The following post is in answer to a question that was asked in relation to the post “A little word about living in the present moment.” If you would like to view the previous post here is the link,but I like to think that this post stands on its own whether or not you view the previous post. The question was as follows:
For me this is one of the toughest lessons to teach myself. I truly relate to celebrating small improvements, however, this still remains my greatest personal challenge. I would be interested to hear your perspective on how to remain focused in the present moment when there and those around me still wanting to discuss negative experiences from the past?
1. I have trouble recalling what exactly happened.
2. I don’t want to allow myself to return to a place of negative feelings.
Thank-you for your question Sherryn!
My answer is…
I totally hear what you’re saying, and I know it’s not always easy staying focused in the present moment, especially when there are many things going on around you that you may be focusing on and having many different thoughts about.
It’s usually all the thoughts we’re having about whatever it is we’re observing that maybe preventing us from staying present, especially if our thoughts are judgemental or negatively based.
Since others are bringing to you negative experiences from the past, it may be an indication that whatever they are bringing to you is something you also need to move to a better feeling place about?
Only you will know this because only you know how you feel in relation to whatever information they are bringing to you. And even if it is something you feel you need to move vibrationally on, it is for you to choose if that is the time and place you wish to try to do it, because you now have someone else’s input and vibration to deal with.
Sometimes it can be better or easier to move on subjects when you are on your own with your own thoughts, for doing it around others that are negatively focused takes immense power and strength of focus to do, for not only are you trying to move yourself to a better feeling place, now you may have taken on the task or burden of having to move them to a better feeling place also.
The fact that you are not remembering clearly what they are trying to rehash or bring up again is a great sign, it’s a sign you have not held on to negative emotions in relation to this experience, you have moved forward, and thinking about this even if it happened in the not too distant past feels like another life ago.
I would not try to remember negative details about something that you know you have moved forward on. If the person you are communicating with is important to you, you may wish to try and generally steer them in a more positive direction… but remember some people will not be easily moved from where they are, for they believe strongly in their perspective of what has happened and will point out to you, all the evidence that’s around them to support and justify how they feel and where they are! If this happens you are better to either casually redirect the conversation to something completely different, but if that doesn’t work, leave the conversation entirely!
This is not rude and can be done in a pleasant way. ( everyone needs to go to the toilet sooner or later ) Hehehe!!
But seriously, this is the kindest action you can take, for you do not do yourself any favours by focusing on what someone else has to say regarding everything that isn’t working in their life, and it definitely doesn’t do them any good either for they just create more power and momentum behind what they are not wanting by speaking of it to others, for the Law of Attraction is responding to their vibration in-kind just as it is to ours.
If they are trying to bring your attention to everything they perceive is not working in your life, do not take part in any way in these types of conversations. We cannot listen to people saying such things without including this is our vibration, especially if they are someone who is important to us or that we respect. You will know and you will feel if people are giving you advice and it’s coming from a pure non-resistant place, even if it isn’t 100% positive.
For me the easiest way I find to bring myself back into the present moment, is to find something around me, anything, it doesn’t really matter what it is, and focus intently and positively upon it to the exclusion of everything else, for this must bring you into the now, even if it is for a short period of time to begin with, for as you practice it more and more it starts to become more of your normal way of being!!
But be warned, many will see you as strange or weird, for they will say, “look at that happy one over there, why are they so happy? Look at everything that is happening around them!” And you will know what you have done to get there, and through knowing the power of who you are, you will be an example to others of what is possible, for when we get power and momentum behind us, it’s so good!!
And so our journey together continues…
Relationships
I need to forgive someone… Or do I???
Whether we need to forgive ourselves or someone else depends entirely on where we are vibrationally. (thoughts and emotions we’re having in relation to subjects that are important to us)
If we’re in the lower emotional states, for example, depression, anger or rage, just to name a few, it’s most unlikely we’ll have the ability to forgive ourselves or anyone else from these places.
I do not say this with the purpose of making anyone feel bad, for if we find ourselves in this place, it does not have to be a permanent state for us to be in, for we have the ability to move into a better feeling place.
What many of us may have been doing, is waiting for circumstances to improve so we can then have a better feeling response to whatever we’re observing, and of course, it’s wonderful to observe and focus on good feeling experiences, but if we require others to change their behaviour to what we believe they should or should not be doing, without being prepared to move into a better feeling place apart from what others are doing, we give our power over how we feel to others, and that rarely feels good.
If we continue to require others to behave how we want them to before allowing ourselves to feel better, we condemn ourselves to feel less than good, for it’s not possible to control everyone “out there” doing whatever they’re doing.
So if what we think and how we feel creates or pre-paves our future experiences, (and it does) it’s important to take control of your thoughts by paying attention to how you feel when you think a thought.
It’s almost impossible to try to censor every thought that comes into our mind, for this just makes one stressed and worried about the negative thoughts we’re thinking, it’s much easier to let the thoughts come and notice how you’re feeling for this will let you know where you are on any subject you’re contemplating. Once we know where we are, we can gradually move to a better feeling place if that’s what we’re wanting.
I understand we may aspire to move directly and quickly to where we want to be, but if there’s a big emotional, vibrational difference between where we are and where we want to be, we may need to move little by little each time we think about that subject.
I know, it’s very annoying that we can’t be instantly where we want to be, but sometimes it’s good to make peace with this truth for we didn’t come to whatever emotional place we’re in through one or two thoughts, so it makes sense it will take more than one or two thoughts to change it.
Forgiving also comes from a place of believing someone has done something “wrong” that needs forgiving, which in reality is not true.
I am not suggesting when people do “not nice things,” this is good or that we don’t have the right to say what we do and don’t want to experience in our life. But I am saying, if we’re accepting we attract what comes to us through our vibration (thoughts and emotions) that the Law of Attraction is responding to in-kind, then unwanted circumstances have come through our own focused thoughts that we may or may not have been aware of, and even if our reaction was something less than nice, this can only happen if we were in a not good feeling place to begin with.
So acknowledge that you did your best with what you knew at that time, don’t look back and feel guilty or have regrets, for this is a form of self-torture that never gets us anywhere you want to be.
This is not a way to disregard “not nice” behaviour and just continue a cycle of behaviour over and over, NO, it is accepting what we did or what others have done in the past, learning from those experiences and letting them go so we can move forward positively.
If we are in the higher emotional places such a joy, belief and knowledge to name a few, forgiveness is not usually required, or can be passed through extremely quickly to move to one’s normal general vibrational place!
Does it sound like a place worth making an effort to move towards?
What do you think?
And so our journey together continues….
Am I accepting of others???
Often when people talk about accepting something, they are usually referring to having to accept unwanted situations that are happening in their life, and in the lives of others.
It’s true it’s virtually impossible to look in the face of something strongly unwanted and “jump for joy” about it, but we do have the ability to gradually move ourselves into a better feeling place regarding it, although many have never exercised their power to do so, and instead have focused intensely on everything in the world they feel is “bad or wrong,” therefore attracting more evidence through the powerful Law of Attraction, of that which they are not wanting.
There may be circumstances and people we’re involved with that may be doing things we feel are not in our or their best interests. In these instances it’s sometimes difficult to remove ourselves from the situation, so often the best call of action is to make an effort to bring ourselves into a better feeling place regarding whatever they are or are not doing.
Many may say,”I cannot do that because I strongly disagree with the choices they’re making” and although we may feel this way, people will often make their choices, with or without our input and judgements, so what is the alternative?
To try and manipulate them to make the choices we feel they should be making, to stay miserable about the choices they’re making, or to move to a better feeling place about the choices they’re making? For me, there is no choice. Although this is a choice, for me it’s No real choice.
What I mean is apart from just letting people be, and choosing to feel good apart from the choices they’re making, the other two choices never get you anywhere you really want to be!
For example, some people may feel that manipulating or convincing others to take a different action would be a more desired outcome than letting them make their own choice, and if we’re coming from a positive place of putting a different more wanted scenario forward if someone has asked for our advice, of course, this is wonderful and may likely be considered when one was making a choice. Whereas if we’re negatively focused and judging someone as “wrong” and trying to convince them to our way of thinking, this is not that good, and they’d be well advised not to take advice coming from someone in such a resistant place.
If we do manage to persuade someone to make a different choice against their better judgement, there is usually a backlash to this of negative emotions, either expressed outward towards others or inwards at the self.
Now, just being miserable about the choices others are making is not a good option, especially when we have the ability to feel better unless of course, we are enjoying being miserable and attracting similar feeling circumstances into our experience?
The easiest way I know how to move to a better place, is to acknowledge we’re all different, with different desires, and we cannot always know how a choice will unfold, for what unfolds, whether it’s positive or negative, may be exactly what is needed to move us forward in a more positive direction.
Sometimes we need to make choices that send us in a direction we don’t want to be in just to know where we really do want to be! We can always move forward in a positive direction no matter what choices we make, and there’s nothing like experiencing strongly unwanted circumstances that may help us to refocus us more in the direction we’re wanting to go!
Even a so-called “bad choice” can be brought to a better place by working through any resistance that comes up by doing our best to stay positive, it’s not so much about the choices we make, but how we react as unwanted, resistant circumstances turn up that determines the results we achieve.
The last alternative is not to be around people who are choosing things that go against what we believe in, and for others we don’t know very well, this is easy, but with those we are close too, this is not always an option.
As far as I can see, the only option is to wish them the best with whatever they are choosing and to accept that they must do what they feel is best for them, just as we are choosing what we feel is best for us….
For what else have we come into this Physical world for, if not to choose that which we are wanting???
And so our journey together continues….
Can we receive respect…. If we don’t give respect???
No, true respect for another must go both ways. If we expect respect without giving respect, we will be sadly disappointed.
Some may believe the longer you have been here in this physical body, all younger ones should respect you. Well, it’s nice to be nice, that’s for sure, but you must give respect to receive respect, it’s not an automatically given commodity based purely on your length of time you’ve been alive, you get back what you give out.
You cannot condemn any part of society or an individual, and expect to receive anything positive back from them. No matter what generation we are speaking of, it often happens that previous generations focus on all they think the younger generations are doing, that they feel isn’t right compared to how they lived their lives. Its like some take it as a personal criticism of how they lived their lives?
Who among us can say that every single thing we’ve done in our lives was done in the best possible way, and that it’s the only way?
Of course most of us were doing our best, but we must acknowledge as we move forward in our lives, there are always better ways that we can do things, and that’s what our beautiful young ones are trying to do.
When we close ourselves off to the possibility of improvements, we can become very judgemental and set in our ways, as if wanting an improvement in life is bad or wrong?
If no one came forward wanting any improvement in life, what would be the point of life? There would be no point.
It’s a good idea to respect those we interact with no matter their age, gender, race, religion, or lifestyle choice, but if we do find this difficult our best action is to acknowledge we’re all different and let our negative judgements of others go. We all come from different perspectives, and although we may not want to choose what others are choosing, they are free as we are, to choose what they believe is best for them based on what they’re wanting and how they want to live.
Do your best to make peace with what others are doing, whether you like what they are choosing or not, and avoid focusing on what they are doing that you do not wish to bring into your world, for the Law of Attraction will bring you more evidence of that which you are focused upon, every time!
It’s true when things change it often brings wanted and unwanted circumstances to the forefront, this is the process of life and isn’t a problem when we know staying positive will work through any resistant we have and get us where we’re wanting to go.
We cannot stay in the past, things must move forward, we cannot control what everyone else is doing, but there is a choice of focusing on the positive aspects of what’s new or the negative aspects of what’s new.
When we transition into new circumstances, problems do arise, and with problems come solutions, but to see the solution we desire, we must be close to the vibrational vicinity of the solution, which means getting in a place where we believe we will find a solution.
We are all getting there, whether we’re aware of it or not, for in the times that are before us it’s getting harder and harder to be complacent with our thoughts as manifestations are turning up with increased frequency and intensity letting us know where we are, and in a sense asking us, “This is what you’ve been giving thought to, would you like more of it?”
If it’s wanted, yes, yes, yes, keep thinking what you’re thinking! If it’s unwanted, do your best to move to a better feeling place or focus on things in your life that are working well, but don’t stress about it.
You really can’t get it wrong, for every experience both wanted and unwanted has in it the opportunity of moving to better and better places, and as we start to see this in our lives and the lives of those around us, we really put ourselves in a position to experience more of the wonderful life we came here to live!!
And so our journey together continues….
Special does not mean better… Or does it???
Of course it doesn’t, but unfortunately many have come to the conclusion that to be special means your better or superior than others. As far back as I can remember, I felt there was something special inside of me, even though I wasn’t really sure what that specialness was, but it didn’t take me long to realise that everyone had that same specialness inside of them too, but that it was expressed differently in each person depending on the opportunities that we attracted and our ability to recognise and act on them.
Why do some feel better or superior to others?
This often comes from our upbringing where we may learn, if you’re not a winner you’re a loser, second is unacceptable, or “my way” is the right and only way, and although this idea has changed a lot in recent times, there are still many that are indoctrinated in these ways.
Of course we want our children to do well, that goes without saying, we want them to reach their potential and to do their best, but when we teach them the belief; if they don’t win they have not succeeded, this is not good. Some are coming from a place where they believe instilling a fear of failing is a good motivating tool, this is very outdated thinking that may have vaguely worked in the past, but No, it is not working any longer.
I am not suggesting we over praise or make everything someone does wonderful when it is not, our beautiful children sense this is off when done and usually rebel against this untruth with extreme behaviours, but what I am saying is, look for the specialness that is within us all, believe in it, look for it, and you will find it, not just in others but in yourself, for it’s often not until you find it within yourself that you can recognise it in others. Look for it when you are in a good feeling place, do not try to find it when you are experiencing strong negative emotion, for you cannot see it at that time, for you are focused in the opposite direction to where that specialness is.
You cannot search for anything for very long before the powerful Law of Attraction will bring you some evidence of that which you are focused on, this I know.
When we come to know who we really are, we come into a full and clear understanding of the awesomeness of us and all others, that is my desire for you!!
And so a journey together continues….
Do you want to share what you know now???
I know there are many who have overcome difficult situations, and have come to a place where we’re understanding the benefit of all we’ve experienced. Nothing can be more life enhancing than experiencing the resistance of your own thought creation and overcoming it, for this takes us to more amazing places that we may not have been able to experience had we not dealt with our unwanted manifestations. Of course we do not create these resistant circumstances on purpose, but they are part of being in physical form in this physical world. There will not be one of us that gets our thought so quickly aligned with our Inner Being and in such a good place, that nothing unwanted will ever come. This is part of accepting being physical, but I will say that we have the ability to hone our thoughts and feelings (vibration) to such a place, that any negative thoughts that are within you show up quickly and intensely, giving you the opportunity to move through your resistance and get to the other side. There will be no holding on to resistance for years and years and living the manifestation of it without awareness, those days will be gone. We’re coming into a time of heightened awareness, I’m sure you’ve noticed there are many coming to know who they really are and how life is really working, and just as a drop hits the ocean and ripples out in all directions, so those of us that know have the same effect.
I feel I have something very important to say about this. I know when we discover wonderful things about life and how it’s working because we’ve experienced it in our own lives, not just in theory but in our reality, we’re overjoyed and excited, and of course we want to share that with everyone we know, especially the ones we hold dearest and love the most, or others we see living highly unwanted circumstances in their lives. But I’m sure many of you have already experienced and know, it’s very difficult to help someone who is sitting vibrationally, a long way away from where you are.
When someone is sitting in a vibrational (emotional) place that’s very different to the other, for example someone that is happy compared to someone who is in rage or anger, it’s very difficult to find anything they agree on for they sit at opposite ends of the emotional scale and are seeing the world from completely different perspectives. Both perspectives are true, for when you’re sitting in a general place over many subjects, whether it be in joy or rage, that’s what’s being presented to you by the Law of Attraction. So people are not joking when they tell you why things are not working out for them, this is their experience, this has become their truth through the power of their own resistant thoughts and they will find it hard to hear anything differently.
So we all have the ability to uplift people, and those that know how life is working are sitting in a very powerful position (power over self, not others) and others feel something about your knowing, even if they’re unsure of what it is they’re feeling. To uplift someone that’s in a substantially different vibrational place from you, you must dominate and control your own vibration by standing firmly in your knowing, and not be encouraged out of your vibrational place by the other persons vibration. When we’re communicating with others, the person with the strongest vibration will always dominate the conversation or group, although it can change as subjects change during a conversation. You know you’ve lost your own vibrational alignment if you start feeling the need to convince others of your point of view and it becomes a disagreement or argument with both parties giving as many examples as they can of why their way is the “right way”.
Nobody likes being told they’re wrong or that they could be doing something in a better way, especially if they’re not seeking this information as this often causes them to justify and explain how and why they’ve got to where they are to try and convince you to their way of thinking.
Because it’s not possible to speak of something with strong emotion without emitting the same vibrational frequency, these types of conversations often set people more firmly in their resistant place which is the opposite of what you are really wanting to do! Now if you do stand firmly in your vibrational place, you will be able to speak the truth you know and they’ll understand what you have to tell them while you’re with them, but what happens when you are not around? Well, they’re often very confused.
Why is this?
We have not come to what we believe in one day or from one thought alone, it has been an accumulation of many similar thoughts, words, and actions over long periods of time that eventually become physical manifestations. Once something has physically manifested, now we are observing it which strengthens our belief in it, then we think and talk about it again, and so the cycle goes on and on.(which is awesome when you’re focused on what you want) What we believe has a lot of momentum and power behind it and will not be simply changed by one or two conversations, and almost never if we don’t have the desire to know and change. So even if you do dominate the vibration of the other encouraging them into your vibrational place, when you leave, their vibration will return to their normal place but they will be confused about what you have told them. This can cause a difficult situation where they want to be with you because it feels so good to be in your presence, but afterwards they’re confused, and may not feel good about what you’ve told them.
I have learnt some very strong lessons from experiences like this. I no longer give advice to anyone unless they’re seeking it, and you can feel when someone is ready to hear. It’s better to just let people be and accept we’re all different, for although words may help when we’re ready to hear them, ultimately we learn through our own life experiences. We all have our own journey and there are many paths to the same destination, so let those who want to hear from you come, but don’t force anything on anyone, for in doing so you make them wrong, and they are not wrong, they are doing the best that they can, just as you and I am!
And so our journey together continues….
Inspiration v’s motivation…. What’s the difference???
Motivation is a term that has been thrown around a lot in the past, it was not uncommon to hear many people proclaiming what we should be doing and saying “let’s get motivated to do this, let’s get motivated to do that,” much to the disdain of people who were sitting in a not very good feeling place and didn’t feel like getting motivated to do anything!! Hehehe (Oops, is that mean of me!)
But seriously, I wouldn’t laugh at someone who was in a bad feeling place because we’ve all been there at one time or another, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. The ones that look at you like you’re an alien for being happy and are hoping the Mothership is going to beam you up so they don’t have to see you anymore. And let’s be honest, even those of us that are normally happy have our down days where a bright-eyed bushy-tailed person comes along but we’re not in a place to appreciate their positiveness.
Ok, so what’s wrong with motivation?
Of course, nothing’s wrong with motivation if it feels good to do something there’s never anything wrong with that, and if you want to call it motivation so be it, it’s all good. But I will say, if you’re having thoughts and ideas that feel very good and exciting, that’s not motivation that’s inspiration!!
So what does motivation mean?
Motivation implies taking action from a slightly resistant place, meaning it’s usually an action we don’t really want to do but feel we have too, to achieve the results we desire. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but if our motivation doesn’t turn into inspiration, it eventually fizzles out, as resistant actions cannot usually be sustained by motivation alone. It’s interesting to observe the results we’ve achieved from being motivated, especially if we’ve been highly externally motivated rather than internally motivated.
What do I mean by being externally or internally motivated?
Being internally motivated is seeking information through one’s own desire to achieve something, and although you may be receiving advice from another, the original desire is inspired from within, so you are asking for the information and this means you’re more open and receptive to hearing and receiving benefit from it. External motivation usually involves people and resources outside of yourself giving you advice and information on what they feel you should be doing to achieve whatever it is you wish to achieve. There is usually less of a feeling of asking and more of a feeling of just being told what to do.
This is not necessarily a negative, it all depends on the person seeking the advice, for most of the time when people are giving advice, they’re usually coming from a good place and trying to help someone, but what’s more important is where the person receiving the advice is vibrationally (emotionally). If they aren’t feeling good about what they feel they must do and they do take action, it’s very unlikely they’ll continue on with it in the long-term, whereas if they’re feeling excited and inspired about the advice they’ve been given, action is taken from this place often reaps much better results and becomes a joy to do rather than a chore.
So motivation always implies different amounts of hard work or struggle and we’re often more externally motivated, and the harder it is to maintain. I’m not suggesting you can’t maintain or get results through motivation, you can, it’s just that it often involves hard work that isn’t always fun.
But you see, it’s all about your thought at the end of the day. You can be highly externally motivated to begin with, and the action you take may be hard work, but if you move yourself to the best feeling place you can regarding whatever you’re doing, you will make your way, in time, to inspiration, and when you find yourself inspired you will not need any external motivation to do anything for your inspiration will be coming from within you 100%, they don’t call it “Divine Inspiration” for nothing!
And then you will truly inspire others, not by your words but through your actions and your example, and you may find they come to hear your words, for they will want to know how to get to this wonderful place they see you in.
I’m not saying to get in an inspired place for others, NO, do it for yourself, for when you find yourself in this place, you will feel it, and you can know for sure you’re receiving clear communication from your Inner Being, and at these moments the Physical and Non-Physical you has blended together perfectly….
And Oh my, doesn’t it feel good!!
And so our journey together continues….
A personal letter…
This is a letter I am writing regarding a situation that happened a couple of days ago. Written to a family member that we don’t see that often. I’m not sure whether I will send it or not yet, let’s see how I go.
Dear Bill,
I am writing this letter in answer to what has happened between us recently, mainly for my own clarity and understanding more than anything, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was hoping you would gain some clarity and benefit from it, but I understand, it’s unlikely you will hear anything I have to say.
The first thing I would like to speak to is your opinion that I’m “crazy, delusional, live in fairyland, and have no idea about the real world”. This almost makes me laugh when I think about it, because there’s so much truth in that, although it’s not very nice to speak to people in such ways, especially when you’re staying in their house as a guest. Let me enlighten you about what you actually meant by that.
We are in totally different vibrational, emotional places regarding almost all subjects that are important to us. I do my very best to see the positive in life, whereas you’re naturally focused on everything you feel hasn’t and isn’t working and blaming everyone else around you for it. I allow you to rant about everything that you feel is bad in life from politics, to the place we live, to people you feel are useless and have no value in life. I learnt many years ago there was no point bringing up the positives regarding whatever you were giving your attention to, for that just made you try harder to convince me into your way of thinking, and as you know, I am not easily convinced out of my way of thinking, which infuriates you.
I let you go until eventually, you speak of something I cannot stay silent on, for instance, the fact that the new generation of children need more controlling and “a good smack never hurt anyone”. I think that’s fairly rich coming from a person that never ever raised their hand to any of their children, but left it to his wife to do.
Anyway, the point I’m making is we sit at opposite ends of the emotional scale on almost every subject. So it’s not surprising you think I’m delusional and live in fairyland because you cannot see the world I see, for you do not have access to it because you’ve spent your life focused on the opposite of everything that is good therefore that is all you have access to.
And in answer to me not knowing what’s happening in the real world, I’m very aware of what is going on in this world, I have just chosen to focus on the best of it, I have chosen to feel as good as I can therefore I do my best not to focus on what I’m not wanting or things that are happening that I feel bad about, if I’m finding it hard to maintain a good vibrational place about something, I make an effort to move to a better feeling place or I don’t think about it.
I also laughed thinking about you telling me I live in the past; I often find it difficult to think what I did last week let alone 15 or 20 years ago. But of course, you have a wonderful memory for everything you think I have done in the past that was wrong. You will never get me to acknowledge such things, for I know the intentions I have whenever I do anything, and they are always good.
You will never pull me down to your negative miserable place regarding life I assure you, this is my life, it is my journey, who do you think you are to judge me, or anyone.
There are so many things that have happened in your life I could easily explain, for it’s easy for me to see how and why they’ve happened, but I would never tell you, for the outcome would be:
1. You would not hear the truth of what I say, but use it as more evidence of how crazy I am. Hehehe….
2. You would hear the truth of what I say, and it would bring you to your knees when you realise what you’ve created in your own life.
So where to from here? You are who you are, and I am who I am, and although I’ve remained hopeful in the last 20 years, I feel it’s unlikely we’ll find any common ground because even though we’re both changing every day, it’s still in the opposite direction to each other. I have decided you are no longer welcome in my home, healthy conversation and disagreements are a normal part of life, but when it deteriorates to name-calling and nastiness, this is unacceptable, and I will not accept someone doing this in my own home and in front of your own grandchildren.
I am unsure if we will speak again while you are in this physical life, but I look forward to speaking with you once you have made your transition back to Non-Physical. Oh, how we’ll laugh about all that went on here.
Take care,
Paulette.
Well, there’s my letter. After reading it through I feel quite sure I won’t send it because I don’t think it would probably do much good. It was fun to write though.
And so our journey continues….
Are you holding a grudge?…Who do you think you’re hurting???
It’s true to say, most of us have held a grudge against someone at some time or another in our lives. It can be a natural reaction when we feel like someone has wronged us in some way, or we have been faced with a situation where we feel there has been an intention to purposely hurt us. It is not possible to look at something that is clearly unwanted and disregard it or be happy about it, but it is possible to move into a better feeling neutral place about it. Through my own experience, and by observing many others, I have come to the following conclusions;
1. Holding a grudge hurts the person holding the grudge the most.
2. Holding a grudge doesn’t change what has already happened.
3. Trying to hurt others only brings more unwanted circumstances into your life.
4. As long as you hold a grudge, you give others power over how you are feeling, the power that you should have, and that never feels good.
Some may say, “why should I forgive them, what they did was wrong”. Forgiveness is not about saying what they did was right or wrong, and it’s never about making the other person feel better, it’s about making ourselves feel better and being able to move on, to bigger and better things, rather than staying stuck in a miserable place that doesn’t feel good.
It’s completely appropriate to decide what it is we’re wanting to experience in our lives, but focusing on what others are doing that we may disapprove of, only attracts more unwanted circumstances with the same emotional feeling into our life experience. This is because, we get what we think about, or more aptly said, we get back how we feel. Whenever we think about something, it always produces a feeling within us, and the feeling we get is always communication from our Inner Being or the Non-Physical part of us, letting us know where we are in relation to what we’re wanting, regarding the subject being currently thought about. If we think about something and don’t have any feelings either positive or negative, we can be sure it’s a subject that currently does not matter to us, for anything that is important, will induce an emotional feeling within.
For example, if I’m annoyed about the way someone has been behaving, the fact that I am annoyed is an indication I am moving away from that which I am really wanting. One of the strongest desires within us is to be happy, and because we grew up with people around us trying to control everything we did so they would be happy, we may have continued on, in the same way. Many have realized it’s not really possible to truly control others, especially in the long-term, as it just makes everyone involved miserable, but we may not be sure how to change, or what to do.
Through our emotions, our Inner Being communicates with the physical here and now us, letting us know where we are in relation to everything we’re wanting. Negative emotion indicates movement in a direction that is taking us further away from what we’re truly wanting, whereas positive emotion indicates movement closer to that which we’re wanting.
Negative emotion is not bad, for its extremely valuable information when we start to understand what it means. We all have the power within us to move to a better feeling place about any and all subjects that are important to us, but many of us have not known this. Instead, we have taken our negative emotion as evidence that others are doing something they shouldn’t be and that it’s our job to control their behavior and keep them in line or we cannot be happy.
Nothing could be further from the truth, for we cannot control what others say or do, for they have the freedom to choose, just as you and I do. But there is something we have absolute control over, and that is how we feel, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you let them.
To begin with, it may seem like an impossible task, for if we were bought up just reacting to everything we were observing, just as many around us were doing, not knowing we had the power to feel better, and that feeling better moved us in the direction of what we were wanting, of course we wouldn’t have exercised a power we didn’t know we had. Nevertheless, that power pulses strongly within us, and like everything else, needs belief and positive focus, to bring it to the forefront of who we are.
The key is to take small steps if we can feel slightly better than we currently are, and we can maintain that better feeling place, that’s wonderful progress!
We didn’t come to how we feel all in one day, it requires focused thought over time and therefore changing our thought into a better feeling place does take some time and effort, but I cannot think of anything more important than feeling happier in our lives.
So let go of your anger and resentment towards others, don’t do it for them, do it for yourself, for you deserve to be happy, it is your natural birthright!!
So what will you choose now??
And so our journey continues…..
Are you free to choose???
Are you free to choose every and all things in your life? That’s an interesting question, let’s look at that a little more closely….
So, every choice we’ve made up until today has bought you to the place we are in now. Some may disagree, saying many of the choices they made were forced upon them, either from parents or by getting in a situation where whatever choice was available to us, was an unwanted choice. Although this feels like we didn’t have a choice, the truth is, we always have a choice.
Maybe our choices were motivated from not wanting to experience the negative consequences others placed on us, or from making many choices that eventually lead us down a path where whatever choices were available, are unwanted, and although that feels like it wasn’t really our choice, it was.
Many of our choices come from being indoctrinated with our parents beliefs and ideologies regarding culture, religion, and community living. We could have chosen differently, but sometimes, when we are young, we’re not even aware there is another choice, and sometimes it’s simply not wanting to experience unwanted consequences that may arise from making a different choice.
We were and still are, motivated to different choices for many different reasons, whether it’s to keep someone else happy, to feel part of the group, to be liked by others, to be admired, or to be loved. Our choices, whatever they may be, for whatever reason, are usually based on what we believe is the best choice at that time, the choice we think will bring us closest to what we are wanting or what will make us happy.
It can be worth while, taking the time to ponder what it is that motivates our choices. For example, if it’s important to always have the approval of those around us, we put ourselves in an almost impossible position, for now our choices are based on what we think others expect or think is best for us, rather that what we think and feel is best for us.
In the beginning it may feel reassuring to have other peoples approval over the choices we make, but no other is really in a better position than us, to decide what is best for us, even if we think that they are.
Always seeking others opinions over what, how, and when we should be doing anything, erodes confidence, making it very difficult to make decisions on our own as we move forward through time. Taking advice from others can also lead to blaming if things don’t turn out as planned, preventing us from taking responsibility for our own choices, learning from them, changing, and making different choices where required. Blaming others may feel better in the short-term, but rarely moves us in the direction of what we’re wanting.
I’m not suggesting we should never seek advice from another, as it can be very helpful to listen to what others have to say if they’re positively focused, especially if they have achieved something you are desiring for yourself, but in the end, the final decision should be ours.
Knowing you are free to choose, and in control of your own life is paramount to really being happy, for as long as we believe anyone else has power over us, or knows better than you what you should or should not be doing, you cannot be truly happy.
For just as you came into this physical world free, you will leave this physical world free, and everything else in between, is your choice.
Are you making the choices that are in YOUR best interests??
And so our journey continues….
The Purest Soul 