Am I being a good Husband or Wife???

Babe&MeLaugh
That depends on a few different factors such as, what we believe being a good husband or wife involves and whether or not it’s important for us to live up to those beliefs.

In the past I have felt quite uncomfortable when people have suggested I’m being a good housewife. Of course when this is said it’s usually coming from a good feeling place….But it does make me think about the whole husband, wife, and marriage relationships many of us are living.

Traditionally, being a good Husband or Wife usually meant that we would do what was prescribed or largely accepted by the society, community or culture we grew up within, that we may have felt we needed to adhere too, in order to be seen as appropriate or good?

I’m not suggesting many of these values are not working, especially if they are what we’re really wanting to do within our relationships, but it’s not ideal if we’re putting what we are really wanting secondary to what everyone else thinks we should be doing, or what we think others think we should be doing!

Although all the relationships we’re within are constantly changing and we are continually coming to new and improved decisions on how to move forward in the most positive ways we can from wherever we are vibrationally, it’s true to say, if we are always putting someone else’s needs before our own needs, not so much because we want too, but more because we feel this is the way we have to behave otherwise we aren’t a good husband or wife…..Well…..I don’t know???

And yes, I know there needs to be a bit of give and take in every relationship, but if we don’t get our thought in the best feeling place we can when we do compromise, so that it becomes not as much of a compromise, but more something we are wanting to do for ourselves, and the other, this is a much better place to be coming from. If we often do things just for the other without getting ourselves in a good feeling place, we can expect a lot of appreciation in return for our efforts, which we often don’t receive because the other believes we should have wanted to do it, hence two slightly annoyed people!!

It does not matter what type of relationships we’re talking about, getting the best out of them always requires a similar formula.

~Above all other things, be true to who we are and what we’re wanting, and listen to the Inner Guidance we’re receiving from within through our emotions, for this is guiding us to everything we’re wanting, not just in our relationships but in everything.
~Know what it is that we want to bring into our relationship that’s going to make it more Awesome, not just what we want the other to be like or to give.
~Make it a priority to be responsible for our own happiness, rather than relying on someone else to provide that happiness for us.
~Allow others freedom to be themselves, if we are trying to change them, this does not feel good for either party and can cause relationships that were good to turn not so good because of focus on everything about the other we’re not liking!! Remember, the Law of Attraction is responding to our dominant thoughts and feelings on all subjects that are important to us, so if we focus strongly on everything we don’t like about someone, even if it is someone we love deeply, so we receive more of what we are not wanting.
~Sometimes we just need to chill out and relax a bit and not take everything so seriously, choose what’s really important and let the not so important stuff go.
~Know that all usually works out for the best, even when it’s sometimes hard to see how straight away….
It isn’t supposed to be so much hard work, it’s supposed to be fun!!

And so it is….

Choose your battles….And let the rest slide!!

Writing
Whoever originally said this definitely knew what they were talking about, and although this is good advice in relation to all the relationships we’re involved in, it’s especially relevant to the relationships we have with the younger members of our society, our beautiful children!

I like to rephrase as follows;

Decide what is really important to you….That which you are not prepared to compromise on, and stand strongly and positively by it.
In other words, be prepared to stand up strongly for those things that are at the top of our list of priorities, that we believe are the most important aspects we wish our children and others we have relationships with to know and understand. What we feel is necessary to live a happy and healthy life….And let the rest slide.
In other words, don’t make every little thing a big issue, choose what’s most important, and chill about the rest!!

When we stand strongly and positively on what is important to us, this sends a very clear message of what we find to be acceptable and unacceptable. This doesn’t mean that everyone is going to act in a way we find to be acceptable, but at least there’s no ambiguity, and this is especially important when dealing with children. The clearer and stronger we are with what we are expecting, with the ability to communicate it in a positive way, the better the chances are that our point of view will be listened to, thought about, and possibly acted upon?

We should always be open to discussion and negotiation whenever asking our children to carry out something we have requested, especially when questioned on why we’ve come to the decisions we have. Just saying, “Because I said so,” is a very unacceptable answer to give to anyone that is questioning us on why they should carry out something we have asked them to do. Our children are not robots that have come here purely to be told what to do by their parents, no matter how well-meaning parents are, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not many of our young ones are prepared to follow anyone blindly anymore!!

No one learns anything by being told what to do and following instructions blindly….Well that’s not true….Much is learnt by doing such things….
Learning to follow what everyone else wants us to do erodes our self-confidence in ourselves and doesn’t prepare us very well for when we have to go out on our own and make decisions for ourselves.

So being strong and not following what others are saying blindly is a very good quality to have, although it can make dealing with our children a bit more challenging. We should have good reasons why we are requiring them to do what we are wanting, and we should be prepared to take the time to explain how we have come to those decisions. Rules just for the sake of obedience and conformity are crazy and makes life unbearable for all concerned.

I know it can be a difficult to know what to do sometimes, especially if we have gained everyone else’s opinion on what they think we should or should not be doing, and yes, we can often get good ideas from others, but when everyone’s had their say, we must make our own decision on what we believe is best for our specific circumstances, no one else is in a better position than us to know this.
Once we have come to our decision, the most important thing we can do is put all our positive focused thought behind the decisions we’ve made. Do not split your energy by second guessing yourself all the time by asking “What if, I don’t know, maybe?”
When you split your energy in this way, you achieve mixed results because the Law of Attraction has responded to your mixed up unsure vibration with similar results.

It’s not possible to make the “Wrong decision” because any decision that’s given focused positive thought for some time, will reap good results, and I say “That is so Awesome!!”

And so it is….

Good relationships are all about compromise….Well, that depends???

MoonStar
Whether or not this statement is true or not for us, depends on what our belief or definition of compromise is, and what we believe a good relationship should be.

It would be fairly accurate to say that many people’s definition of compromise is having to make concessions or accept something less than what we may have truly been wanting, against ones will for the benefit of finding a suitable resolution or agreement of opinion, between two or more people.

Most pronounce this to be a wonderful thing that makes relationships work, and of course we cannot expect to have everything our own way if we are wanting to have a healthy and happy relationship where both parties are feeling valued and respected, but whether this is a positive aspect in the relationships we currently have, depends entirely on how much one may be having to “compromise” and how they feel when they’re doing this.

The most important factor that supersedes everything else is, “How am I feeling about the compromise I’m making now?” which will be influenced by many different variables such as;
~ How often am I compromising in this relationship?
~ How much does my partner compromise, is there a fairly equal reciprocation between both parties?
~ How strongly did I want things to work out how I envisioned?
~ How big is the compromise I’m making, and how long will it last for?
There will also be many other factors that will be specific to different situations and relationships.

As long as we’re interacting with other people, we will all need to navigate our way through differences of opinions of what we are wanting, but I don’t think it’s hard to know, if we feel we’re having to constantly compromise on circumstances that we feel strongly about, and that it isn’t evenly shared between both parties, this is when resentment can grow, especially if it ins’t addressed and talked about in the early stages of feeling resentful.

If resentment is not dealt with, it doesn’t usually go away by itself. Felt and caught in the early stages, it’s possible to easily move ourselves into a better feeling vibrational place by focusing on all the positive aspects of our situation, whereas if not dealt with, it grows in intensity with each similar experience that unfolds, until as many people say, “The last straw that breaks the camels back” often happens.

Although getting things out in the open can often be good, and can help us to move forward in a more positive direction, if our negative emotions have grown very strong with a lot of power and momentum behind them, it’s very hard to talk in a calm and productive way, and communication can become a bit….well, explosive!! It’s not the end of the world if this happens, once both parties have had time to calm down, that can be when some positive progress can be made, if both parties are still wanting a positive resolution.
If we’re feeling like we have to constantly compromise within our relationships, it is not ideal. The best option in these circumstances is to make an effort to move to a better feeling vibrational place rather than agreeing to what others want and then feeling resentful because we’ve had to give up something we’re wanting for the other.
If we’re finding it hard to move to a positive feeling place and cannot accommodate what another wants happily, it’s better to spend more time discussing the situation and trying to find a solution together that both will be happy with, because it’s always usually there, it’s just a matter of taking the time and effort to find it!

So although we may initially feel some negative emotion when we’re compromising, it’s not until we move all our thought regarding whatever we’re compromising about into a positive feeling vibrational place, that it’s no longer a compromise, now it is something we are wanting to do for ourselves, not just something we’re doing for someone else.
That’s a great vibrational place to be in, and that’s what I would call “A win, win situation!”

And so it is….