The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree….

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I’m sure many people have probably heard this saying, whether or not they agree with what it’s getting at, is another matter.
For those of you who know me, you’ll know I love thinking and talking about common sayings and the deeper meanings they can hold for us, that the understanding of has the possibility of improving our life experiences, and sometimes it’s just interesting to ponder such things….
My interpretation of this analogy is something like this, the tree represents the parents in a family and the apples represent the children of the family.
So, if “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” this means that when children are brought up in any environment, they will more or less take on the values of those that have raised them. This includes cultural norms, community and family values, and may include religious beliefs or customs.
Some may disagree and say, “No, I disagreed strongly with some of the beliefs I was brought up with and have ensured I have not done the same in my life,” which often causes a strong behavioural change to the opposite end of the behavioural scale so to speak, some thing I like to call “And so the pendulum swings.” (Yep, you guessed it, I’ve written about that one too!!)

Now back to our apples…. I’m sure it’s not hard to see for most that there’s much truth to this saying, for it’s not possible to be in any environment for an extended amount of time without acclimatising to that which surrounds you, whether you are a child or an adult, but it’s far more pronounced for children than adults, because on the whole, they do not have the ability to remove themselves from the environment they have been born into….well not initially anyway, and are often programmed very strongly from the moment they come forth into what is and what isn’t appropriate, by the older more experienced members in the family.

Now, whatever belief system we’ve been born into doesn’t really matter, but what is important is as we start to grow up and mature and especially once we leave the family home and environment, that we question the beliefs we’ve been programmed with and decide for ourselves what we wish to believe and how we want to live our lives.
This can often be a hard task, for as many of you will already know, the Law of Attraction will respond to the beliefs we hold and we will see evidence of it everywhere we turn, which we often accept as, “That’s the way things have to be, because look, the evidence is everywhere!”
Now for sure, that’s the way things may be for some people if that’s what they believe, but it does not ultimately have to be that way. It’s always a choice, but sometimes it’s a choice we aren’t aware we have, and even once we are consciously aware, it does takes some very good focused thought to change beliefs that have been held for a long time that we’ve seen much physical manifestational evidence about.
And remember, just because something is true, does not mean you must give your attention to it, a better criteria to use is….”Is this….I’m giving my attention to now something I wish to experience in my life???”
Some may say, “Why should I even bother,” And I say, until we have questioned how we have been raised and the beliefs that have been passed to us, we have not truly grown up, but are carrying on with what we were programmed with.
This doesn’t mean that all our beliefs need changing, for many things we have been taught are serving us extremely well, but I’m sure it’s true somewhat for all of us, some beliefs we hold are not serving us well, and as these beliefs are held onto longer, so the evidence we receive from the Law of Attraction becomes stronger.
It’s absolutely possible to move any belief we want to into a better feeling vibrational place, but if it’s a belief that has been held for a long time, like all of our life, it does take some time and effort to move them in the direction of beliefs that will serve us and produce more wanted results, because after all, we didn’t come to any of our strong beliefs all in one day, so it’s probably going to take more that one day to change them, but we can totally do it if that’s what we’re wanting….I know it!!

And so it is….

Some truths about marriage…

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Marriage means different things to different people, but it is generally accepted by most, that it is a commitment between two people, into an intimate relationship that excludes all others and lasts, “till death do us part”.

Well, that’s a very nice idea in a perfect world, actually, that’s a nice idea in any world. The question that’s interesting to ask is, is it really possible in the days that we are now living?
Absolutely yes, it’s completely possible, especially if that’s what we’re wanting, so why the high incidence of separation? As you can imagine, there are millions of reasons why people may separate, but often, there tends to be misconceptions or misguided beliefs about life, marriage, and relationships that contribute to this, therefore causing a flow on effect of smaller disagreements, and eventually more serious incidents.

Addressing misconceptions or false beliefs, not just the symptoms, is key, for running around trying to deal with the symptoms without addressing the deeper underlying causes, does not usually work, or only works in the short-term.
As you eradicate one symptom, another one rears its head, for the underlined cause is still there, and has not been dealt with.

A major misconceptions or false belief is, that it’s another person’s job to keep us happy. Now it goes without saying that most want to have uplifting and positive interactions with those around them, and that is a great desire, but if you are relying on others to always provide you with this, you get yourself, and whoever you are interacting with, in a very difficult position, for now you require them to behave in specific ways, before you allow yourself to be happy.

This is a sure way to stifle any relationship, for when you start requiring specific behaviour from others, you give them the responsibility for making you happy, rather than being responsible and in control, of your own happiness. Living in this way is like being on a rollercoaster, for you have made your happiness dependent on what the other is, or is not doing. For the person expected to behave in specific ways to please the other, this is very tiresome, and over time, becomes a burden that leads to resentment.
I’m not saying it’s not nice when people are behaving in ways we find to be wonderful, of course it is, and yes, we’d be crazy not to be happy about that when it happens, but when this is a prerequisite we require before allowing ourselves to be happy, we’re in for a rough ride.
Our true power and freedom comes from being able to be happy, apart from what others are doing. I know it isn’t always easy when coming from a life experience where you needed to behave in ways to make those around you happy, where there were often strong negative consequences if we did not. I suppose it’s natural that we often follow the same path that we were brought up with, but part of growing up, is questioning the beliefs that have been passed to us and deciding for ourselves, how we want to live our life now!

Are the beliefs that have been passed to me by my family, my community or my religion relevant to the life I’m living now? These questions can only be asked and answered by each individual, for no other is in a better position, to decide what is best for you, than you are. When you allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they really are, not just in marriage, but in all relationships, and you make it your job to keep yourself happy apart from how others are or are not behaving, you are a pure joy to be around!
For true love is synonymous with freedom, and freedom is at the very core of who we really are!

And so our journey continues….