Relationships

Is being “Right” more important to me than being Happy???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

SoulFireQuote
This is my reply to a comment from a previous post about being HAPPY and here’s the link if you’d like to read it, but I like to think this stands on its own whether or not you read the previous post.

Yes…..Most people love the feeling of being right!!! What we believe is right depends on our beliefs, experiences, and level of knowing….So what is right in one person’s mind is not right in another’s, everything is open to interpretation based on where we are vibrationally. That’s why it’s a futile endeavour to spend time trying to convince others of our rightness and their wrongness, for what is true and right for each of us will depend on our focus which has attracted our life experiences becoming the truth we are living, even if it isn’t the ultimate truth.

It’s also important to know we’ll be attracting many unwanted circumstances by arguing our point as the Law of Attraction responds to all the vibrations we’re sending out during these and all other types of interactions bringing us more of the same!!! It’s a good idea to ask oneself if we’re liking the current conversation that’s taking place, and if we would like similar interactions that feel the same in the future???

In relation to others saying “I just want them to be happy,” what people often mean is, “This person plays a pivotal part in my life, and although I do want them to be happy, when they aren’t I find it very difficult to maintain a good feeling vibrational place….So in order for me to feel happy I need to see them happy, and if they really cared about me they would do this so I can once again be happy as I see them happy.”
And I say…..Holy Moses, not much kills good relationships faster than expecting another to provide what we all know deep down we should be providing for ourselves!!
I know this isn’t always easy to do….Especially with the ones that are so dear to us, but being “selfish” and making how we feel our top priority, is more unselfish than many may think. By looking after and making an effort to feel as good as we can while those around us are not, now we have so much good to offer them. And sometimes it’s watching another we love and respect that’s able to feel good in the face of unwanted circumstances that gives us the inspiration to do the same….
But even if it doesn’t at lest we know we haven’t wallowed around in the unwanted mud with them creating unwanted circumstances for ourselves, and helping to add power and momentum to their unwanted situation!!!

Some may call that selfish….I call it “KNOWING!!!”

And so it is….

I’ve got one less problem without you…..OK???

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CrackedCity
These are the lyrics to a popular song right now, and as I listened to it, it made me think about what they were saying.

I’ve got one less problem without you, well maybe yes, and maybe no…. That depends entirely on our focus, don’t you think???
And as the title suggests, the answer or solution is to simply remove that unwanted person from our experience and all our problems (related to them) will be gone!! Whether this is a solution that’s likely to work in the long-term, depends entirely on where we are vibrationally when we take whatever action we’ve decided to take.

So let’s put a hypothetical situation forward as I seem to be liking doing that at the moment.
Say there’s someone in our recent experience we have a reasonable amount of contact with that’s behaving in a way that we’ve decided through the living of our life, is no longer in alignment with who we are, what we’re about and what we’re wanting to experience.

When taking action in relation to removing someone from our experience, if we’re feeling any negative emotion that’s strong in intensity that we’ve been feeling for some time, (achieving power and momentum of thought) this is a good indication we haven’t completely released resistance we’ve had from whatever has happened during this relationship which means we have a very good chance of attracting similar people or relationships in our future experience that have many similar characteristics to the relationship we’ve just left behind!!
That reminds me of a saying that speaks exactly to this truth, different places, different faces, same results.

On the opposite end of the scale, if we’ve made an effort to move ourselves into a better feeling place by working through our negative emotions and making peace with whatever has happened, we can move forward in a more positive way which means we don’t usually repeat the same experiences over and over because we’re gradually clearing the resistance we’ve got going on which is sometimes what attracted such a relationship in the first place. Action from more of a positive feeling place allows more of what we’re really wanting to experience in a relationship to flow into our experience!!

Many may say, I cannot make peace with what’s happened because what they did was wrong, and I will not pretend it was anything else.
And I say, moving to a better feeling place does not mean that what someone did was something we agree with, it’s about knowing that by holding onto resentment towards others, the Law of Attraction responds to the strong vibration we’re emitting, and if our vibration is not improved, we will be the receiver of similar circumstances again.
It’s only for our own benefit that one would make the effort to feel better, and any benefit that others may experience from our improved vibrational place is just an added bonus.

I know the relationships we have with others are complex and continually changing from day to day, one day things can be great, whereas the next day maybe not so great, but no matter how things are unfolding, we are the ones that hold the power in relation to our own experience and the relationships we’re having. We do not have the power to control what others say or do, but we have complete control over our thoughts and how we feel, and when we start to exercise control over what we’re vibrationally sending out, that changes everything!

Whether we’re continuing with the relationships we currently have or moving into new relationships, as long as we’re doing our best to move into a better feeling place at any given moment……That has to be good enough…..

And so it is…..

Am I being a good Husband or Wife???

The Purest Soul1 Comment

Babe&MeLaugh
That depends on a few different factors such as, what we believe being a good husband or wife involves and whether or not it’s important for us to live up to those beliefs.

In the past I have felt quite uncomfortable when people have suggested I’m being a good housewife. Of course when this is said it’s usually coming from a good feeling place….But it does make me think about the whole husband, wife, and marriage relationships many of us are living.

Traditionally, being a good Husband or Wife usually meant that we would do what was prescribed or largely accepted by the society, community or culture we grew up within, that we may have felt we needed to adhere too, in order to be seen as appropriate or good?

I’m not suggesting many of these values are not working, especially if they are what we’re really wanting to do within our relationships, but it’s not ideal if we’re putting what we are really wanting secondary to what everyone else thinks we should be doing, or what we think others think we should be doing!

Although all the relationships we’re within are constantly changing and we are continually coming to new and improved decisions on how to move forward in the most positive ways we can from wherever we are vibrationally, it’s true to say, if we are always putting someone else’s needs before our own needs, not so much because we want too, but more because we feel this is the way we have to behave otherwise we aren’t a good husband or wife…..Well…..I don’t know???

And yes, I know there needs to be a bit of give and take in every relationship, but if we don’t get our thought in the best feeling place we can when we do compromise, so that it becomes not as much of a compromise, but more something we are wanting to do for ourselves, and the other, this is a much better place to be coming from. If we often do things just for the other without getting ourselves in a good feeling place, we can expect a lot of appreciation in return for our efforts, which we often don’t receive because the other believes we should have wanted to do it, hence two slightly annoyed people!!

It does not matter what type of relationships we’re talking about, getting the best out of them always requires a similar formula.

~Above all other things, be true to who we are and what we’re wanting, and listen to the Inner Guidance we’re receiving from within through our emotions, for this is guiding us to everything we’re wanting, not just in our relationships but in everything.
~Know what it is that we want to bring into our relationship that’s going to make it more Awesome, not just what we want the other to be like or to give.
~Make it a priority to be responsible for our own happiness, rather than relying on someone else to provide that happiness for us.
~Allow others freedom to be themselves, if we are trying to change them, this does not feel good for either party and can cause relationships that were good to turn not so good because of focus on everything about the other we’re not liking!! Remember, the Law of Attraction is responding to our dominant thoughts and feelings on all subjects that are important to us, so if we focus strongly on everything we don’t like about someone, even if it is someone we love deeply, so we receive more of what we are not wanting.
~Sometimes we just need to chill out and relax a bit and not take everything so seriously, choose what’s really important and let the not so important stuff go.
~Know that all usually works out for the best, even when it’s sometimes hard to see how straight away….
It isn’t supposed to be so much hard work, it’s supposed to be fun!!

And so it is….

Good relationships are all about compromise….Well, that depends???

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MoonStar
Whether or not this statement is true or not for us, depends on what our belief or definition of compromise is, and what we believe a good relationship should be.

It would be fairly accurate to say that many people’s definition of compromise is having to make concessions or accept something less than what we may have truly been wanting, against ones will for the benefit of finding a suitable resolution or agreement of opinion, between two or more people.

Most pronounce this to be a wonderful thing that makes relationships work, and of course we cannot expect to have everything our own way if we are wanting to have a healthy and happy relationship where both parties are feeling valued and respected, but whether this is a positive aspect in the relationships we currently have, depends entirely on how much one may be having to “compromise” and how they feel when they’re doing this.

The most important factor that supersedes everything else is, “How am I feeling about the compromise I’m making now?” which will be influenced by many different variables such as;
~ How often am I compromising in this relationship?
~ How much does my partner compromise, is there a fairly equal reciprocation between both parties?
~ How strongly did I want things to work out how I envisioned?
~ How big is the compromise I’m making, and how long will it last for?
There will also be many other factors that will be specific to different situations and relationships.

As long as we’re interacting with other people, we will all need to navigate our way through differences of opinions of what we are wanting, but I don’t think it’s hard to know, if we feel we’re having to constantly compromise on circumstances that we feel strongly about, and that it isn’t evenly shared between both parties, this is when resentment can grow, especially if it ins’t addressed and talked about in the early stages of feeling resentful.

If resentment is not dealt with, it doesn’t usually go away by itself. Felt and caught in the early stages, it’s possible to easily move ourselves into a better feeling vibrational place by focusing on all the positive aspects of our situation, whereas if not dealt with, it grows in intensity with each similar experience that unfolds, until as many people say, “The last straw that breaks the camels back” often happens.

Although getting things out in the open can often be good, and can help us to move forward in a more positive direction, if our negative emotions have grown very strong with a lot of power and momentum behind them, it’s very hard to talk in a calm and productive way, and communication can become a bit….well, explosive!! It’s not the end of the world if this happens, once both parties have had time to calm down, that can be when some positive progress can be made, if both parties are still wanting a positive resolution.
If we’re feeling like we have to constantly compromise within our relationships, it is not ideal. The best option in these circumstances is to make an effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place rather than agreeing to what others want and then feeling resentful because we’ve had to give up something we’re wanting for the other.
If we’re finding it hard to move to a positive feeling place and cannot accommodate what another wants happily, it’s better to spend more time discussing the situation and trying to find a solution together that both will be happy with, because it’s always usually there, it’s just a matter of taking the time and effort to find it!

So although we may initially feel some negative emotion when we’re compromising, it’s not until we move all our thought regarding whatever we’re compromising about into a positive feeling vibrational place, that it’s no longer a compromise, now it is something we are wanting to do for ourselves, not just something we’re doing for someone else.
That’s a great vibrational place to be in, and that’s what I would call “A win, win situation!”

And so it is….

The art of communication is….???

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Jack&Sahara
Communication happens between all living things. The question is not whether this is so, but more are we aware this is so?    Paulette De-Har

 

As we start interacting with others, a group or individual with the strongest dominant vibration dictates how the conversation goes and everyone else usually adjusts their vibration to be part of the conversation. For most, this happens at an unconscious level when we have a desire to participate in a conversation and to listen to what others have to say, even if it’s not where we usually stand on that subject. We may feel we have something valuable to add to the conversation or we may want to persuade others to our way of thinking, sometimes we simply do not want to be rude. Think about some of the interactions you’ve had in the past, there is often one that is more dominant as this is a natural occurrence when communicating.
Are you aware this is happening?
Knowing this helps us to be able to make more informed choices about whether we allow ourselves to be part of a conversation that may not be helping us or others to create what we are wanting in our lives.
Is the dominant person positively or negatively focused?
It never does any good to be part of a conversation that is dominated in a negative direction, and if we cannot maintain a positive vibrational place, this is not a conversation that’s usually worth continuing with.
How are you feeling as this conversation progresses?
As this conversation continues, positive emotion indicates we’re creating wanted circumstances in our life, whereas negative emotion indicates we’re creating unwanted circumstances in our life, every time.
Some may say it’s impossible not to come into contact with negative people while living our lives, and yes, I would definitely agree with that statement, but it’s not about trying to eradicate every negative person or situation, but more about how we react to these encounters that determines what we are pre-paving in our future experiences.
No two people are in exactly the same vibrational place ( because how boring would that be anyway! ) So there will always be differences between us, but it’s interesting to take note of who we do come into contact with, as it is a reflection of what we’ve got going on vibrationally.
Don’t let me give you the impression we never want to come into contact with negative people, for they always give us a wonderful opportunity, a chance to take control of our mind and how we feel, by not letting others negativeness drag us down. It can also help us to focus more intensely and powerfully on what we are wanting.
Or we can choose to observe others with negative judgements, blame or criticism, therefore focusing more strongly on interactions we’re not wanting that the Law of Attraction is responding to in-kind and giving us more of.
If we do surround ourselves or find ourselves with many negative people around us, I think it’s worthwhile asking one’s self why this is? If we’re able to maintain a positive place while in their company, there is usually a backlash afterwards of extreme exhaustion or feeling low for it takes great power to maintain a good feeling place amongst many negative ones for any period of time, but it is preferable to letting our vibration be brought down to their level.
So everyone sits in a general vibrational place which can usually be explained as our common demeanour or mood that we’re often in. We may have ups and downs, but there is always a general mood that we naturally return to over and over and it can be at any emotional place from appreciation and love all the way down to hopelessness and depression or anywhere in between.
Although people can be encouraged out of their general vibrational place by others, if no change of thought takes place, the shift will only be temporary and their vibration will return to their normal place once the influencer leaves. It often takes awareness and the desire to feel good above all other things and apart from what others are doing to make any lasting vibrational movement.
You often hear people say opposites attract and although this is often true, especially in the beginning, if similarities are not found on core beliefs, these relationships do not usually last. There must be some vibrational harmony within any relationship otherwise it is often a very unpleasant relationship to be in.
So it’s interesting to look at the interactions and relationships we’re involved in, both positive and negative for it is an indication of where we are and what we are attracting through our thoughts and emotions. (vibration)
For it’s not until we know where we are and how we got here, that we can see with more clarity where we want to go and how to get there!
And so our journey together continues….