoulLeave a comment

Sunset
If we feel like we’ve given up a lot for anything, whether it be our career, family, children, or friends, this can set us up for disappointment if the effort we feel we’ve put into such things is not reciprocated.

I often hear people say they do many things for their children and feel like their efforts are not appreciated.
And I say, if course our efforts are not appreciated….Children in these days are coming forward with a much stronger understanding of who they are, and who others are. They’re understanding whatever someone does is their choice and not so much about them, even if we are trying to tell them what we’re doing is only for their benefit. If we are feeling resentful about the things we are choosing to do for our children…..this is not ideal.

I know we all have to do thing’s sometimes that we’d rather not,(like going to children’s birthday parties!!!) And yes, maybe we’re doing it because we feel we should, but it’s important to make an effort to move into a better feeling place regarding whatever we’ve chosen to do otherwise it does leave one feeling quite resentful if appreciation for the unwanted effort we’ve made isn’t reciprocated.

From the viewpoint of Law of Attraction, if we are receiving back that which we are giving out through our vibration, and we are, when we feel annoyed or under appreciated, if we give these thoughts and actions plenty of air time and focus through our thought process the likelihood of receiving back appreciation for our efforts are not great. The more actions we take and feel annoyed, under appreciated, or begrudgingly do without improving our thought, the greater the possibility of attracting more circumstances where we may feel under appreciated!!

I know that may sound a bit, well…..annoying, but the truth is, even if we are doing something for someone else’s benefit, we must admit at some level, we are also doing it for ourselves, because we feel it’s the best choice we can make at that time. (even if it is a choice better two unwanted circumstances) It’s about taking responsibility for the choices we make and feeling as good as we can about them, rather than blaming others for “all that we have to do for them!”

Of course it’s wonderful when others appreciate what we do, it would be pretty unusual if we didn’t like to be appreciated, but it must be enough that it’s what we want to do, that it’s something we believe is good or of benefit to ourselves first, and then others.

Trying to make anyone feel guilty by telling them all the things we are doing “just for them,” is not usually a good idea and often encourages a greater lack of appreciation…..unless of course, we bring very unwanted consequences upon them.
Learning to appreciate that which we currently have rather than focusing on that which we do not yet have is a very important part of the creation process, for it’s our positive focus on all that we already have that is working well and good that is the easiest path to all we’re wanting in our future experience!! (Remember, Law of Attraction)

Appreciation is a difficult concept to teach to our children because they believe it’s their natural birthright to have anything they are wanting, and they aren’t too far off the mark with that knowing. I encourage this belief in my children (yes, I really do!!) and explain to them they also need to foster an attitude of appreciation for all they already have that is good rather than focusing on what they don’t immediately get. We also talk about the Law of Attraction and how we’re pre-paving our future experiences by how we are feeling now, and that making an effort to feel as good as we possibly can, especially in the face of unwanted circumstances, is the best we can currently do!
The best way we can hope to teach our children how to appreciate what they currently have is by being an example of appreciation ourselves. I’m not talking about over praising every tiny thing in an out of proportion general way, but more focusing on the good that we see all around us in very genuine and specific ways.

It’s not possible to fake true appreciation, and when we are looking for things to appreciate, it’s not long before the Universe delivers us circumstances that start matching that dominant vibration within us, and that is what one might say is…. “Choice”!!

And so it is….

Choose your battles….And let the rest slide!!

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Writing
Whoever originally said this definitely knew what they were talking about, and although this is good advice in relation to all the relationships we’re involved in, it’s especially relevant to the relationships we have with the younger members of our society, our beautiful children!

I like to rephrase as follows;

Decide what is really important to you….That which you are not prepared to compromise on, and stand strongly and positively by it.
In other words, be prepared to stand up strongly for those things that are at the top of our list of priorities, that we believe are the most important aspects we wish our children and others we have relationships with to know and understand. What we feel is necessary to live a happy and healthy life….And let the rest slide.
In other words, don’t make every little thing a big issue, choose what’s most important, and chill about the rest!!

When we stand strongly and positively on what is important to us, this sends a very clear message of what we find to be acceptable and unacceptable. This doesn’t mean that everyone is going to act in a way we find to be acceptable, but at least there’s no ambiguity, and this is especially important when dealing with children. The clearer and stronger we are with what we are expecting, with the ability to communicate it in a positive way, the better the chances are that our point of view will be listened to, thought about, and possibly acted upon?

We should always be open to discussion and negotiation whenever asking our children to carry out something we have requested, especially when questioned on why we’ve come to the decisions we have. Just saying, “Because I said so,” is a very unacceptable answer to give to anyone that is questioning us on why they should carry out something we have asked them to do. Our children are not robots that have come here purely to be told what to do by their parents, no matter how well-meaning parents are, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not many of our young ones are prepared to follow anyone blindly anymore!!

No one learns anything by being told what to do and following instructions blindly….Well that’s not true….Much is learnt by doing such things….
Learning to follow what everyone else wants us to do erodes our self-confidence in ourselves and doesn’t prepare us very well for when we have to go out on our own and make decisions for ourselves.

So being strong and not following what others are saying blindly is a very good quality to have, although it can make dealing with our children a bit more challenging. We should have good reasons why we are requiring them to do what we are wanting, and we should be prepared to take the time to explain how we have come to those decisions. Rules just for the sake of obedience and conformity are crazy and makes life unbearable for all concerned.

I know it can be a difficult to know what to do sometimes, especially if we have gained everyone else’s opinion on what they think we should or should not be doing, and yes, we can often get good ideas from others, but when everyone’s had their say, we must make our own decision on what we believe is best for our specific circumstances, no one else is in a better position than us to know this.
Once we have come to our decision, the most important thing we can do is put all our positive focused thought behind the decisions we’ve made. Do not split your energy by second guessing yourself all the time by asking “What if, I don’t know, maybe?”
When you split your energy in this way, you achieve mixed results because the Law of Attraction has responded to your mixed up unsure vibration with similar results.

It’s not possible to make the “Wrong decision” because any decision that’s given focused positive thought for some time, will reap good results, and I say “That is so Awesome!!”

And so it is….

I’ve been waiting for acceptance & approval from my parents for so long….

The Purest Soul1 Comment

KnowThySelf
Unfortunately many people are not allowing themselves to really feel happy because they are waiting for one or both of their parents unconditional love and acceptance.
And of course it’s wonderful when we feel we have their love and approval, but if this is not the case, it’s often because each generation, in their own right is different to previous generations, (that’s what they call progress I think!!) and for many people who are not very accepting of change or are wishing others were different to what they really are, (or maybe more obedient than they are) this can be difficult for them to accept and be happy about.
If you do not feel like you have received the love, acceptance or approval you thought your parents should have given you as you were growing up (and possibly presently too?) The most important thing to know is….Their inability to love unconditionally is far more about them than it is about you!

If our parents were not feeling good about something we were or were not doing, it was their inability or not knowing how to move themselves into a better feeling vibrational place that caused them to look on us with negative emotions or judgements, rather than us being wrong. Of course we did things that may not have been ideal, but that is the purpose they were there, to teach and guide us in a “positive way.”
It’s a very difficult task to guide another positively when we are not in a very good feeling vibrational place ourselves, but add to that the belief that others must behave in specific ways before we allow ourselves to be happy….And that’s a recipe for….Well, being very controlling and unhappy.
If we are requiring others to behave in ways we find acceptable and make us feel good, we give others the job of making us happy rather than taking the power we’ve had since the day we made our way into this physical body (and before we came forward too!!) by using our mind to bring ourselves into a good feeling vibrational place that is not so reliant on what is happening around us or what others are doing.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but everyone here is doing their best to make themselves happy, which doesn’t leave a lot to time for making everyone else happy which is the way it should be, for you cannot know exactly what will make others happy, that’s their job to figure that out and move towards it.
For those that are trying every which way to make others happy, they will eventually find it an impossible task to achieve consistently.

This being true, not much good comes from holding onto resentment and negative feelings about the way our parents did or did not raise us, for no matter what they did, most did the best that they could based on what they knew at that time, just as we are doing our best to raise our children now, based on what we know. It’s important to acknowledge the past cannot be changed, but how we feel about it now, can be changed and moved into a better feeling place if that’s what were wanting to do.
If we did receive our parents unconditional love as we were growing-up, it gives one confidence and self-esteem as it confirms what young ones know strongly as they come forward into their physical bodies, “I am a very good human being that deserves to be loved.” But if we felt we did not receive parental love, it can set up a mindset that goes something like, “If my mother or father doesn’t love me, maybe I’m not good enough?”
Of course this is not true, and most of us would agree that just because someone doesn’t love us, it doesn’t make us unlovable, but it matters more when we’re young as we’re more easily influenced, especially by those we hold in high regard and are strongly connected too.

So whether or not we felt loved and accepted or approved of by our parents while we were growing up, and even now, there comes a time when we must decide for ourselves that we are good enough and worthy human beings….
Because “who we really are” is all these things, and so much more….And when we know this is who we are, now we can see it in all others, and I say “That is so good!!”

And so it is….

When you don’t expect too much from other’s…. It’s hard to be disappointed.

The Purest Soul1 Comment

SaharaAngel
What I’m getting at with this statement is, when you place very high expectations on other’s, you put yourself in a position to be highly disappointed if things don’t work out how you may have envisioned, and it can also start the process where we may attempt to control or manipulate behaviour to try to get them to achieve the outcome we are desiring for them.

Most of the time, the outcomes we’re hoping for are usually positive and something that our recipient is usually desiring too, but when we place very high expectations on them, especially our young children, it can become a heavy burden for them to carry, which now means they may become more focused on the burden of someone else’s expectations of them rather than achieving what they are wanting in a positive manner and that’s not ideal.

Many may disagree and say, “It’s because I care, and I only want the best for them!” And I say, of course we do, especially when it comes to our beautiful children, we all want the best for them, but by placing excessively high expectations on them, often works against what we’re wanting rather than increasing the likely hood of it.

Not having high expectations of others does not necessarily mean you don’t care about how they are doing or that you don’t want them to achieve good things. It’s a great intention to want the best for everyone we come into contact with, that’s the true power of influencing people positively, for true knowing is felt at an emotional, vibrational level and does not require words or placing high expectations on people to effect them deeply.

For me the ideal situation is;

~ Knowing what someone wants, which is very easy to feel if you listen to what they are saying for any length of time.
~ Knowing they have the ability to get where they are wanting to go, even if a path does not seem clear at the present moment.
~ Knowing that everyone has their own experiences and desires that will produce may different circumstances in their life both wanted and unwanted that ultimately propels them forward.
~ To basically be at peace with their experience and to know things will work out for the best, even if there are a few bumps along the way, this is the greatest benefit you can hope to give to anyone.

If we allow ourselves to worry, be stressed, upset, annoyed, angry, or frustrated about another’s experience or situation without making an effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place or to find some good in it, we are of very little benefit to them, or to ourselves, it is true.
If we can let go of expectations we may be placing on ourselves and other’s, we make space for more wonderful things to flow into our life, it’s a way of saying we believe that life is supposed to be good, and we all have the ability to create what we’re wanting in our lives.
That’s a very good vibration to be sending out into the Universe don’t you think?

This life is a process, a journey, and we are all making our way in the best way we know how, so acknowledge that, and move forward as positively as you can, for that has to be good enough….

And so it is….

Could “Whatever”…be the best word in the world???

The Purest SoulLeave a comment

OrangeSky
This is a good follow-on from “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” since it is a word our children often love to use, much to the disgust of many parents I’m sure!!
So I totally get it, it can be extremely frustrating when you’re trying to communicate with someone and all they offer you as a response is “whatever” with a lot of attitude. (Yep, I’ve had that comment given to me more times than I care to remember, but I probably need to add I love to use it myself too….Hehehe!!)
But what does someone usually mean when they say this, beyond trying to annoy the living daylights out of us!!

It’s a way of saying, “I don’t agree with what you are saying right now, and I don’t like it, and I know if I try to communicate anything to you….it’s just going to get ugly cause I’m pretty sure you’re not in a place to hear anything I’ve got to say about it, so I’ll sort of keep the peace, or more to the point, keep quite otherwise I may receive some consequences I’m not wanting, but I want you to know how I feel anyway!!”

Oh, that’s pretty good don’t you think….That’s a lot to convey in just one word, but that’s totally what it does.

So I think it can be good in the sense our children are not just accepting everything others are telling them just because we’ve been in a physical body longer than they have, and although this can make you want to pull your hair out and scream, it is a very positive aspect of who they really are coming through.

Many children coming forward from Non-Physical in these times are very strong-willed and not easily lead away from what they are wanting by others, or what they are believing is good for them.
Now I understand this makes for some very challenging times, especially if we are wanting them to follow all the rules we may have followed when we were growing up, and I would go as far to say, if this is what we are trying to impose on our children, it’s very likely this will cause extreme behaviours until we learn to communicate with them in a way that includes them in the decisions we make, rather than dictating everything to them without seeking their opinions and ideas.

I like to think of it as more of a collaboration rather than a dictatorship style of communicating, and to tell you the truth, from what I see, most of us are doing a pretty good job considering the vast difference from the way many of us were brought up.

So maybe this word isn’t as bad as what some of us may have thought?
For when our children grow-up and leave the nest, if they have learnt to just follow everything someone else says, they can be lost when they’re on their own.
Of course they usually find their way, but why would we make things harder for them than they need to be? Encouraging good communication, problem solving, respect for others, and the ability to change as the circumstances may require are totally awesome skills to teach and be an example of!

It’s very interesting to ponder…. “Who’s teaching who?”
I can only speak from my own personal experiences, when I tell you, through having to learn new and improved ways of interacting with my children in a positive manner, I have become a better person….And I can only hope they learn as much good stuff about themselves from me, as I have learnt from them….

And so it is….

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree….

The Purest Soul1 Comment

SaharaBook
I’m sure many people have probably heard this saying, whether or not they agree with what it’s getting at, is another matter.
For those of you who know me, you’ll know I love thinking and talking about common sayings and the deeper meanings they can hold for us, that the understanding of has the possibility of improving our life experiences, and sometimes it’s just interesting to ponder such things….
My interpretation of this analogy is something like this, the tree represents the parents in a family and the apples represent the children of the family.
So, if “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” this means that when children are brought up in any environment, they will more or less take on the values of those that have raised them. This includes cultural norms, community and family values, and may include religious beliefs or customs.
Some may disagree and say, “No, I disagreed strongly with some of the beliefs I was brought up with and have ensured I have not done the same in my life,” which often causes a strong behavioural change to the opposite end of the behavioural scale so to speak, some thing I like to call “And so the pendulum swings.” (Yep, you guessed it, I’ve written about that one too!!)

Now back to our apples…. I’m sure it’s not hard to see for most that there’s much truth to this saying, for it’s not possible to be in any environment for an extended amount of time without acclimatising to that which surrounds you, whether you are a child or an adult, but it’s far more pronounced for children than adults, because on the whole, they do not have the ability to remove themselves from the environment they have been born into….well not initially anyway, and are often programmed very strongly from the moment they come forth into what is and what isn’t appropriate, by the older more experienced members in the family.

Now, whatever belief system we’ve been born into doesn’t really matter, but what is important is as we start to grow up and mature and especially once we leave the family home and environment, that we question the beliefs we’ve been programmed with and decide for ourselves what we wish to believe and how we want to live our lives.
This can often be a hard task, for as many of you will already know, the Law of Attraction will respond to the beliefs we hold and we will see evidence of it everywhere we turn, which we often accept as, “That’s the way things have to be, because look, the evidence is everywhere!”
Now for sure, that’s the way things may be for some people if that’s what they believe, but it does not ultimately have to be that way. It’s always a choice, but sometimes it’s a choice we aren’t aware we have, and even once we are consciously aware, it does takes some very good focused thought to change beliefs that have been held for a long time that we’ve seen much physical manifestational evidence about.
And remember, just because something is true, does not mean you must give your attention to it, a better criteria to use is….”Is this….I’m giving my attention to now something I wish to experience in my life???”
Some may say, “Why should I even bother,” And I say, until we have questioned how we have been raised and the beliefs that have been passed to us, we have not truly grown up, but are carrying on with what we were programmed with.
This doesn’t mean that all our beliefs need changing, for many things we have been taught are serving us extremely well, but I’m sure it’s true somewhat for all of us, some beliefs we hold are not serving us well, and as these beliefs are held onto longer, so the evidence we receive from the Law of Attraction becomes stronger.
It’s absolutely possible to move any belief we want to into a better feeling vibrational place, but if it’s a belief that has been held for a long time, like all of our life, it does take some time and effort to move them in the direction of beliefs that will serve us and produce more wanted results, because after all, we didn’t come to any of our strong beliefs all in one day, so it’s probably going to take more that one day to change them, but we can totally do it if that’s what we’re wanting….I know it!!

And so it is….

Why would we not tell the truth???

The Purest Soul2 Comments

TreeSwing
There maybe millions of reasons why one would not tell the truth, but all these reasons come down to the same core reasons which are;
1. Fearing the possible consequences that may result from telling the truth.
2. Not feeling good enough in some way therefore feeling the need to make oneself sound better in the eyes of others, ultimately for their approval and admiration. Did you notice, this is still fearing the possible consequences of telling the truth, or more to the point, being who you really are.
This is not a very good feeling vibrational place to be in, feeling you must make yourself out to be something other than what you really are to be accepted or loved by others.
If we are coming to truly know who we really are, we would never feel the need to make excuses or not tell the truth to be seen as “acceptable or good” in another’s eyes, for we already have our own approval and acceptance of ourselves as we are, and are not requiring it from others in order to feel good or worthy.
Is it nice if others like us?
Yes, of course it is, but if we require this from every person we come into contact with, we better get very good at knowing exactly what others are wanting and expecting, and start adjusting our behaviour accordingly!
It’s not possible to be liked by every person that may be observing us “out there” for we are all in different vibrational places, meaning everything we observe is filtered through our own personal life experiences that brings us to our own beliefs about life. It’s better to accept we are all different and know it’s not possible to be liked by everyone, and just be our genuine selves!
Others will think what they will think, and whatever they maybe thinking (and remember, what others are exactly thinking is only speculation on our part anyway) is more of a reflection of who and where they are rather than whoever they’re observing or judging is.

If I was considering not telling the truth or doing something that went against what I felt was right so others may possibly like me more, the question I would ask myself would be….
Is it worth not being true to myself and who I really am to get a small fleeting moment of approval from another? Because believe me, it is fleeting and doesn’t last long, unless we’re prepared to do everything and anything we feel others want to get their constant approval, and even then, we cannot guarantee we will achieve it.
Holy Moses, that just sounds so hard, doesn’t it? And I say “for goodness sake, don’t do it!” It’s a way of being that will never ultimately lead anywhere you are wanting to go!

To tell the truth or not is a natural developmental stage we go through when we’re children as the brain starts to grow and mature, and often depending on the many varied experiences we have during our childhood, especially experiences related to how harshly we were disciplined with negative consequences, and whether not telling the truth was a strategy that worked for us, will often effect the choices we make as we grow up to whether we feel it is necessary, or in our best interests, to “tell the truth or not?”.
The reason I prefer to say,”to tell the truth or not,”rather than the word lying or liar, is I find these words to be very harsh and negative and prefer to put a slightly more neutral feeling (vibration) to an already slightly negative subject. I only use the word liar if I have become angry, which I do my very best to avoid, or better said, do my best to move into a better feeling place on before I react in a way I would prefer not too!
Anger or rage is the approximate vibrational place where the word liar usually sits, because think about it, have you heard anyone say, “You’re such a good liar darling, I could just hug you!!” not likely. Hehehe….That’s so funny!!

Ok, but seriously, for me, I know when people are not telling the truth, it oozes out of them like a disease. (dis-ease….Lack of ease!) And I find it very difficult to stay in the presence of one that feels the need to do such things. And to tell you the truth, (as if I wouldn’t…Hehehe) most people are aware and feeling that something is not right when they speak with someone who isn’t telling the truth, something always feels off, not quite right, but we may not be listening to what we are feeling, because of not understanding or knowing what it is that our feelings are telling us, and because it doesn’t feel good to think someone is not telling us the truth. (which is our natural tendency of moving to a better feeling place!)
So in other words, unless we have absolute proof that someone isn’t telling us the truth, it often feels better to discount or ignore the feelings that are being communicated to us, letting us know exactly what others are coming to us with, than to acknowledge they aren’t telling us the truth. The more aware and sensitive we are to how we’re feeling, and the more important it is for us to know if people are being truthful, the stronger our knowing of what the truth is, when we see it, hear it, or touch it.

All I can say is this, if we cannot be ourselves, who else can we be, after all, everyone else is taken.
So if you can only be you, why not be the “real you” and if others don’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours! And be proud of who you are now, because you are here, living your life in the best way you know how….
And as long as you are happy with who and what you are being, that has to be good enough….

And so it is…