Happiness

Is being “Right” more important to me than being Happy???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

SoulFireQuote
This is my reply to a comment from a previous post about being HAPPY and here’s the link if you’d like to read it, but I like to think this stands on its own whether or not you read the previous post.

Yes…..Most people love the feeling of being right!!! What we believe is right depends on our beliefs, experiences, and level of knowing….So what is right in one person’s mind is not right in another’s, everything is open to interpretation based on where we are vibrationally. That’s why it’s a futile endeavour to spend time trying to convince others of our rightness and their wrongness, for what is true and right for each of us will depend on our focus which has attracted our life experiences becoming the truth we are living, even if it isn’t the ultimate truth.

It’s also important to know we’ll be attracting many unwanted circumstances by arguing our point as the Law of Attraction responds to all the vibrations we’re sending out during these and all other types of interactions bringing us more of the same!!! It’s a good idea to ask oneself if we’re liking the current conversation that’s taking place, and if we would like similar interactions that feel the same in the future???

In relation to others saying “I just want them to be happy,” what people often mean is, “This person plays a pivotal part in my life, and although I do want them to be happy, when they aren’t I find it very difficult to maintain a good feeling vibrational place….So in order for me to feel happy I need to see them happy, and if they really cared about me they would do this so I can once again be happy as I see them happy.”
And I say…..Holy Moses, not much kills good relationships faster than expecting another to provide what we all know deep down we should be providing for ourselves!!
I know this isn’t always easy to do….Especially with the ones that are so dear to us, but being “selfish” and making how we feel our top priority, is more unselfish than many may think. By looking after and making an effort to feel as good as we can while those around us are not, now we have so much good to offer them. And sometimes it’s watching another we love and respect that’s able to feel good in the face of unwanted circumstances that gives us the inspiration to do the same….
But even if it doesn’t at lest we know we haven’t wallowed around in the unwanted mud with them creating unwanted circumstances for ourselves, and helping to add power and momentum to their unwanted situation!!!

Some may call that selfish….I call it “KNOWING!!!”

And so it is….

What’s more important than being HAPPY???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

Reflection
That’s a slightly misleading title, because no matter what we’re doing, we are doing what we feel will achieve or at least get us the closest to the results we’re wanting. A more descriptive question would be……What circumstances do I require or need to achieve before I will allow myself to be happy???

There are many conditions we may or may not be aware of that we’ve put in place to be met before allowing ourselves to be happy such as;

~ It’s more important to be right.
~ Those I talk with must understand what I’m saying.
~ Those I talk with must agree with my point of view.
~ Others I observe must behave in an appropriate way.
~ Things must work out how I am wanting them too.

I can imagine what some people may be thinking….Who doesn’t like it when others understand them and behave in ways we find appropriate. And is there a person living that doesn’t love it when circumstances unfold how they’re wanting???
Of course not, we all love it when we have these types of experiences, because lets face it, it feels so good!!! This is also evidence of the positive vibrational place we have maintained overtime with emotional intensity that the Law of Attraction has responded in-kind too, and when we’re knowing this….That is an awesome feeling that is beyond Physical description!!!

So we could say, yes I’m happy once I’ve proved myself as right, (and others as wrong) are understood or agreed with, and when others behave appropriately. But anyone that’s lived here for some time knows that we’ll always come up against the opposite of the things we’re wanting to experience at some point or another in our life. It isn’t whether we’ll observe or experience unwanted situations in our life, that’s the nature of being in this Physical world. What is important is what we do and how we react when we’re faced with unwanted circumstances and challenges.

It’s all about what we focus on at these times, and what we continue to focus on after an experience has happened that determines what we’re attracting into our future experience. If we can focus on the positives in any situation, this ensures we’re creating the best possible future experiences for ourselves and moving through any resistance we may have to what’s currently happening. This is a very good plan of action, but are empty and hollow words to those that have been focused on all they find to be wrong and unwanted in the world and their experience……

If there are circumstances we’ve been strongly negatively focused on for an extended period of time, it’s does take some time and effort to move our thoughts into a better feeling place…..But once we’re noticing the link between what we’re thinking and feeling and what’s turning up in our life experience, I don’t know anything else that’s worth making more of an effort for, do you???

When we’re knowing we create our own life experiences through our focused thoughts and feelings,(our vibration) we start to realise there are very few circumstances that are worth feeling strong negative emotion about for any length of time. I’m not suggesting we should pretend we like things we clearly do not…. No, that falls into the category of denial, and that rarely brings anything we’re wanting into our lives.
If we only allow ourselves happiness when circumstances unfold exactly as were wanting, we set ourselves up in a situation where we may be unhappy for much of the time. This attracts vibrational matches in the form of thoughts, people, places and events depending on the amount of time we’ve spent being unhappy, and the strength of our negative emotion.

It’s an impossible task to try to control or manipulate others into doing what we want them to do so we can be happy and usually ends in all parties involved being miserable. And I’m sure most have realised, everyone else that’s living hasn’t actually come to make sure everything unfolds in our lives the way we want it too, they’ve come here to create what they’re wanting in their lives, just as we have.

So the moral of the story is….

~ Appreciate experiences and interactions we have with others when things are unfolding as we want them too.
~ Try to see the benefit that comes from all experiences, especially unwanted circumstances, this quickly moves us into a better vibration place about it and releases resistance.
~ Acknowledge any negative emotions we have to past or present experiences and make an effort to move our thoughts into a better feeling place, even if it’s only slightly.
~ Avoid relying on others to provide our happiness….It’s not their job, it’s ours.
~ Wherever we are and whatever we’re doing, even if it’s less that what we’re exactly wanting, is moving us ever so much closer to all that we are, and all we are wanting….

And that has to be a good thing….Don’t you think???

And so our journey continues…..

Consistency….Is the name of the game!!!

The Purest Soul1 Comment

MoonSwing
It doesn’t matter what subject we talk about, the formula doesn’t change…. Doing anything once is great, especially if it’s something that we feel inspired or good about doing, but I don’t think too many people would disagree with the fact that if we’re wanting to see any real longterm change in our lives, consistency of thought and action is usually required!!!

Even though many of us know this, why do we often find it difficult to keep our consistency of action up???
The answer always comes down to similar reasons. If we haven’t taken the time to move our thought into a positive good feeling vibrational place before we take any physical action, we often don’t have the inspiration required to continue on with what we’re wanting to do. And sometimes even when we have taken some time to improve and work on our vibration before taking action, we may still find our enthusiasm wavering, especially if it’s become hard work and we’re not achieving the results we’re wanting.
In the beginning, being strongly focused on the end result we’re wanting in a positive way can help us, but as we keep going, if we start making negative judgements because we haven’t achieved exactly what we were wanting in our desired time limit, this starts to make what we’re doing difficult and can send us in an unwanted direction again. I don’t believe many people have a lack of wanting, everyone wants what they want, but sometimes when we’ve tried many times without success, it becomes painful to keep trying and continue to not achieve what we’re wanting, so it feels better not to try, sometimes it feels better to give-up.
But this too is a bitter pill to take because deep down we know there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be able to achieve what it is we’re wanting….So even though, at the time giving-up may be a better feeling place than failure, we will rarely find any lasting happiness in this emotional place, and fortunately most that find themselves here, will eventually gain the strength to raise their vibration into a better place where they can again start receiving positive ideas.

If we’re receiving good ideas, especially if they’re coming from within us through our own though process, this is a good indication we’ve been somewhat in a good general vibrational place otherwise we wouldn’t be receiving them. The better feeling place we’ve generally been in, the more inspired our thoughts are, and the more likely we are to take action on them, especially if we’ve fostered an attitude of belief in ourselves and our ability.

When an idea comes we may want to act on, the best possible thing we can do is to give it as much positive thought as we can. This is very different from looking at the “pros and cons” of a situation as many people often do at this time. If we do put a lot of focus and attention on all the things that could possibly go wrong and what may not work, this usually has the effect of instantly killing our ideas, for now we are emitting a vibration that may be primarily made up of thoughts and feelings on everything unwanted that could happen, and not many people will take any action from this not good feeling, non-believeing, vibrational place because it’s too hard and doesn’t usually produce good results unless we make an effort to greatly improve our thought as we go, which is possible, but it’s much easier if we start in a good vibrational place to begin with.

As we focus over time on all the positives in relation to our ideas, power and momentum of positive thought is maintained and improved, and as the Law of Attraction responds to the dominant vibrational signal we’re emitting, any action taken from this place is truly inspired and reaps much better results. This is exactly whats going on when we talk to one who explains their “work” not as work, but mostly as a joyful endeavour they get paid to do!!!

Of course resistant circumstances will still turn up, even when we’ve taken action from an inspired good feeling place that has positive power and momentum behind it, but from this strong vibrational place, obstacles are easily overcome and are more of a propeller into even better, fuller, more wanted circumstances!!!

And so it is….

After all they shared…..How could he simply say NO???

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BarbwireSky
After all they shared how could he simply say no….Lyrics to a beautiful song by Delerium featuring Jael.
I was actually searching for a different song on YouTube and happened across this old favourite and immediately knew this is what I was looking for!!

I never watch or listen to news, but it’s amazing how things that are important for me to know or things I’m possibly interested in still make their way into my experience between turning the key, the radio coming on, and putting my iPod on!! Yesterday, the first time I got in the car I heard something about a tribute to Robbie Williams before my iPod came on. I thought, hang on…..Aren’t tributes often done when someone dies……Surely something hasn’t happened to Robbie Williams? Then I thought, nah I would know if that had happened.
I happily did my shopping then got back in the car to drive home. I was about to put my iPod on but an awesome song was playing on the radio, and since it’s only a five-minute drive home, I decided to keep the radio on.

After my song finished, I heard a somber announcer say, here’s our tribute to Robbie Williams, and I thought, Oh No, it is him…..Then a voice quite unlike Robbie Williams came on as they played someone doing many funny voice overs, and I was like, what the??? By the time I got home I realised it wasn’t Robbie Williams, but Robin Williams they were talking about……And I felt sadness…..

For those that have read some of what I write, you will know I mostly speak of moving to better feeling vibrational places, and I stand by that 100%, no matter what’s happening.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t feel sadness or any other negative emotions. Moving into a better feeling place isn’t about denying how one is truly feeling in any given moment, but is more about feeling whatever it is we’re feeling, acknowledging that’s where we currently are, and then making a conscious decision to do our best to move forward and feel better, even if it is only slightly.

Many would say, no I cannot do that, you don’t understand how I’m feeling, I cannot feel better right now. And I say, that is true, no one else knows exactly how we’re feeling about anything, even if they’ve had similar experiences. When our grief is deep and strong it can feel like we don’t have the ability to feel better, and sometimes it may take all our energy just to keep going.
In these circumstances time can be our friend, as we move through time the intensity of our sadness and grief usually lessens and this can be a good opportunity to start consciously trying to move our thoughts and feelings.

I know many struggle with thoughts about death, and it’s only reasonable we would feel strongly about losing someone we dearly love. If we believe they are now at peace and in a better place, that can help to alleviate some of the anguish we may be feeling, but how their transition back to Non-Physical energy came about, and the fact that they will no longer be around us, are realities that cannot be denied for long, and do need to be dealt with for us to truly move forward and be happy once again.

My thoughts go out to those that have lost a loved one in this way….
It’s true, we all came here to love and live this life to it’s fullest, and sometimes we can get a little off track….But when everything is said and done, we also came with the ability to feel the whole spectrum of emotions and with the freewill to choose what we feel is best for us, and although it’s a choice no one would want anyone they love to make, it is a choice we are free to make….

And so it is….

Is it stink….to like your own post???

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BigRedMoon
Hehehe, Oh this cracks me up!!
When I first started my blog, I would have definitely said yes, it’s very stink to like your own post!! And it’s funny because when I initially set everything up, for some reason my profile picture was coming up in my own community, and I can’t tell you how much time I spent trying frantically to figure out why I was on there and how to get myself off!
So of course, as many of you bloggers out there will know, under my community settings I also had commenters checked, that’s why I was coming up.
Ok, disaster averted, I just changed the settings and all was good, I was no longer in my own community!
Now fast forward three months and I find myself with quite a different perspective on the subject, for a number of different reasons.

1. When looking at my blog stats of where referrers came from, I often ended up on my own page or posts and always ended up reading them again, especially if they were older posts as I often couldn’t remember exactly what it was about or what I’d written. When I’d get to the end of reading the post, if my husband was around I’d say, “I don’t know who wrote this but they know what they’re talking about, this is really good….have you read this!” He’d say “Yer, I know” and then we’d just crack up laughing! (Hehehe, you know I’m going to read this one over and over don’t you!!)
2. I linked my blog to a new Facebook profile because I had a couple of friends who wanted to link to it from there, and although I’ve not been a fan of Facebook in the past, I do like technology so thought it was inevitable I’d have to get on a social media site sooner or later.

So, being on WordPress and Facebook has considerably altered my perspective about social media, and my general conclusions are;

1. It’s probably still a little bit stink to “like” your own stuff, but who cares, and in who’s opinion, if you want to like it, like it! I say, of course you like it, you wrote and posted the damn thing didn’t you, and of course it’s awesome, right!!

2. I also feel very strongly as I look through these forums that many are desperately seeking approval and love, and wanting validation from others for where they are. (Yes, birds of a feather do flock together, don’t they? Well mostly, but not always…)
There’s nothing wrong with this, but one thing is for sure, there will never be enough validation, love, or approval that comes from outside of ourselves in any form whether it’s from online relationships and communication or real life physical relationships.(or anything else for that matter)
For the good feeling one achieves from this lasts only a short time and we will usually find ourselves needing more and more of this external validation in order to feel good.
What does that sound like to you? Yes, for some, it does become an unhealthy addiction.
Now you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out this population consist’s mainly of the female variety. (Thought I’d better check the statistics out, and yes two-thirds of the population on social media are female, 2012 stats)
Of course it’s wonderful to have such external validation as this can help give us strength, especially in difficult times, but nothing will ever make up for the love, approval and validation that we have within us that is available to us in every moment of our lives from the Non-Physical, Inner Being part of us.
Anything less does not last, or is a temporary fix for what we are really reaching for.
And what is it we are reaching for?
The truth of who we are, the power that we have, the love we have within us, the ability to share that love with others that are in a place to receive it, just the pure perfection of who and what we are.
But we must be okay with who we are apart from others, this is true knowing, this is true love, and this is one path among many, that leads to true happiness. And so it is….

Are you holding a grudge?…Who do you think you’re hurting???

The Purest Soul2 Comments

ProblemQuote
It’s true to say, most of us have held a grudge against someone at some time or another in our lives. It can be a natural reaction when we feel like someone has wronged us in some way, or we have been faced with a situation where we feel there has been an intention to purposely hurt us. It is not possible to look at something that is clearly unwanted and disregard it or be happy about it, but it is possible to move into a better feeling neutral place about it. Through my own experience, and by observing many others, I have come to the following conclusions;
1. Holding a grudge hurts the person holding the grudge the most.
2. Holding a grudge doesn’t change what has already happened.
3. Trying to hurt others only brings more unwanted circumstances into your life.
4. As long as you hold a grudge, you give others power over how you are feeling, the power that you should have, and that never feels good.

Some may say, “why should I forgive them, what they did was wrong”. Forgiveness is not about saying what they did was right or wrong, and it’s never about making the other person feel better, it’s about making ourselves feel better and being able to move on, to bigger and better things, rather than staying stuck in a miserable place that doesn’t feel good.
It’s completely appropriate to decide what it is we’re wanting to experience in our lives, but focusing on what others are doing that we may disapprove of, only attracts more unwanted circumstances with the same emotional feeling into our life experience. This is because, we get what we think about, or more aptly said, we get back how we feel. Whenever we think about something, it always produces a feeling within us, and the feeling we get is always communication from our Inner Being or the Non-Physical part of us, letting us know where we are in relation to what we’re wanting, regarding the subject being currently thought about. If we think about something and don’t have any feelings either positive or negative, we can be sure it’s a subject that currently does not matter to us, for anything that is important, will induce an emotional feeling within.

For example, if I’m annoyed about the way someone has been behaving, the fact that I am annoyed is an indication I am moving away from that which I am really wanting. One of the strongest desires within us is to be happy, and because we grew up with people around us trying to control everything we did so they would be happy, we may have continued on, in the same way. Many have realized it’s not really possible to truly control others, especially in the long-term, as it just makes everyone involved miserable, but we may not be sure how to change, or what to do.
Through our emotions, our Inner Being communicates with the physical here and now us, letting us know where we are in relation to everything we’re wanting. Negative emotion indicates movement in a direction that is taking us further away from what we’re truly wanting, whereas positive emotion indicates movement closer to that which we’re wanting.
Negative emotion is not bad, for its extremely valuable information when we start to understand what it means. We all have the power within us to move to a better feeling place about any and all subjects that are important to us, but many of us have not known this. Instead, we have taken our negative emotion as evidence that others are doing something they shouldn’t be and that it’s our job to control their behavior and keep them in line or we cannot be happy.
Nothing could be further from the truth, for we cannot control what others say or do, for they have the freedom to choose, just as you and I do. But there is something we have absolute control over, and that is how we feel, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you let them.

To begin with, it may seem like an impossible task, for if we were bought up just reacting to everything we were observing, just as many around us were doing, not knowing we had the power to feel better, and that feeling better moved us in the direction of what we were wanting, of course we wouldn’t have exercised a power we didn’t know we had. Nevertheless, that power pulses strongly within us, and like everything else, needs belief and positive focus, to bring it to the forefront of who we are.

The key is to take small steps if we can feel slightly better than we currently are, and we can maintain that better feeling place, that’s wonderful progress!
We didn’t come to how we feel all in one day, it requires focused thought over time and therefore changing our thought into a better feeling place does take some time and effort, but I cannot think of anything more important than feeling happier in our lives.
So let go of your anger and resentment towards others, don’t do it for them, do it for yourself, for you deserve to be happy, it is your natural birthright!!
So what will you choose now??

And so our journey continues…..

Are you free to choose???

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ArmsWide2
Are you free to choose every and all things in your life? That’s an interesting question, let’s look at that a little more closely….

So, every choice we’ve made up until today has bought you to the place we are in now. Some may disagree, saying many of the choices they made were forced upon them, either from parents or by getting in a situation where whatever choice was available to us, was an unwanted choice. Although this feels like we didn’t have a choice, the truth is, we always have a choice.
Maybe our choices were motivated from not wanting to experience the negative consequences others placed on us, or from making many choices that eventually lead us down a path where whatever choices were available, are unwanted, and although that feels like it wasn’t really our choice, it was.

Many of our choices come from being indoctrinated with our parents beliefs and ideologies regarding culture, religion, and community living. We could have chosen differently, but sometimes, when we are young, we’re not even aware there is another choice, and sometimes it’s simply not wanting to experience unwanted consequences that may arise from making a different choice.
We were and still are, motivated to different choices for many different reasons, whether it’s to keep someone else happy, to feel part of the group, to be liked by others, to be admired, or to be loved. Our choices, whatever they may be, for whatever reason, are usually based on what we believe is the best choice at that time, the choice we think will bring us closest to what we are wanting or what will make us happy.

It can be worth while, taking the time to ponder what it is that motivates our choices. For example, if it’s important to always have the approval of those around us, we put ourselves in an almost impossible position, for now our choices are based on what we think others expect or think is best for us, rather that what we think and feel is best for us.
In the beginning it may feel reassuring to have other peoples approval over the choices we make, but no other is really in a better position than us, to decide what is best for us, even if we think that they are.

Always seeking others opinions over what, how, and when we should be doing anything, erodes confidence, making it very difficult to make decisions on our own as we move forward through time. Taking advice from others can also lead to blaming if things don’t turn out as planned, preventing us from taking responsibility for our own choices, learning from them, changing, and making different choices where required. Blaming others may feel better in the short-term, but rarely moves us in the direction of what we’re wanting.

I’m not suggesting we should never seek advice from another, as it can be very helpful to listen to what others have to say if they’re positively focused, especially if they have achieved something you are desiring for yourself, but in the end, the final decision should be ours.

Knowing you are free to choose, and in control of your own life is paramount to really being happy, for as long as we believe anyone else has power over us, or knows better than you what you should or should not be doing, you cannot be truly happy.
For just as you came into this physical world free, you will leave this physical world free, and everything else in between, is your choice.
Are you making the choices that are in YOUR best interests??

And so our journey continues….

Some truths about marriage…

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Babe&MeLaugh
Marriage means different things to different people, but it is generally accepted by most, that it is a commitment between two people, into an intimate relationship that excludes all others and lasts, “till death do us part”.

Well, that’s a very nice idea in a perfect world, actually, that’s a nice idea in any world. The question that’s interesting to ask is, is it really possible in the days that we are now living?
Absolutely yes, it’s completely possible, especially if that’s what we’re wanting, so why the high incidence of separation? As you can imagine, there are millions of reasons why people may separate, but often, there tends to be misconceptions or misguided beliefs about life, marriage, and relationships that contribute to this, therefore causing a flow on effect of smaller disagreements, and eventually more serious incidents.

Addressing misconceptions or false beliefs, not just the symptoms, is key, for running around trying to deal with the symptoms without addressing the deeper underlying causes, does not usually work, or only works in the short-term.
As you eradicate one symptom, another one rears its head, for the underlined cause is still there, and has not been dealt with.

A major misconceptions or false belief is, that it’s another person’s job to keep us happy. Now it goes without saying that most want to have uplifting and positive interactions with those around them, and that is a great desire, but if you are relying on others to always provide you with this, you get yourself, and whoever you are interacting with, in a very difficult position, for now you require them to behave in specific ways, before you allow yourself to be happy.

This is a sure way to stifle any relationship, for when you start requiring specific behaviour from others, you give them the responsibility for making you happy, rather than being responsible and in control, of your own happiness. Living in this way is like being on a rollercoaster, for you have made your happiness dependent on what the other is, or is not doing. For the person expected to behave in specific ways to please the other, this is very tiresome, and over time, becomes a burden that leads to resentment.
I’m not saying it’s not nice when people are behaving in ways we find to be wonderful, of course it is, and yes, we’d be crazy not to be happy about that when it happens, but when this is a prerequisite we require before allowing ourselves to be happy, we’re in for a rough ride.
Our true power and freedom comes from being able to be happy, apart from what others are doing. I know it isn’t always easy when coming from a life experience where you needed to behave in ways to make those around you happy, where there were often strong negative consequences if we did not. I suppose it’s natural that we often follow the same path that we were brought up with, but part of growing up, is questioning the beliefs that have been passed to us and deciding for ourselves, how we want to live our life now!

Are the beliefs that have been passed to me by my family, my community or my religion relevant to the life I’m living now? These questions can only be asked and answered by each individual, for no other is in a better position, to decide what is best for you, than you are. When you allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they really are, not just in marriage, but in all relationships, and you make it your job to keep yourself happy apart from how others are or are not behaving, you are a pure joy to be around!
For true love is synonymous with freedom, and freedom is at the very core of who we really are!

And so our journey continues….