What causes the yo-yo dieting effect???


There’s no use denying where we really are…….Acceptance of where we truly are is required with a focus on where we really want to be.      Paulette De-Har

Many people will understand very well through the living of their own life experiences that a lot of the time dieting doesn’t work.


Not only do people sometimes experience very sporadic results but on finishing a diet will often gain what they initially lost and then gain more on top of that, hence the term yo-yo dieting.
Many attempts at dieting ending with the above results can leave one feeling rather demoralized making the chances of succeeding at further attempts later down the road even more unlikely.

I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging right now but there’s no hiding from the truth. Putting one’s head in the sand and not acknowledging what is really happening doesn’t mean that it won’t happen and in truth sometimes guarantees it will. Knowledge is power so when we understand more about possibly how and why things are happening as they are, we are in a much better position to make an informed decision on how to move forward in a more positive direction.

There are as many different reasons why diets don’t work as there are people doing diets because each person’s thought process on the subjects of food, eating, exercise, and general health will be different based on their own personal life experiences. Nevertheless, almost all unwanted results that are achieved will be the result of having a stronger vibration made up of our thoughts and feelings that are more orientated towards what we are not wanting rather than what we are wanting.

For example;
~Focusing on the feeling of being deprived of what we really want to eat versus feeling proud we are doing something very good for our body, mind, and soul by making an effort to become more healthy.
~Focusing on feelings of being disappointed in a lack of visible results versus feeling happy with the improvement in energy, body strength and any other improvements in health no matter how small they may seem.
~Focusing on how hard it is versus the positive benefits one is achieving.

When beginning any new course of action whether it be an improved eating regime or exercise regime, work schedule or anything else, there will always be doubts that come into one’s mind as to which way to go. This is completely logical as the mind can often be resistant to change, especially if we have shied away from change and left others around us to make decisions for us. If the mind is not taken control of by the occupant of that mind it tends to run riot by spewing out negative thoughts and reasons why this or that will not work to try to keep the status quo. A mind not kept in check by moving initial negative thoughts to a more positive good feeling place can make one feel defeated before any actions have even been taken. Most people will not have the ability to take action from this place of negative contemplation as this kills any belief one might have of succeeding, and let’s face it no one wants to start something they don’t believe they can do, especially when it’s going to take a lot of effort.

Another factor that has strong influences on the results we achieve will be how big the change we are planning to make is and how difficult it will be to implement. Major changes in many different areas of our current lifestyle make it difficult to maintain and increases greatly our expectation of seeing results quickly. Expectation can be good but only when we are sitting in a strongly positive place of belief and knowing otherwise it tends to have the opposite effect especially if we have placed a strict time limit on ourselves. Both expectation and time can be positive or negative depending on where each person is sitting vibrationally on whatever they are wanting to achieve. But one thing is for sure, unrealistic expectations and strict time limits hardly ever put us in the ideal place to experience the good feeling life we are wanting.
It’s better to be flexible and open about both time and expectations as this gives us the freedom to change as we move forward without declaring we have failed because we haven’t followed an unrealistic schedule we’ve set down for ourselves.

Ok, so what happens when we initially make progress achieving some success with what we are wanting to do, in this case losing weight but then put it all back on plus some more. When we implement big changes in many different areas of our lives it can be very hard to maintain. The body may initially respond to the extra exercise or change in diet even if we aren’t liking it,  but unless our thoughts and feelings are improved and we can maintain feeling good about what we are doing apart from purely seeing physical results, they are hard to achieve. Any results gained are eventually lost as our enthusiasm for taking the actions we believe are required dwindles. Putting more on after this can only be the result of feeling stronger negative emotion about it. It’s very understandable because it never feels good to have tried something and to feel like we have not succeeded.

Although we all know what we put into our bodies and how much we move directly affects our health and well-being, none of this action makes any long-term difference if our thought is not changed and improved. Any action taken from a resistant uninspired place is always very hard that often produces poor results and doesn’t last unless great strength over our mind is attained. Great benefit can be gained from undertaking something we initially find hard if our mind is strong and we do our best to improve our thought as we go. No matter which way we look at it, it’s always the same. The body follows the mind every single time. A strong body cannot be found in a weak mind and a weak body cannot be found in a strong mind. Working only the body in exclusion to the mind is like trying to drive a car without a motor in it!!! That’s funny don’t you think…..

It is a simple formula really, but when translated into all the specific details of our lives and who we have specifically become in this physical body, it does get complicated I know.
The formula is, take the time to move our thoughts as close as we can to belief and knowing before taking any action. Once this has been achieved one will usually know or have a very good feeling about the initial actions that should be taken, this is inspired action that comes as a result of our improved vibration. Continue to improve any resistant thoughts that come up and focus on the positive aspects of what we have chosen to do and be open to making changes as we move forward.

Whatever anyone is wanting to achieve, I know for sure they can. But what I know about someone else’s experience really means nothing unless they know it themselves……..

For we are the true creators of our lives, and we create our lives through our focused thoughts and feeling, our vibration……..

And so we do…….


I drink a little more than recommended…..This world ain’t exactly what my heart expected….

These are lyrics from a song called Free by Rudimental featuring Emeli Sande`.

It’s not too hard to figure out what these lyrics are saying, and for me it goes something like….

Well, I find myself in this physical world, and although there are many good things here, as I look around I also see many things I don’t like, and I’ve also experienced many circumstances in my life that certainly didn’t make me jump for joy. When I see and experience such things I don’t feel very good, and somewhere deep inside myself I have a feeling I’m supposed to feel good, like it wasn’t supposed to be such hard work, like feeling good and enjoying my life was something I came here to do???
But how can I feel good when others are behaving in a way that I don’t agree with? I’ve learnt that trying to control others just as others have tried to control me to feel good, doesn’t really work so I’ve given up on that.
So then I have these negative emotions within me and I’ve noticed as time goes by, they get stronger and I seem to be faced with even more unwanted circumstances in my life…..So sometimes I reach for something that will give me some temporary relief, something that helps me to feel better and forget or numb the intensity of what I’m feeling.
Alcohol, drugs, food, medication, sex, exercise, work or any other substance or circumstance can be used to prevent us from feeling the full intensity of our negative emotions. Some are more detrimental than others, but all when solely used without making an effort to feel better ourselves, cause negative emotions to grow stronger which in turn usually requires us to use more of whatever we’re using to maintain the same amount of relief.

The good news is……as our negative emotions intensify and our increased use of external substances or circumstances starts not to work, one usually comes to the realisation that a change of strategy is needed, no, required to continue to move forward in a positive manner, and in extreme cases, to remain in this physical body.

We’re all doing whatever we feel is necessary to feel good in our lives as this is one of the strongest desires we have as we came forward from the Non-Physical realm into this Physical world. To create anything, we need to be exposed to many variables which inevitably helps us come to stronger and more specific ideas of what we’re wanting to create in our own lives. If the contrast didn’t exist in this Physical environment we’re currently living in, there would be no real purpose to coming here from the Non-Physical realm in the first place.

It rarely helps to judge ourselves or others negatively and harshly for this type of behaviour, even when we know these choices aren’t ultimately going to produce much good in the longterm. Using external substances to feel better can be a strategy that has the potential to help us in the short-term, until we feel we have the strength to feel better by ourselves, but can become a problem or addiction if we rely solely on whatever we’ve been using without making an effort to move our emotions into a better feeling vibrational place ourselves.

If we’re wanting to overcome any addiction or addictive behaviours we may have, there must be a desire to no longer want to use whatever substances or circumstances we’re using. Even with this desire, it’s difficult to stop, but without it, it’s virtually impossible to stop. This decision can only come from within us, others may put up all sorts of scenarios and reasons why we shouldn’t be doing this or that, but this often causes whoever we’re trying to convince to stop what they’re doing, feel more negative emotions such as shame, guilt, confusion and helplessness which can increase the desire to use something to numb the increased not good feeling emotions experienced.
Making anyone feel even worse about the choices they’re making, no matter how detrimental those choices may be, in the hope they’ll feel so bad they’ll suddenly stop using, is a very risky approach at best and has the potential of making our recipients desire to use something stronger!!

Whether we’re thinking about this subject for ourselves, or for someone who we love and would do anything to help, moving forward in a positive manner requires many different approaches depending on the specific circumstances, but at the top of that list is;

~Promoting the belief that we do have the strength and courage to move forward positively, even if it’s hard to currently see how. This is no easy feat if we’ve tried many times without success, but the stronger our belief is that we’ll succeed, the more likelihood there is that we will!!
~The idea that if we slip up one time we’ve failed miserably, isn’t a thought that helps anyone that’s trying to change negative behaviours. If we’ve been doing anything for an extended period of time, there is much power and momentum behind our actions that the Law of Attraction has been responding too, making it very hard to stop what we’ve been doing all at once.
It’s better to accept that even when we’re trying our best, we may slip up, but that it’s not the end of the world and it doesn’t mean all the progress we’ve already made is lost. It’s often the strong negative emotions of feeling that one has failed, letting themselves and those they love down again, that promotes the feeling that it’s hopeless to even keep trying anymore. When we’re more accepting of our current choices knowing it doesn’t mean we can’t keep moving forward positively, it makes it easier to cope and keep going with renewed resolve and determination without the negative self-reflection that can bring us to our knees.

Although I know dealing with such circumstances can be very difficult, the best thing we can hope to do is to stay as positive as we possibly can, and to make an effort to continue to do this, even when we feel things aren’t working out as well or as quickly as we would like…..
Because when we know the Law of Attraction is bringing us evidence of what we believe and are strongly emitting vibrationally, anything else is unacceptable….

And so it is….

What is my Sexual Orientation???

This seems to be the popular subject of the day, as well known public figures are “coming out” so to speak, sometimes after years of speculation about their sexual orientation.

Firstly…..who the hecks business is it except our own, who we wish to be intimate with???
When we interact with others, we may have feelings one way or the other as to their sexual orientation based on many factors we believe indicate it’s so. It’s not my intention to debate which behaviours indicate someone’s straight or gay, that will be different for everyone depending on ones beliefs and life experiences.

The question I would like to ask anyone who feels it’s appropriate to continually ask and somehow feel it’s their right to know, what another persons sexual preference is, is…..How would they like it if people persistently asked them questions about something that was very personal and private that they may very likely be judged harshly on by others with limited, rigid, and judgemental perspectives???

I know we’re often interested in others, especially high profile people, but it always comes down to the same thing….If I was treated in a disrespectful way, how would I feel? Just because someone has done well in their field of expertise and are in the public domain, does not mean they deserve to be treated in a lesser way than anyone else.

I’m looking forward to a time when someone’s sexual preference
is not a great talking point anymore, this will mean that many will have come to realise it’s not really any of their business…..And who cares anyway???

Avoid judging others harshly, for we’ve all come into this Physical World to decide for ourselves how we want to live our lives, not to be dictated too by others that feel “their way, is the only and right way to live!” (how boring and a bit presumptuous I would say!!)

We came forward with powerful intentions and purpose for what we’ve wanted to achieve in this life, and our good feelings are the path to who we really are and all we have become…..If we can know that other peoples negative judgements say so much more about who they are currently being than anything else, it can be easier to let their judgements go and feel better.

Be proud of who you are and the positive things you stand for…..And things will be so good!!

And so it is….

I’ve been waiting for acceptance & approval from my parents for so long….

Unfortunately many people are not allowing themselves to really feel happy because they are waiting for one or both of their parents unconditional love and acceptance.
And of course it’s wonderful when we feel we have their love and approval, but if this is not the case, it’s often because each generation, in their own right is different to previous generations, (that’s what they call progress I think!!) and for many people who are not very accepting of change or are wishing others were different to what they really are, (or maybe more obedient than they are) this can be difficult for them to accept and be happy about.
If you do not feel like you have received the love, acceptance or approval you thought your parents should have given you as you were growing up (and possibly presently too?) The most important thing to know is….Their inability to love unconditionally is far more about them than it is about you!

If our parents were not feeling good about something we were or were not doing, it was their inability or not knowing how to move themselves into a better feeling vibrational place that caused them to look on us with negative emotions or judgements, rather than us being wrong. Of course we did things that may not have been ideal, but that is the purpose they were there, to teach and guide us in a “positive way.”
It’s a very difficult task to guide another positively when we are not in a very good feeling vibrational place ourselves, but add to that the belief that others must behave in specific ways before we allow ourselves to be happy….And that’s a recipe for….Well, being very controlling and unhappy.
If we are requiring others to behave in ways we find acceptable and make us feel good, we give others the job of making us happy rather than taking the power we’ve had since the day we made our way into this physical body (and before we came forward too!!) by using our mind to bring ourselves into a good feeling vibrational place that is not so reliant on what is happening around us or what others are doing.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but everyone here is doing their best to make themselves happy, which doesn’t leave a lot to time for making everyone else happy which is the way it should be, for you cannot know exactly what will make others happy, that’s their job to figure that out and move towards it.
For those that are trying every which way to make others happy, they will eventually find it an impossible task to achieve consistently.

This being true, not much good comes from holding onto resentment and negative feelings about the way our parents did or did not raise us, for no matter what they did, most did the best that they could based on what they knew at that time, just as we are doing our best to raise our children now, based on what we know. It’s important to acknowledge the past cannot be changed, but how we feel about it now, can be changed and moved into a better feeling place if that’s what were wanting to do.
If we did receive our parents unconditional love as we were growing-up, it gives one confidence and self-esteem as it confirms what young ones know strongly as they come forward into their physical bodies, “I am a very good human being that deserves to be loved.” But if we felt we did not receive parental love, it can set up a mindset that goes something like, “If my mother or father doesn’t love me, maybe I’m not good enough?”
Of course this is not true, and most of us would agree that just because someone doesn’t love us, it doesn’t make us unlovable, but it matters more when we’re young as we’re more easily influenced, especially by those we hold in high regard and are strongly connected too.

So whether or not we felt loved and accepted or approved of by our parents while we were growing up, and even now, there comes a time when we must decide for ourselves that we are good enough and worthy human beings….
Because “who we really are” is all these things, and so much more….And when we know this is who we are, now we can see it in all others, and I say “That is so good!!”

And so it is….

The Right to Life or Death….Whose decision is it???

Each of us is ultimately in charge of our own mind and physical body, and although we may be influenced by the thoughts and beliefs of our society, culture, and the family we’ve grown up in, in the end it’s our decision whether we want to continue in this physical life or not.

When we enter this time-space reality, we came forward with strong purpose and intentions for this physical life, so our desire to live and experience the life we have chosen, is a very strong and powerful calling that sits at the very core of who we really are.

The ending of life in this physical body is a decision made by either the Physical us, the Non-Physical us or a combination of both the Physical and Non-Physical parts of us. For most, it would be true to say, this decision is usually made from our Non-Physical perspective.

The main reasons for making our transition back to the Non-Physical realm are;
~ The intentions that we put forward when coming into our current Physical life have been achieved and the soul is ready for a fresh and new Physical perspective. (Imagine wearing the same outfit for centuries, even if we really liked it, eventually we’d want to wear something different, so it is with experiencing different lives!!) Hehehe….That’s a very good analogy, I like it!!
~ If much resistant has been gathered over time while in our current Physical life, this takes a toll on the mind and body to a point where both may start to break down and the decision is made to return to the Non-Physical realm once again.

No matter how the circumstances unfold, it’s always us who decides when, where and how we will make our transition back to Non-Physical, even when we are not aware this is the case, which often we are not.
Although there are always exceptions to what most are doing, to make a conscious decision to leave this life experience from our Physical perspective requires us to have either gained insight into how we are creating our life, and how we may wish to end it in a desirable way, or we may have gradually gotten ourselves into a very not good feeling vibrational place we feel we cannot come out of, therefore making the choice to leave this body.
Some may find this hard to believe and I totally understand that point of view, for if we have not known there is another part of us that’s remained in the Non-Physical realm, and that this Non-Physical counterpart has been communicating to the Physical here and now part of us through our thoughts and emotions, our vibration…this would seem, well…weird.
Life truly is never-ending, and although we will all leave the body we’re currently in, who we really are never dies, but simply changes form.
When we are understanding this, we no longer feel the need to make judgements about whether others should continue in a painful manner at the end of their physical life, especially if this is not what they are wanting, and let’s be honest, not many would want to end this physical life in pain, but may feel they don’t have a choice or may be frightened to let go because they are unsure of what, if anything, may follow.

The death experience will come to us all, that we can be sure of, and when we can understand and embrace this truth about life, there is not much left to fear, and now we can live (and make our transition) as we intended too, just as we made our powerful and joyful decision to come forward into this physical life in the first place!!

And so it is….

Don’t judge a book by its cover….

I think many would have a good idea what people mean when they say "Don't judge a book by its cover."
It's fairly obvious that you cannot know everything about a person purely by observing their physical appearance and this saying speaks to that truth by reminding us to avoid judging others too harshly or in a negative way before we've got to know them.
But that's where the truth of this statement ends.
Of course it's not nice to judge others harshly when you don't know a lot about them, but the idea that you will not take anything that you are observing with your own eyes, and what you may be feeling from them vibrationally into consideration when deciding whether you wish to interact with another person or not is…..Well, it's highly unlikely as this happens automatically, whether we are aware of it or not.
So our interpretation of another comes not just from what we are observing, ( hair, skin colour, clothing, cleanliness, presentation etc) not to underestimate what we are seeing, but also from a persons facial expressions, body language, and especially from what they are sending out vibrationally.
We all have a general vibrational signal that is being emitted from us in every moment we are in this physical body. (and when we are in the Non-Physical realm too….But that would require a post of its own!!)
Our general vibrational place is made up of all the thoughts and feelings we’ve ever had, although subjects we are currently focused on and things we feel very strongly about both positive and negative, will be sending out a stronger signal than subjects that are less important to us.
Whenever we come into contact with others, we’re picking up on their vibration to a certain extent, depending on how sensitive we are to how we’re feeling and how aware we are that this is happening.
Whatever we may be feeling when we’re observing anyone, but especially those we don’t know, will be a blending of their physical appearance, body language, and most importantly, their vibration. This is a positive occurrence, unless we make very negative judgements based on the information we are receiving.
When others are very different to ourselves, we often feel it very strongly and sometimes negatively, and we may assume, “there must be something wrong with that person,” otherwise why am I feeling not good when I look at them?
Whereas it’s usually an indication not that someone is “not good,” but that there will be a lot of differences between the two of you.
Now it’s true to say that it wouldn’t be much fun if we were all the same, but on the flip side of that, it’s not usually much fun to interact with people who are vastly different to ourselves either, especially if our core beliefs about life are at the opposite ends of the scale for this can make for some very not nice communication, and no one usually wants that!
Another factor about our physical appearance that’s often not considered is, what we see on the outside is always a reflection of what’s going on inside us and what we’ve been doing with our thought process, for it’s not possible to hide who you have been and who you are currently being, it’s out there for everyone to see, especially if you are holding negative thoughts and feelings about past experiences that the Law of Attraction is responding in-kind too, for this takes its toll on the mind and physical body!
So although it’s definitely not nice to judge others negatively by how they look, it’s important to acknowledge that we’re all receiving valuable information about the others we come into contact with that’s letting us know if it’s a good idea to communicate with them right now or not, and to guide people to not listen to the guidance they are receiving, is very poor advice at best.

For me, I get very strong feelings and information about others, and I do not feel the need to speak to those that are vibrationally a long way from where I am because I know they feel very uncomfortable around me, and that’s not nice for anyone including me.
Rather than trying to push relationships that aren’t a good match, it’s better to let those that are on the same wavelength to you come, for that is a coming together of two like-minded souls….And that is so good!!

And so it is….

PMS….Is it all in our minds???

Well, the answer is yes and no….depending on what your beliefs and experiences are in relation to this subject.
In the past, I was never very impressed when people complained about being “so emotional” because it was “that time of the month.”
I felt strongly that many people used this as an excuse to behave badly, and then relinquished any responsibility they had for their bad behaviour by blaming their “hormones.”
Now before anyone gets their knickers all bunched up, I completely acknowledge that this can be a real occurrence for many women with varying degrees of intensity. It’s not my intention to argue with anyone about whether or not they really experience PMS, if you think you experience it, you probably do experience it, end of story.
As usual, I like to this think about experiences through the viewpoint of Universal Law and the Law of Attraction in order to move forward in a positive direction rather than resigning myself to a position of helplessness or “I can’t do anything about this” mindset.
No, for me it’s unacceptable to resign myself to a period of time every month when I am in a not good feeling place and everyone else better just “look out or else.”

Now many would argue…..I’ve had tests done, I’ve had this and that done and the doctor says I have a hormone imbalance, and I’m not pretending I’m emotional, etc,etc.
And I say, yes of course you are, and yes, most people know and accept this as a normal way of being at that time of the month.
But consider for a moment, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
Did the emotion cause the hormone imbalance, or did the hormone imbalance cause the emotion? Many have assumed the latter, and have therefore thrown their arms up in the air and said “I can’t do anything about it, it’s out of my control,” and which ever way it happened, nothing is out of our control, especially when it comes to our own experiences.
If I was experiencing PMS and it was affecting my life (or others around me) in a negative way, I would ask myself the following question….
How strongly do I believe I’m going to experience an emotionally disturbing time when my period is due???
And, do I enjoy (just a little bit) having an excuse to really “let it all out” without consequences. Actually, that’s not possible, there are always consequences for everything we do, remember, the Law of Attraction is responding in-kind to what ever you put “out there,” whether it is something you are wanting or not.

Although it’s true that we all have control of ourselves and how we feel, if we have been experiencing PMS for some time with intensity, there will be a considerable amount of power and momentum behind the thoughts and beliefs that initially helped to create this situation, and of course, we have our own personal experiences of PMS which really cements our belief even more, for now we have evidence of that which we may have unknowingly attracted to focus even more on! (I say unknowingly, because I find it hard to believe anyone would knowingly create anything they weren’t wanting!)
So we can’t really go from “0 to hero” (from strongly unwanted to wanted) when experiencing any unwanted circumstances’ when there’s power and momentum behind those experiences, and the fact that we are experiencing anything, lets us know there is power and momentum behind it, otherwise we wouldn’t be experiencing it.
The best thing we can do if we’re wanting to improve our experience in relation to PMS or any circumstances in our life, is to start cultivating our belief more in the direction of what we are wanting, rather than focusing on what has already been.
It does take some time and effort, and a focusing of the mind to a level we may not have exercised for a while, but it is so doable.

The power to shape your experience is within you….not your doctor, not your family, not your community…..It’s within you, and although others can be a source of guidance or inspiration that can help us to get where we want to be, it’s you that will ultimately be the creator of your experience.
Take the power you were born with and exercise it, for this is your natural birth right, and you can start right now, from wherever you are, it matters not what has already been…

And so it it….